Help!

[bitworriedaboutnextdoor]

Hello. I know this probably shouldn't be in this section but I only really use the CM boards. I have obviously name changed, although I know some people will guess who I am.

I am concerned about my neighbour, I will right bullet points so that its easier to read.

• She has just re-gained custody of her 2 chidren 7 and 10 years old. They were previously living with their Dad and just staying with her at weekends.

• She has mental illnesses and physical disabilities.

• Since regaining custody of her children, I have heard a LOT of shouting, from her and her children and heard a lot of crying

• I have heard emotional abuse from her. One example was when she was outside in the garden, the 7 year old opened a window and said "mum can I have some crisps?" She replied: "Bugger off and leave me alone or I will call social services and get you sent back to your Daddy".

• The shouting, is mostly noticed when I am in bed, probably because at other times my house is very noisy. This is usually at 11pm ish and is often on again when I wake up at about 6-7am.

• The Mum is often smoking cannabis in her garden with various different adults, who come and go throughout the day/night. Constantly. She claims SS knows she smokes it and have agreed on it(because she is otherwise in pain), as long as she doesn't smoke it in front of the children, but I have seen her do this with the children around. I mildly suspect some dealing is going on too.

• The amount of adults in and out of the house is very unusual - different men there everynight, people coming and going 24/7

• The 10 YO has apparently been diagnosed with depression, so the Mum bought a puppy, which apparently solves everything, so she doesn't need any help

• There is often a police car or ambulance outside her house at some point in the day. This happens most days.

• There is lots of shouting, swearing etc going on, in front of the children.

Now my main concern is the verbal abuse. I don't know the extend of it but I feel so sorry for these children.

I don't know what to do. I am seriously considering SS. DH recokons stay out of it, because she isn't somebody we want to be on the wrong side of. I feel that those children need somebody to speak for them.

On another hand, I might be assuming the worst and I don't want to put her children though more stress then they have already been through.

Doesn't sound good. Police may already be involved given how often thay attend the premises.
Could you perhaps chat with the local community beat officer?

If you are concerned (which you are obviously) give social services a call or the NSPCC (NSPCC are the only other organisation who can act if necessary).

NSPCC 0808 800 5000
Obviously I don't know your local duty team number for social services.

It doesn't sound like a healthy environment for children at all and it sounds like the mum isn't coping particuarly well.

As the NSPCC says - you may be those childrens only hope

Thank you.

I would certainly be reporting those concerns to social services you can say you would like to make an anonymous referral and although they will still need your details they will then not disclose them to parents and if it did got to a child protection conference would not say where the referral came from.

No wonder the 10yr old is depressed by the sounds of it we all would be if we lived there!!

men coming and going, potenital drug dealing, using cannabis (no social services wouldnt agree to this!!), shouting at the children using abusive language - neglect and emotional abuse springs to mind

social services are probably aware of them and may not have had enough concerns to do anything as yet so every small piece of information is vital - people think their little bit of info isnt important but its all a piece in a bigger picture and saves childrens lives.

they need reporting

if a responsible adult cant report a child in need, then who else will help the child?

verbal abuse leaves no physical marks (ie bruises etc) so teacher cant be expected to spot it...

for the sake of the children make a call and if SS believe there is a problem then (finges crossed) they will do something to help

I would call SS but in the mean time maybe you could keep a diary of anything that goes on which you feel is concerning?

Perhaps you could support the 7 and 10 year old by being a friendly neighbour.

Sounds like SS and the police are already involved.

She was taken away in a police car this morning and sectioned.

Yesterday she was caught in my house without my permission - I was out and had left the electrician here. She let herself in the back door

Anyway, The father now has the chilren, where they had lived until she re-gained custody a few weeks ago.

And apparently she is pregnant. Not sure who is the Father as she has openly admitted she is sleeping with 5 different men until she decides who is the right one . BUT that might of all been in her head.

She is mad. at 1am she was shouting through a microphone. At 6am she was wondering outside with a doll in her arms to annouce her pregnancy. I feel so sorry for those children

how sad to read

lets hope the dad gets to keep them this time