CM house, first impressions. Should it matter?

[sparkleshine]

Hi

Ok so this might be a bit of a silly post, though it's not really to me.

I've been to see 2 CM today for interviews and for both their houses were kinda 'rough'.

Like the first hadn't washed up and kitchen was a mess even though no children were actually there.
The decorating couldve been improved and they just seemed like it needed makeover. It also smelled musty when I walked in.
The second one needed the grass mowing and fence panels replacing and also could do with a paint downstairs
The sofas in living room didn't match and they looked awful and the carpet in both houses must have been from the 80's.

Just little things that u notice when u go to someones house

Ok so maybe what the house looks like isn't really important and it's the CM and how you feel about them that counts but I can't help feeling that surely if u run a business from home, you make it look as nice as you can.
Maybe they don't have the time or money either, but I feel disappointed.

I don't mean to sound stuck up, my house isn't perfect. Maybe I'm just fussy or the ladies just weren't for me or my DS and I'm picking to make excuses not to use them.

Surely first impressions count.

well it obviously matters to you so it matters

you have to happily hand your LO over there every day so keep looking till you find one that you are more comfortable

each to their own - CMs who's houses are TOO clean and tidy get scratched off my list instantly

I waited years and years for sofas that matched. I finally got them, when I gave up childminding.....

Shabby and a bit lived in is different from dirty, I'm a bit hyper re cleaning, so for me if their were dirty dishes etc I would run a mile, particualy if this CM knew you were coming to visit the very least I would expect would be a clean sink.

The second may have just moved in and hasn't got around to sorting out yet, but if the house was clean, then a bit of shabby chic wouldn't bother me.

It sounds like you didn't hit it off with either so I would have another go with some more.

Did you come to my house? I've been cm full time for over 11 years, only have 4 weeks off per year when I really need to put my feet up and have a rest - I never have time to paint anything as the children are always there - my carpet is probably from the 80's but regularly cleaned and hoovered each morning but quite honestly when you have hoards of children through your house you cannot be precious about anything!!! I also do not have enough time in the day to mow my grass every week as I work 10 hours plus per day! Anyway, I deliberately let it grow long on occassions as it is far more interesting to the children to find daisies and dandelions and lots of different insects and to use the longer grass to make nests or mix it with water to "make soup" than a totally boring highly cultivated lawn! If I had new carpets, matching sofas and pritsine painted walls then quite honestly I would have to give up childminding! Style and interior decorating, I can assure you, is the furthest thing from a childminders mind!

Assuming the place is generally clean, you need to look beyond the decor - are the children happy, are they interacting well together and enjoying chatting or playing with the childminder? Are there lots and lots of toys both inside and outside - a big must in my book - I am overrun with them! Are there lots if interesting activities for them to explore? I do make great efforts to make my business look as nice and as exciting as I can but this, to be honest, is with the emphasis of making it look fun and exciting for the children - I always reckon that you can tell if they really enjoyed an activity by the amount of mess they make. Right, I'm off the deal with my patio which is totally covered in flour, rice krispies and oats - we've been doing lots of pretend cooking today and have had a ball mixing it all up in big bowls with water - you should see the white footprints all over my 80's carpet!!

Ok sorry. Really don't mean to offend anyone honestly. I think maybe I'm getting myself worked up and my standards are too high. It's just I have no idea about what I'm supposed to be asking or looking for. I'm just looking at the things that don't matter I guess.

The pile of washing up btw could have been done. She had morning free. If someone was looking around my house I would tidy up a little. I thought it just looked messy

I know it's the actual work they do that matters more

sorry again x

I always insist that prospective parents come and visit me when I am in the throws of a working day - this way you get a true feeling of the atmosphere in the house. Maybe if, when you next visit, you go when the childminder is working your attention will be taken away from the actual "look" of the place to the more important "feel" of the place, ie how the childminder and children interact with each other and what sort of activities are on offer to the children etc. Ask to see her Ofsted report, registration and insurance certificates. Does she have any photos to show you of the sort of activities she gets up to with the children? What is their daily routine - how will she be able to accomodate your child into that routine? How does she go about planning activities for the individual children? Where will your child eat and sleep? Does she complete a daily diary letting you know what your child got up to during the day? Does she have any references to show you or are you able to talk to parents of the children she currently minds? Hope this helps. Coral

I decorated my playroom this Easter, and within 2 weeks the walls are already badly marked. I am holding off buying a new sofa, which I know we desperately need, but the amount of crap food/wee/drinks that get on it, I know I wouldn't be able to relax. We recently bought new dining room chairs and were going to get them recovered, but have again decided against it, as they are already covered in playdough, food and drink.

As for mowing the lawn, I may do it when I can't find the children anymore .

A really clean childminders house would ring alarm bells, as the others have said, get a feel of how she is with children and the activities/toys she provides.

I wouldnt care about decor or whether things matched. As long as the house was reasonably clean and definitely safe, all i would care about is what the CM was like as a person.

What was your view on the childminders? They could have been the best person one could entrust their child to.

