nanny reference problem - advice please

[mrsshackleton]

Hi
We're interviewing for a new nanny to start at the beginning of the summer holidays. After seeing some mega duds, there is one candidate who stands out, she's a mum of three, grandmother (young one) and, judging by her behaviour around mine, very fond of children and capable

The problem is that she's only worked for one family who found her through an agency and is still working for them. She says she wants to leave because the children are school age and she prefers younger ones, plus we're offering more hours, which she needs.She told the family a while back that she needed more hours and they gave her a very good written reference but then upped her hours hoping to keep her. She is worried about me contacting the family because then they will know she is looking again and things could get tricky between them.

What to do? My gut instinct tells me she's good but I still think you should always follow up a written reference. Also if we're offering her the job she'll need to give notice very soon, anyway. Can anyone think of a way round this? Thank you.

I agree that you should always follow up a written reference. In my experience it is always the conversation in which there are hints at the things that can go wrong. You know, when they say "oh she cooks, but just children's food. You wouldn't want to eat it" (Code for "my child lived on fish fingers and gravy for two years") or "she was sick a few times but hopefully she's better now" (aka raging hypochondriac).

In my line of work you hand in your notice and then a reference is taken up. If she's secure in the knowledge that she will get a good reference (it sounds like she should be) then might that be a way to go?

Or tbh she just needs to bite the bullet and accept they are going to find out she's leaving eventually...

You should definitely follow up a written reference but nannying is slightly different to other industries, in that very little can rock the boat. A firm offer often isn't made until a reference is followed up on, which means that you don't hand in your notice until after references have been checked.

Can you make her an offer subject to a satisfactory reference? That way if she's happy she'll get a good reference she should feel secure handing in her notice.

In any case you could be ringing to check a babysitting reference, want her as a weekend nanny or be looking to fill some of her spare hours so there's no need to state explicitly you want to hire her as a full-time nanny.

Good point, Frakked

I've asked her to pop in tomorrow as she passes our house on the way to work so we can discuss face to face as easier on the phone

I really hope it works out as she seems lovely [hopeful]

I would be a bit cautious to be honest, especially if she is not keen on you speaking to her current family. I have come across fake written references before, and when I rang to follow up one, I realized she had given me the number of her (I assume) boyfriend (in the uk), and not briefed him on how many children he (as the German based "dad" in the family) had, nor their ages!

I would agree with her that you say to her family when you ring for her reference you are looking for someone to do some evening babysitting for you...

The only downside of that is that you can't get too thorogh with a ref...

I have done this a few times when a nannies employers don't yet know they are thinking of leaving. I always apologise to the reference straight away saying I have had a bad experience in the past with a babysitter so am always a bit over zealous at checking references and that I hope they don't mind.

Is a bit sneaky but it solves all the problems

I would not do as littlestarschildminding suggests. It is setting a bad example to the nanny that she is starting her employment with deception. I would neither work for, nor employ somebody who were willing to collaborate in a lie, however "white" the lie appears to be.

Why does nanny need to know what's going to be said her ref is checked?

I would just insist that you're going to check it but do it fairly subtly so it isn't overtly obvious that it's for a FT nanny job. If she's as good as she seems then there's no problem as she'll be handing in her notice anyway. Wouldn't agree anything with her about it though.

I am certain her current ref isn't fake, there are details on it which would be very hard to make up

But I still need to follow it up and will - if she doesn't give me the relevant number then it's no good

I am very up on checking thoroughly on nannies, one applicant for this job turned up with references, crb and first aid certificates etc and it was only via a chance question I realised she was using her friend's documents, prob because she's here illegally.

Offer her the job dependent on a satisfactory reference, then call to check it after she hands her notice in. If you like her and are sure her great written reference is genuine, then there's unlikely to be a problem.

If you have a written ref then do you have names that you could find a phone number for? Or an address?

She is worried about me contacting the family because then they will know she is looking again and things could get tricky between them.

I've been fortunate to have other references as well, so a verbal reference could be obtained from someone other than my current employer.

However, seeing that you have a written reference from the existing employer - could you not give a job offer based on the interview and that written reference... with the condition that a verbal reference will be obtained and must be suitable - doesn't sound like the family will give a bad verbal reference.

If the verbal reference was bad, would that actually make much difference... given that you like what you have seen of the person at interview? A glowing verbal reference will help reinforce that you are making the right decision... but would a bad one totally rule the person out?

My gut instinct tells me she's good

Trust your gut instinct... your subconscious mind may well see things that you don't. Based on your past experiences in life, is your gut instinct fairly reliable?

I still think you should always follow up a written reference.

Yes, but it can be followed up after you have given a formal job offer. Thus the applicant can hand in their notice and you can then check the reference verbally.

Are there any other people the person knows who could provide a character reference? Would that help you at all?

So, she wanted more hours. Looked around. Her family found out, gave her more hours and she is still leaving?

I wouldn't worry, i assume you;ll have a months trial period anyway so you can check references during that time.

Lots of nannies have an age group they prefer to work with, and move on when the children are at school.

If they're school age the nanny probably has lots of child free hours in the day, which she may find boring and unchallenging.

Or she may not feel up to meeting the needs of school aged children. If she's not confident about her own educational ability she might be feel anxious about dealing with homework. I don't think leaving a job because children go to school is a bad sign. Nor is the fact she's leaving although they've increased her hours. It might still not be enough.

You have 2 options for her current employer - offer her the job subject to satisfactory verbal reference or insist on checking (with subtlety and sensitivity given her reluctance.

Or you can ask to speak to someone else - does she do any voluntary work with children? A nonchildcare job to check reliability etc? Has she ever helped at a preschool or playgroup?

Who gave the reference for her current job? Could you speak to them?

I saw her today and offered her the job, dependent on good verbal references. She understood completely and is going to text me two references (one her employer's and one someone she babysits for regularly) tonight

So problem solved

I don't see why it's a worry if she prefers small children to older ones - mine are smallish and when they are older we won't need a nanny any more And although they increased the hours we will still be offering her significantly more