How to approach childminder about photos on facebook

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

I have known DD's childminder for 4+ years, in fact I met her through Homestart and she is a lovely woman who whilst perhaps is not the most professional childminder, I know is the best for DD(5) as I KNOW that she's safe with her.

The problem is that I'm also friends with CM on fb, and have noticed that she puts a lot of photos up of other peoples children (when she has playdates, her mindees and even kids at my DD's birthday party). I don't care to be honest, but the point is that she's never asked my permission for DD to be on her fb, and I KNOW with regards to DD's party that she wouldn't have asked the other parents as she didn't know the other parents (DD's are at different schools). Going on that basis, I also doubt that she's asked her mindees' parents whether she has permission for their photo's to be up on facebook.

I HATE confrontation though and not sure how to broach the subject.

Whilst I say I don't mind DD's photos on there, I don't have her photo on my facebook. The reason being is that there's no one who would link DD to me via CM's facebook IYSWIM.

Any ideas? (also, it's not just me is it who thinks it's wrong to print a photo of someone elses child on facebook is it?)

Also (sorry) this is not a thread about whether pictures should be on fb or not - each to their own I say

absolutely not acceptable

she should not be displaying DDs photos without permission

ask her to take them down

wrt the other children, could you tell the parents so that they can ask her to take them down

Unfortunately I don't know the parents of her other mindees

start by asking for DDs to be taken down

she can be carpeted big time by ofsted but may not realise this, so your request should act as a prompt to take the others down

I know you haven't asked, but YANBU (I am a CM)

Just be really straight forward and in a nice tone say, "I saw you had some pics of DD on your FB page and you can think me paranoid or whatever, but I don't have pics of her on FB, and I'd really like you to take them down, please. "

If she reacts to that, just say equally as nicely, "I know I'm being overprotective but I don't like the idea of DD's pics on the internet."

If she blathers on about privacy settings, just say that that's fine (don't even get into a discussion about how easily they can be busted), but that you don't want pics of DD on the internet and to please take them down.

Repeat as necessary.

I had to do this with DH's aunt and cousin. They PLASTER pics of their grandkids and the cousins on FB. I didn't even get into the whole "you didn't ask my permission" thing (deaf ears, anyway) - just kept repeating "please take DS's pictures down, I don't want pictures of him on the net". They said I was being silly, paranoid, whatever - I kept saying "I probably am... you're most likely right... yes, I expect I am... but please take them down."

Eventually they did.

For a while I was the butt of jokes on their FB pages... "we would have put up a picture of happycoptertoddler but his mum is too paranoid to let us", that sort of thing... funnily enough, after a few days of this they started to have people comment on their posts, saying "actually, you know, happycopter is probably right - could you please take down pictures of our little ones and ask us in future?"

I will say I .

Anyway, sorry so long - but I hope this helps.

I am a CM and I know another minder who was hauled over the coals by Ofsted for this (even though she did have parental permission). I don't even take photos of the mindees without parental permission, let alone use them in any way which has not already been agreed.

And ... as an aside ... I do not like pictures of my DD on FB.

I took mindee to my nephews 1st birthday party last year and sister posted a group photo including mindee on her fb - I made her take it off straight away, even though he hadnt been tagged! As a cm, I know where parents are happy to have photos posted - the internet, imo as a cm and a parent, isnt one of them.

Totally inapropriate and I would put it in writing to her as a complaint. She will have to respond in writing within 28 days and it has to be recorded by her for ofsted to see.

I wouldn't put it in writing if she's a friend as well, albeit just an FB "friend". I'd do it "Hmm, to be honest, I'm not really happy about my daughter's photo being on FB. And I think Ofsted are pretty strict about it as well" with lots of eek kind of smiling and teeth sucking and I know, I know it's difficult isn't it. Give her a get-out first before you start anything more formal.

OP i think you are totally within your rights to request the minder remove your childs photo. Perhaps she doesn't think she is doing anything wrong but its a really grey area re photos/social networking sites.
Like HSMM I know a minder who got into bother with Offy (perhaps we know the same minder HSMM).

also if this minder is storing photos in any manner the law says she should be registered with Data Protection - again perhaps she might not be aware of this.

Of course parents should have given their permission and prior knowledge of how and where photos are going to be stored.

Not sure why there is a suggestion of making a written complaint - without initally talking to the minder and getting their response I think making a written complaint is totally OTT and a rather aggressive inital response.

Thanks everyone for your input. I would never do a written complaint to her as I agree it is OTT.

Carla, she's more than a "fb friend" which is why it's so difficult to raise it with her, but I do like your suggestion of how to raise it.

I doubt she is aware of the fact it could get her into trouble. Will do my best to raise it in and informal, casual passing comment IYSWIM.

Once again thank you everyone for your input and glad it's not just me who sees it as an issue.

Have just skimmed through the thread and can only be quick as off on hols shortly and loads to sort! I'm a CM (I think the one HSMM mentioned) and am friends with 7 of my parents via FB and another few past parents. I once was set up interally by Ofsted (long story, it's because I'd caused someone there to get in trouble) and received a formal complaint from them about photos of mindees on FB. I soon cleared it up with parental permission in writing which was obtained before I posted (they like to see them and post them on their own profiles) but would never ever have dreamed of using photos on Facebook without checking first so I'm not surprised you're annoyed. Just explain to her that she could get into trouble and for her sake you recommend she removes any she has no permission for.

Hope it gets sorted

i had a parent once ask why i didnt have any pictures of her son on bebo and only my daughter. i said that i wasnt sure if she would be happy with it and she said dont be daft.
i do have pictures of mindees in a different context ie my daughter bday party on my bebo but i look at that as completly different and not falling into my normal confidentiality and permission for pictures as the picture was taking while the children were in the care of there parent not me. and i wanted to show all friends and family that i dont really see my daughter having fun at her party with her friends (who may happen to be mindees)

I know this is a bit different but in the contract we have with our nanny we have included a clause that specifically states that if she wishes to post any photographs of our children or home on any public site (electronic or otherwise) that she must ask first.

When we used a CM with DD1 we asked about photographs and how they would be used, not because of anything sinister but because we're both teachers locally and at the time were working at schools where we didn't want to advertise where our child was when not with us.

For the sake of the childminder as well, I would ask her to remove those photos ASAP.

I am a newly registered childminder and I've had several chats with OFTSED and my LA Early Years team covering many topics - as you can imagine with all this Every Child Matters Agenda.

As a result, the issue of Facebook did come up. Both OFSTED and the LA Early Years team stressed that I must never ever put any photos of any mindees on Facebook. Even if a parent says it's OK, my Early Years Support Officer strongly advised against putting any photos of any mindees on Facebook.

As such, I agree with the comment/post made by BoysAreLikeDogs.

I can dig up the regulations. I will do it for myself as it will be good practice for me. I know I will be receiving an inspection within the next 6 months!