How often does your AP use/stay on the phone?

[NewTeacher]

Hi there

Just wondered what was considered acceptable.

Please do say.

Cheers

Ours hardly used the house phone (a few local calls to book classes at the gym etc). She used skype (had her own account on that) to ring home, and mobile (we paid for some credit she topped it up) for calls in the UK.

Ours (and we have had 5) hardly ever use it. Skype / MSN are the answer. She does have a PAYG but that is mainly so I can send her texts. V occasional calls to France.

I use my bosses phone for local calls under 5 minutes or so if needing to make work calls and will sometimes make personal phone calls when proxy parenting - but again only local and less than 15 minutes

I would have thought that getting a package which allowed free calls to their home country would be the way to go (approx £5 i think for europe). Talk-talk offer some good deals. Then just set a time limit (45 mins? - you generally have to pay if they go over 55 mins in one call), and frequency (4 times a week?).

Hmm thats what I thought. We do have the talk talk offer and she does call home and I have stressed that calls must be kept to less than one hour.

However I have found on a number of occasions I have had to tell her to get off the phone as its approaching an hour and she gets funny with me. One time she went over the hour not that she told me I saw it on the bill and her answer was I'll pay the difference?!? Its not the money I'm worried about its the fact I've asked her not to be on the phone for more than an hour and she's ignored what I've said.

She used to ask to use the phone which I stipulated in her contract, but now I go to use the phone and its engaged as she's on it and its annoying me that I have to ask to use my own phone.

When I spoke to her about it she said just tell me and I will get off it straight away but I feel she's missing the point.

She has skype and her own laptop but because it was broken for 2 weeks she used the phone more which I didnt mind as it was her only form of communication. Its all fixed now but she is still using the phone as if the laptop is broken and even though I've said I'm not happy it doesnt seem to sink in.

Its now a case of she's on the phone everyday when I get home from work and I know that she has been on the phone during the day so she has spoken to her friends/family.
She doesnt seem to appreciate that when she is on the phone that my line is engaged and that means people cant contact me.

I feel I'm being made to look petty, as she seems to think I'm being unfair!

Where do I go from here?

That is tricky. If she is consistently ignoring your requests, and you can see from the phone bill she is using the phone far more frequently than you have agreed then I would suggest formally sitting her down one last time and explaining the rules, giving them to her in writing too. Explain than you are not trying to make her life miserable, or impeed her social life/contact with home, but you want the line left open.

If she hasn't changed after 2 weeks then have a pin lock put on and provide a £5 payg voucher incase of emergency calls. She will then HAVE to ask to use it.

As often as she wants for as long as she wants (subject to the 55 min redialling thing which she is very good about). Provided that it is during the day when the kids are not at home (and I am not at home so it doesn't bother me). Occasionally in the evening but always asks first.

Is it a problem if she is on the phone during the day? I can understand whilst you are at home it is annoying, so can you not say unlimited (subject to redialling and get a timer if needed) during the day but then limit it (20mins?) in the evening?

I'm not bothered by her being on the phone during the day as it doesnt affect me and as long as she stays within the 55 mins.

It bothers me thats she still feels she needs to be on the phone in the evenings as well. Considering she's phoned everyone during the day!

Does she have a social life/friends here? It's starting to sound like she's a little lonely?

Deffo not lonely. She meets up with friends for coffee, has them over for lunch (and never tells me! thats another story ;o()

She's out every weekend and even volunteers twice a week at the charity shop.

She is overly sociable hence always talking!

We have had similar. We resolved it by giving them skype and getting a pay as you go mobile (and giving them £10 a week to top it up). And we banned the landline completely. No ifs and buts, complete ban.

Sounds as if she has got a bit too familiar and is treating you like her mother?

There is an answer to this if a little confrontational, but it seems the nice approach is not working.
You can get a passcode put on your phone blocking certain types of call you insert the code and calls are blocked, you reinsert it calls unblocked.
I do use this with my au pairs if they abuse the phone. They then have to ask me, if it suits me for them to use the phone I go to another room and unblock it for them.
This is also a way of ensuring the total ban is enforced when you are out.

"She doesnt seem to appreciate that when she is on the phone that my line is engaged and that means people cant contact me."

Dont you have a mobile phone? Surely, people can call you on your mob. if they cant get to you thru your landline. I think what you want is to control your au pair and she is not letting you to do that to her. That is your problem. I mean as long as she follows 55 mins. rule whats the problem her being on the phone? As long as she does all her job etc.

How is she trying to control the aupair? Why should she have to receive calls on her mobile just so aupair can stay on phone?
Aupair has Skype and access to phone in the day,so to be honest i would just lock it in the eve and tell her she can use it for the 55min thing say 3xwk on the days i was out or not expecting calls.
Its not controlling or picking on the aupair,i would do the same if my dd was doing this, its not polite to hog the phone.

thankyou totallyfloaty.

BG - I am NOT controlling the AP what a funny thing to say. If you read the thread you would know she doesnt stick to the 55 min rule hence the issue!

Why should someone have to call me on the mobile? I have a land line I should be able to use it!

I'm guessing from BGs written English that she's an au-pair!

If she doesn't following the rules then lock it as others have said. You certainly shouldn't have to use your mobile because the AP is constantly on the landline.