CM club: Child won't settle...Any legal(?) advice?

[leeloo1]

I against my better judgement took on a child for a few hours a week, because I felt sorry for the mum and its awful. He's not used to being left (single parent family and usually with mum 24/7) so when left with me he screams non-stop (he was ok during settling in period as mum didn't leave him for long, and it was new and exciting, but now he's realised its long-term - been with me 4 months).

I'm finding it difficult to cope, I've had children be upset before but, with consistency etc, they usually settle, whereas because this is so infrequent he just isn't getting used to it. Also the mum doesn't leave/comes back to be with him as soon as he cries, so we all spend the time together, which is fine (albeit more stressful as I feel I'm under scrutiny!!), but I'm not sure if long-term this'll help him. Oh and mum can't afford to increase the hours.

My instinct says that this won't work out, but if I say so then what happens money-wise (contract says 4 week notice period) - would I just work the 4 weeks and then give her deposit back? And would that be the same if the mum gives notice? (sorry, clueless as not had the situation before).

Sorry this is long,but any advice (financially or on how to cope/improve the situation) would be appreciated!

I would talk to mum and ask her to try a very quick drop off for a while, prolonged drop off's do make it worse ime. I think if you can do that he will go back to be settled. Also if possible can you just have the child every other day for the same hours per week? (eg 3hrs a day, 3 days a week)

If that doesn't work then I would discuss giving notice, yes you are obliged to give 4 weeks notice unless mum agrees to cut that down for her childs sake as well as yours. hth and good luck!

As with LoveMyGirls, I have found that a speedy drop off can often be the answer. I have had a couple of children where because the mothers stood chatting for a few minutes, the children then ended up reluctant to see the mother go. It was also distressing for the mothers!

I have one family now where the parent is gone within 15/20 seconds of me opening my front door and it works a treat. Anything they need to let me know is in the daily diary that arrives with the child.

As far as notice is concerned, your contract will govern what needs to happen. If you do not use NCMA contracts you may be working to different notice periods.

Hope things improve.

The four week notice period needs to be served in writing. With NCMA contracts, if you terminate with immediate effect then yes potentially you would become liable for the loss earning the parent could incur, during that 4 week period. If you were to give the 4 week deposit back then I suppose you could terminate the contract (which is why I operate on a 2 week notice period - 4 weeks is way to long in some instances) or negotiate with the mum about the notice period.

Does the parent have an idea that you are going to terminate the contract? How have you tried to work with the parent - have you got her to leave something of hers with you so that the child 'knows' mum has got to come back for that.

Whats mum's take on all of this?

Thanks for the advice, will ask her to try a quick drop off and see if that helps. The mum does like to come in and it all drags on a bit.

I haven't talked to the mum about cancelling the contract - I just dream about doing so after a bad week! - its useful to know what I'd need to do though (and they are NCMA contracts).