When I first started childminding my house was not brilliant. I tired to keep it tidy. Since then I have had an extension which is lovely. The parents who used my services saw beyound what my house was like and saw me.

You may however find a home which is greatly decorated but the person may not be the right one for you. You will know when the enter the right house whether you want your child to settle there.

All the best. Have an open mind.

my house is v shabby and we try redecorate bit by bit

the dirty dishes in the sink would be a right turn off for me

keep looking, and good luck

shabby isnt dirty.. totally different..

we all have different decor ideas, maybe yours arnt hers.. she might hate your idea of decor.. how knows and it doesnt matter.. iyswim...

Missing fence panels could be important as a safety issue but matching sofas.. get a grip love... You arnt buying the property!!!childminding doesnt make you a millionaire and if it was pristine THEN I would worry..

you seem to be focusing on all the surface issues... look at CORALS post... then choose a cm.. good luck...

I wouldn't really care about decor, but, like atworknotworking, I am very "hyper" about cleaning my own home (ds is exposed to germs, he's not in too clean of an environment..etc before anyone jumps on me for that).

So when I interviewed CMs, those with dirty houses immediately put me off. I was not at all comfortable leaving my baby/toddler in a dirty environment. Dirty carpets really put me off.

Some parents don't mind - that's their choice. I wouldn't feel comfortable about it.

Outside dirt crawling in the garden is much different.

My cm has a very clean house. Yes there's the odd bit of dishes at collection time from baking or whatever they've done, but it's generally tidy and the carpets, floors, walls, furniture, toys are always clean.

If there are toys lying about that they've played with, I'm not bothered by that. The toys are clean and that's what matters. And ds is walking around on and sitting on clean floors.

I love my cm. Her house is a real "home", too, because of her warm personality.

It obviously bothers you so see some other childminders in the area. I'd keep looking until I felt happy. I for example would not choose a childminder with dogs or cats ... just because my girl is absolutely terrified because of a bad experience she had had.

You have got to be 100% comfortable. It has been said before that 'shabby' is very different to 'dirty'. Shabby wouldn't put me off but dirty would. You can tell if the mess has been caused by playing or whether the place is not cleaned.

When I chose my CM my head was happy but my heart wasn't but I went with what my head was saying and regret it. I am not 100% happy so we are moving.

When I first started looking for CMs I had very clear ideas about what I was looking for - nice clean house, no pets etc. etc. as my precious spotless offspring couldn't possibly be exposed to anything remotely.....unclean. I interviewed a few CMs who were perfectly OK, but none of them blew me away; then I met G, whose house was chaotic and a little rough around the edges, who had cats and a huge hairy dog, but she immediately swept DS out of my arms and took him on a tour, tickled him and made him laugh, and you could see the rapport she had with kids straight away. She looked after DS for a year; he came home every day slightly grubby and covered in dog hair, but exhausted and happy, and I never regretted my decision. A definite case of heart over head. Look beyond the surroundings at the person who'll be looking after your child.

But how do you know she had the morning free? When you work (CM or something else) any 'freetime' may be used to attend meetings, interviewing with parents such as yourself, taking her own children to school/activities. Doing chores outside the home, planning activities for her charges.

You cannot say that she had time to wash up, just because you think she had the morning to herself!

I had a CM for 6 weeks for dd1 & used her at a later date for 3 months, I also had 2 god-daughters who used her over several years.

She was unorganised housework wise, but she was a fantastic CM! My dd & god daughters loved her. She offered advice if needed, always went the extra mile. She started at 8, but 3 days a week for 3 months she started at 7 to accommodate me, as I started at 8.

The part of the house she used to CMing had older carpets, mismatched furniture, but it always looked clean & well kept. I think you are being overly critical, tbh.

i think it all boils down to that gut feeling. if it does not feel right, then don't take one of those CMs on. keep looking.

good luck!

If a parent is coming to visit I will do my best to make the place presentable because first impressions are very important, I also try to make a bit more of an effort with my appearance. Of course as everyone on here says your gut feeling and how comfortable your child is with the cm is top of the list but I see no reason for a cm to not make an effort if she knows she has a visitor coming.

'It also smelled musty when I walked in.' - not good! I'd be turned off by that also tbh

You need to distinguish shabby furnishings/decorations from mess, grime and lack of daily maintenance. I can quite understand why a CM wouldn't have lots of glamorous new furniture, and it really doesn't matter, but mess and dirt and generally poor housekeeping will have an impact on your DC's daily experience. If I were choosing a CM I would put clean, tidy and organised right at the top of my list of qualities to be looking for.

Ok I am going to go against the grain here - I am a childminder and my house is very clean, very well decorated nice furniture, immaculate garden etc

Yes the children make a mess, and things get broken and my walls get marked, carpets get grubby but nothing a bit or paint or the carpet cleaner can sort out!

Yes I admit sometime there maybe dishes waiting, but I will catch up with those when the little ones dont need me.

I also use a childminder and her house is immaculate too - most of my friends are childminders and we pretty all much live in nice houses.

Oh and I do have to agree about the front garden 'curb appeal' anyone? I have even been known to get the car washed before a prospective parent comes!