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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Advice for 8 year old

5 replies

LesbianMummy1 · 20/05/2010 11:11

Hi can I ask some advice for an 8 year old I child mind. She is a lovely girl who unfortunately struggles with social interaction. She is seeing psychiatrists etc as she has complex issues but I enjoy having her she is challenging with her behaviour and tries to be very manipulative but when you break through her exterior she is a lovely little girl. She comes to me 4 days a week and 3 days of this she is really calm and relaxed and on the whole well behaved. She does need reminders about behaviour but responds well to praise. My problem is on my busiest day I have four 8 year olds and two 3 year olds as well as an 19mth old and a 7 mth old. (I have variation for the 4 under 5's) On Wednesday she can not cope as there are too many children and she struggles with the social interaction. She tries but panics if I have to go and feed a baby or change a nappy as she has no adult directly with her. I don't want to tell her parents I can't have her on a Wednesday as most people have given up on her but don't know what I can do to try and make her day easier. I sometimes get her to help with the babies but this is not always practical. If she is responding to me I can encourage her to do things like craft activities but if she is not can you think of anything else I could try?

OP posts:
Al1son · 20/05/2010 11:16

Could you give her a tent or den of some sort which is her own space to retreat into. If she has enough insight she may be able to recognise when it's getting too much and take herself off for a bit.

LesbianMummy1 · 20/05/2010 11:17

I could try that thanks

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 20/05/2010 13:26

can you meet/speak with her medical professionals to get pointers as to how to help her? This ties in with working in partnership IYSWIM

Also your EY team might be able to offer you training?

In the meantime a den is a great idea; you could use a laminated card system to help her to understand that you are going to feed/change a baby?

LesbianMummy1 · 20/05/2010 13:38

I am in contact with the other professionals and at the moment we have been told not to try to change too much for her as they want to see if what the medical team are doing will have most impact. I have just got off phone to the behaviour support team at our early years service and they say everything I am doing seems fine and just persevere I think it just worried me yesterday that she was so hard to reach. I like the den idea my only worry is that her parents have specifically asked me not to do anything specifically for her as she gets attention and singled out often but I have had a thought I have a cross tunnel in my garden that the older ones use so I may dedicate one tunnel to each girl so that way I am keeping mum happy and also she has her own space. I may then add a tent at the end of hers which I could do as a way of praise for her good behaviour iyswim the other girls would then respect that without her being singled out does that make sense?

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 20/05/2010 14:05

yes that is a good idea, you are right to be sensitive to her being singled out

You are doing a great job supporting the child and her family

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