Am I expecting too much from our nanny?

[Gangle]

I've posted about this before so apologies if I'm boring anyone. We share a nanny for DS1, 2, with another family. The nanny is paid £500 a week net and does 8.30 until 6.30 Monday to Friday. Her duties consist of taking both boys to park/playgroups, supervising them whilst playing at home and preparing one meal a day. She doesn't do any laundry and each family always prepares one of the two meals each day - the meal she prepares is usually v simple, eg scrambled eggs, pasta etc. She has a lunch break of approx 1.5-2 hours each day when the boys are napping. She is very good with the children and they both seem happy with her and are good linguistically. However, I have the following gripes - firstly, she is not very tidy and most days the house is left pretty messy once she goes home. I'm on maternity leave at the moment (DS2 is 10 weeks old) and am tired of having to tidy up after her. I've asked her to do this several times before and she goes a quick tidy but DS1's toys are a complete mess (jigsaw pieces all over the house, felt tips with lids off, books everywhere), beds left unmade after naps, washing up mostly done but done badly so it has to be redone (food left on plates etc) and there are always one or two cups left unwashed with milk/water in them, surfaces left unwiped and (biggest gripe) food left on the floor. After each meal I always sweep/wipe the floor beneath DS's highchair - she does this (I've seen her) but doesn't do it properly so there are always stray bits of food/smears of sauce etc left on the floor. The whole house just feels sticky and messy after she has been. I'm really non-confrontational and hate having to raise this again but it's really really annoying me. I know the main thing is that DS1 likes her and is doing well but am I asking too much that she perform the other duties that go with being a nanny? We are currently deciding whether to keep her on (we now have DS2 so our requirements have changed) so this is really feeding into the decision. I should also point out that she doesn't seem to do much with them in terms of teaching them things - whilst at home she just supervises their play and reads to them. When she was on holiday last month, I tried to do something a bit educational with him each day, like teaching him to count, taking him to a toddler art/painting group etc. Just wonder if she is taking the easy route. What should I realistically be expecting taking into account that this is a share?

P.S - Her contract is pretty standard contains an extensive list of duties including laundry, meals etc.

I wouldn't be concerned about the 'teaching them things' stuff. How old is your older child? 'Educational' for under fives is really all about engaging with them and encouraging them to play, imo.

She should tidy up after herself and the kids, though. It's basic courtesy to leave the house how you find it.

He's 2.2. Just thought she should be engaging them a bit more, suggesting new things, rather than just supervising their play. I never see her sitting with them doing puzzles etc. I also don't think it hurts to start with numbers and letters at this age (no pressure!). I actually think she's oblivious to the mess.

you are NOT being unreasonable in expecting nanny to clear up after themselves, make beds charged have slept in, and tidy toys away properly

she is being paid well and by the sounds of things not doing a good enough job

Well, two boys that age would be a bit of a handful, but really she should be able to manage. I would be a bit unhappy in your position.
It sounds a bit like she is really just "baby sitting" them rather than being a proper nanny.
I can understand that she might not do the laundry, but she should keep all the toys tidy, etc. Also, I don't understand why she can't make all the meals.

I agree that two boys that age are a handful but she's nanny with relevant experience - I'm just a mum but when she was off on holiday for 2 weeks was able to look after both a newborn and toddler AND tidy up after myself so would really expect a qualified nanny to be able to to the same. I also think two toddlers are a LOT easier than a toddler and newborn. I'm sure she would make the second meal if we asked but her cooking isn't that great so we don't bother.

If I remember correctly the other family aren't as bothered with her untidiness? It would be much better if you could have a chat with the nanny as a united front and clearly restate what you expect of her. ( Not that you should have to! ) In any case when she's working in your house, she could keep all the areas used by the children clean and tidy. It's pure laziness not to. Sometimes with toddlers it can seem that as quickly as you're tidying they're pulling something else out but she has a good chunk of time when they're sleeping to keep on top of things.

I'm almost anal about liking clean worksurfaces, dishes washed properly etc. It doesn't take long to wipe up and tidy up as you go along. In my last job I had two toddlers ( one being my Ds ) and a 5yo and would cook two meals a day, unload/load dishwasher, tidy the kitchen, tidy playroom, childrens bedrooms, do the childrens washing and ironing, Hoover the playroom and kitchen as well as go to various toddler groups, music class, various outings and home based activities. You have to be organised and pro active but I think most nannies manage perfectly well. I'd hate my employers coming home to a dirty house in the evening. A few toys out at the end of the day is fine but it sounds as if your nanny makes no effort at all.

