Help! Need advice re: retainer fee for childminder

[YellowRoseofTexas]

I'm going back to work in 3 months and am planning to place my son with a local childminder. Really excited to have found her--I think this is the perfect childcare solution for our family.

She is asking for a retainer fee (25% of the monthly fee) which in my understanding would usually be charged when a childminder is holding an EMPTY spot for a period of time. However, my son will join at the exact time another child leaves...I'm basically setting my start date by when the spot opens. Therefore, she has no lost wages, does a retainer seem unnecessary?

At the very least, I could see charging some sort of a deposit, that would cover her finding someone new if we pulled out. But with this policy we would be paying almost 1000 pounds before even starting childcare, which would not go toward her services!

Am I looking at this the wrong way? I want to do what's fair but as a new mom, I have zero experience with childcare. Please let me know your thoughts and experiences!

Many thanks!

op have you asked if your child can start now?

What does she say? She can't ask you to pay for a space that she doesn't have available

Sorry, have been out today and am just now catching up with the posts. Heard from the childminder a few hours ago and this is the situation apparently (which is news to me!!)

She says she has a place available now but only for a child over 1 year (my DS is 6.5 months). She is registered to look after 3 children under 5, so planning for my DS to join would take her 3rd under 5 place, stopping her from taking another child over 1yr now.

So, as far as I understand it, due to the restrictions for only having one child under 1, the place is NOT available to me until September. However waiting on my DS causes her to lose business for the next three months. So this is why she wanted a retainer (rather than a deposit.) Curious if you all think a retainer would be appropriate here...I'm not sure. I can't take the spot, and she can't take my son to fill the spot.

Unfortunately, it hardly matters now, as she goes on to accuse me of telling her how to "run her business", of "quibbling over money" which is "distasteful where children are involved" and making her "depressed". Oh, and she withdraws her offer of a place for my son. Oh dear. Just because I tried to understand why I'm being charged a retainer and what justifies a retainer.

I'm left feeling a bit depressed tonight myself, as it's such an emotional thing, trying to get mentally set to return to work and find the right childcare. But no matter what the details of the situation, it seems I was dealing with a quite volatile and defensive person, so it's not someone I want helping raise my son anyway!

Glass of wine in hand...thanks to everyone for your comments. Happy to hear what you think of this final development.

Well YellowRose (thank you for clarifying the situation) I would say that seeing as the space wasn't technically available for your son immediately then, no a retainer was not appropriate - however a deposit would have been.

As to her attitude towards you - shame on her, that is not particuarly professional at all and I do not condone that sort of manner towards parents - not least that it does your reputation no good. However, to be fair to the lady as she is not here to present her side of things or defend herself (no disrespect meant to you YellowRose), there are always two sides to every story. Mind you if she has reacted this way to a genuine query, instead of explaining it to you and working out a suitable solution with you then she does not deserve your business.

I promise you, not all of us as like that and many of us will bend over backwards to help you.

I have no doubt that she must have a different point of view on this...it would actually have been really great to have her participate in this thread! But as it is, best to just walk away now I think, and not try to get "closure" with her.

I bet she's not a bad lady. Maybe this was just a communication breakdown. Maybe she's had some very recent negative interactions with parents and is feeling defensive. You never know what someone's context is, right?

That said, you'd think this would be a very basic requirement of the job--dealing with parents and discussing fees in a mature and level manner. I have no doubt that the majority of childminders do this gracefully! I'll probably keep looking at childminders, and failing that, I've seen a completely lovely nursery that has a spot for my son, so all's well.

Sounds like you had a lucky escape OP and that she may have been a difficult person to work with should any minor issues have come up in the future.

There are lots of fab childminders out there and you will find one right for you and your child.

Perhaps look on here and see if any of the childminders are local and have spaces there was a thread a while back.

I agree with eastmidlandsnightnanny. If you can't 'hit it off' at this very early stage - I would walk away and find another childminder!

Just checking back in on this thread. What a shame this situation has turned so sour - if the CM had only explained properly in the 1st place you would have understood her position and perhaps been able to negotiate the retainer, instead of being left high & dry with negative childminding vibes and a breakdown of trust.
I wonder if she realises too that although the standard registration is 3 under 5 of which only 1 may be under 1 it is possible to apply for a variation to Ofsted for 2 under ones? For 4 under 5's variations are only granted for continuity of care but for 2 under 1's you have to just demonstrate ability to meet children's needs and sufficient resources.
This doesn't help you in any way, just a bit of useless info lol.
Olease continue to look at Childminders, most are FAB. There's been lots of research (Penelope Leach most recently) that shows nurseries are not the best places for babies and that home-based childcare is best for children under 3 in terms of behaviour outcomes amongst other things, so if you can get a cm that would be good 9but obviously I'm biased ))
Good luck whatever happens

Hi there, ChildrenAtHeart, thanks for checking in. In the end we've decided to go for a nursery near my office. I can see why babies would generally be better off in a home environment (the reason I was keen on a CM in the first place), but honestly this experience has put me off childminders and nannies for now. I do believe most must be wonderful, professional carers. But for me now, I have such a strong feeling that it is impossible to know who you are dealing with after meeting her once or twice. Whereas at a nursery, at least there is some accountability. (This CM seemed totally lovely at our first meeting, so it's very unnerving to see how quickly she became crazy/defensive/bitchy once we started discussing fees.)

Having visited several nurseries, the one we chose is run by a company called Bright Horizons. I like that it has been recognised for 4 consecutive years as one of the Financial Times top 50 Best Workplaces in the UK. They have very little turnover apparently, and I found it a very warm, happy place. At the director's invitation, DH, DS and I are going up next Friday to spend several hours to experience a day at the nursery.

Once DS has settled at nursery, if he doesn't seem to be happy and nurtured then I would definitely rethink things and perhaps go for a CM or nanny...but only if I could get extensive, glowing references.

I'm so glad you were able to have a positive outcome even if it wasn't a cM lol. Best of luck for you all. The nursey you describe sounds great & I think job satisfaction is a hugely important thing to factor in - happy staff make a better workforce & better environment, and as you say, lower turnover, which is v.important where little people are concerned.
All the best!

Hi I am a self employed childminder for children in their own home, I am currently off at the moment and have been told that I can charge a retainer is this right?

I dont understand how you can be a CM, if you are looking after the children in their own home, surely you are a nanny, and as such you should be employed not self employed

moorew2

the definition of a childminder is a homebased childcare provider, providing childcare in their own home.

a nanny is a homebased childcare provider providing childcare in the home of the child.

it may possible to be a self employed nanny but HMRC have to make the decision if you are self employed or an employee depending on the terms of your contract but generally you must be providing temporary care and to more than one family.

you can't charge a retainer but you could charge a registration fee that could be non refundable should the family choose not to use your service.

be very careful and check with HMRC or the family you work for could be fined.

moorew2 - not sure how you are a 's/e childminder in childs own home'. Are you Ofsted registered?