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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

What would you do? AP hit by bus!

24 replies

Totallyfloaty35 · 23/05/2010 11:46

Just had an email from sweet French girl due to start June 8th.She had accident with a bus and is in hospital for another week.
She says she is sorry but she can possibly come 1st July instead.Poor child is apologising for being hurt!
Should i get someone else? If she has been injured enough for a couple of weeks in hospital,how will she cope? I dont want to do her recovery more harm and surely she will need follow up apts,but at the same time i really need someone very soon.I was already struggling along til June for her.
My friend said what if after a couple of weeks she decides not to come at all.
I feel very selfish thinking what about me should i wait for her anyway? she is very nice, lots of childcare experience etc.What do i do,i have so many apts in June where i am needing to be in 2 places at once now.Help.

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Earlybird · 23/05/2010 12:16

Sadly (for her), I think I'd extend my sympathies and tell her you must look for someone else.

It is impossible to know how long it will take her to recover from such serious injuries, and even then, you can't know now (and neither can she) that she will be fit to withstand the physical rigours of looking after young children.

Missus84 · 23/05/2010 12:22

Sounds unrealistic to expect her to be fit and well enough to move to another country in just over a month.

Tell her to concentrate on her health, you're going to find another au pair, and she can find another family or maybe come to you next year.

Just13moreyearstogo · 23/05/2010 12:27

Good advice. She needs to recover fully and you need to know you're covered. Her mother will understand even if she doesn't!

frakkit · 23/05/2010 13:14

Don't wait. Get a temp in if necessary and find someone else - you don't know that she'll be fit, she might change her mind (I got knocked off my bike when I was 16 and it affected my confidence enormously) and she probably will need follow-ups etc. She can always come later/next year if she wants to.

catepilarr · 23/05/2010 18:54

i also think you should get somene else now - perhaps a summer aupair? (lots of these should be around) and she might want to start with you after that or find another family to stay with.

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 23/05/2010 20:12

Thanks everyone.She was to be a summer aupair.I have emailed her checking the nature of her injuries and telling her its ok to spend summer recovering instead.
I have also started the long process of finding another girl.
Poor thing,we got on so well on the phone too,but i really think that she needs to concentrate on herself not my lively lot!

OP posts:

frakkit · 23/05/2010 20:39

Were you the person with the nice multiple au pair dilemna? Apologies if it was someone else.

But are any of your other candidates still available?

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 23/05/2010 20:54

Hi,yes that was me Frakkit.None of the others are available now.
Im very confused,just had another email from her and she was NOT hit by a bus,she fainted on the bus and hit her head,so went into hospital for tests
She said she is sorry that her last email gave that impression but the hospital think it was exam stress that made her ill!
But why do you need 2 wks in hospital for fainting????
She def still wants to come,i just have to work out if i can cope without help for an extra 3wks

OP posts:

nbee84 · 23/05/2010 21:05

I was thinking earlier that she must have sustained some quite serious injuries to be in hospital for 2 weeks - so for fainting??

Is it another miscommunication and she has just been advised to take it easy for 2 weeks?

OmegaMummy · 23/05/2010 21:10

coincidentally I read this today. Perhaps its just the medical advisors being over cautious with her..
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/7779126.stm

OmegaMummy · 23/05/2010 21:11

((news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/7779126.stm))

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 23/05/2010 21:11

No, she def says she was taken to hospital,has already been in for 5days and is being kept in for another week.Im really not sure what to think or do now.

OP posts:

OmegaMummy · 23/05/2010 21:11

sorry

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/7779126.stm

frakkit · 23/05/2010 21:12

Which language are you communicating in? If it's English is her English maybe not up to explaining the situation. 2 weeks in hospital for fainting is extreme. If you need any help with the French let me know.

I would be inclined to be harsh and say if she can't start when you need her then she can't come tbh. You need the help. If you still haven't found anyone by the time she can come maybe you could reconsider?

nbee84 · 23/05/2010 21:16

Maybe I shouldn't - but I'm wondering if she's got some other reason for wanting to delay her start date? - a super duper party? Her best friend has a couple of weeks off and she wants to spend the time with her? Can't tear herself away from her boyf quite yet? Going on holiday?

frakkit · 23/05/2010 21:19

BTW I'm in France and 2 weeks for fainting is def extreme! A friend just spent 3 days for a weird tropical bacterial disease before being sent home.

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 23/05/2010 21:31

Lol Omega.
She has actually missed taking her exams so has to take them end of June now.Thats why she cant come til July.Not because of her hospital stay.I think she may have been working herself up and the fainting was the last straw,probably her parents thought she had something severe.
Im looking at other girls who can possibly start earlier but its a longish process,finding someone you like,keeping the emails going,checking refs.....oooh its depressing me already.

OP posts:

annh · 23/05/2010 21:37

If she has been in hospital for 5 days and is due to be there for another week because of fainting, there is something more going on than exam stress. She may not be in a position to take her exams at the end of June if she is still ill and she/her parents/you may not be happy with her coming to the UK with some unidentified and possibly serious health issues. I'm afraid I would look for someone else.

BoffinMum · 23/05/2010 21:58

Could be suspected epilepsy?

HarrietTheSpy · 23/05/2010 22:53

Omega Mummy - Your article DEFINITELY applies to German attitudes too. (At least German APs).

catepilarr · 23/05/2010 23:14

i dont know anything about health in france, but quite likely it works differently in france so what would be treating a serious problem in the uk might be just a precausion and checking everything is really ok?

Strix · 24/05/2010 11:16

I would be doubtful (at the very least) of someone who might faint when the stress gets a bit too much on the bus. Who is going to look after your kids if she faints on the bus when they are with her.

I'm afraid I would move on.

Oh, and I would also heed warning, on how much sick leave she was inclined to take if fainting warrants two weeks off.

Original poster

Totallyfloaty35 · 24/05/2010 18:03

Im looking again,Strix, my DH said the same.
So im plowing my way through applications again

OP posts:

Strix · 24/05/2010 20:43

Poor you. Looking for an aupair (or nanny) can be a full time job. But, on the other hand I do think you may have had a lucky escape as this could have been a lot worse if she was already there and living in your house.

Good luck!

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