If the tidying and cleaning is a real issue for you then I'd seriously reconsider your options with dc2. It'll just bug you over time and a nanny is supposed to make your life easier ( within reason obviously! ) not more stressed.

Im a nanny and am appalled for you. You are not expecting to much at all. I work a 55 hour week, dont have a lunch break, do school runs, educational activities (I have an A4 folder full of activities Ive done with the oldest child), I help run a playgroup to keep the little one busy (there was a waiting list if we wanted to pay so i offered to help out to get in quicker). I arrange all the children's schedules, take them swimming, take the older one to ballet, arrange playdates, trips out and day to day things like library visits etc. I cook all the children's meals, do all the children's washing, iron all their clothes, tidy their bedrooms, change their beds, clean the kitchen and other rooms in the house when weve played in them, I hoover if we make to much of a mess, I do all of this not just because of mine or my employers standards but also because I do not want the children I look after to play in a mess, dirty house. The girls I look after are very happy and I love my job. Im very organised and that is how I manage to my job. The parents I work for are both directors within companies and have very high standards and Im very glad I work for them. Its a challenge but any professional nanny would be able to do it. At the end of the day its a job like any other and nannies need to fulfill their duties. I know plenty of other nannies like me, so if your not happy talk to your nanny and maybe consider a change. You need to tell the people your sharing with that your not happy and you do need to show a united front if you want your nanny to change.

I agree nanny doesn't sound like she's pulling her weight.

1. it doesn't take any longer to wipe things/sweep properly than it does badly and hygiene, especially with a nb around, should be top priority. Some of that long lunch break should be going on a quick tidy up.

2. children learn things by stealth so any good nanny should be asking 'how many steps/apples/books?', 'what colour is this?' 'who can find me a circle?' which is educational without being formal. I'm also a bit about 'supervising' play. Does she really not engage?

3. Parts of 2 are just begging to be incorporated into children helping tidy up after themselves. Never to early to get them into good habits

4. Does she ever do crafty things or go to groups or outings that aren't playgroups or the park?

5. pull out her contract on the pretext of reviewing the share arrangements and point out what she isn't doing. If it says laundry she definitely has time to shove a wash on - children can help (who can find me something red?!)

I would disagree that 2 toddlers are automatically easier - at least newborns stay where you put them and they're more portable (in a sling for example) if you need to do a bit of housework.

IIRC you have a French/English speaking nanny? If she's French (or used to working in France) IME she may not automatically see it as her job to do nursery duties or tidy up and the supervising play sounds very French nou-nou like in outlook to me. Learning is for maternelle Apologies if you're the French one!

to be blunt your nanny is a lazy cow and as you have had several words with her i would follow up with a formal verbal warning/or written whaterv contract says

if she has 1/2hrs a day of peace then she can spend 15mins tidying up toys and washing/cleaning floor

i would check playroom etc before she is about to leave and if not tidy then tell her it needs to be done before she leaves

if you keep her late she may start being tidier

it sounds that when you are off ml that you will need to have a chat with nanny and other family and possibly have your own nanny (and not that one) as if she cant cope with 2 toddlers, there is no way she will cope with 2 toddlers and a small baby

I used to be a nanny and did everything related to the children.

Their laundry.
All their cooking.
Tided their rooms.
Put toys away at the end of the day.
Took them out.
No formal education things but everything they do at this age is educational for them.

Your nanny should be doing a lot more.

thanks all. Yes, she definitely should be doing more. Is it our fault though for not being clearer with her? I have kept on about tidying/washing up but she just doesn't do it properly or improves for a few days but then reverts to her usual ways. And if she does tidy up then it's also not done properly. I don't want to her to keep raising it or go down the route of a verbal/written warning as just so unpleasant and I am currently on maternity leave and really don't want a bad atmosphere at home. Easier to just end the share I think.

"Is it our fault though for not being clearer with her? I have kept on about tidying/washing up but she just doesn't do it properly or improves for a few days but then reverts to her usual ways. And if she does tidy up then it's also not done properly."

Er I think you've been perfectly clear, especially if you're keeping on about it!

Your house, your standards, she should be keeping to them.