How do I approach the subject of an overweight mindee?

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

And do I?

I have a 20mths old girl I care for 3 days a week (same age as my DS) and I have concerns about her weight. She is very heavy, solid, and although the same height as my Ds, weighs much more than him and doesn't fit into the same age clothes.

Her mother and father are on the large side, mother moreso so I expect it's only natural that she may have weight problems too.

How do I go about this? I feel as though I should say something, tactfully, but I don't know how, or even if I should. I feel it's unfair on the little girl and it is easier to sort it out sooner rather than later.

Taking care of the child for a part of the day is NOT the same thing as being responsible for its general welfare and well being.
Regrdless of what your little bits of paper say.

yes, I am very familiar with the EYFS, I work within it too

but it is designed to guide you in YOUR treatment and care of the child. It doesn't qualify you to interfere in the parents' decisions. You are neither qualified nor required to do that.

Ok so this moved on whilst I was typing. As much as I WISH what Greensleeves is saying was true, what HSMM is correct. We are obligated to guide parents, not our choice, blame Ofsted!!!

Follow a recent incident linked to my setting, I've been told by my local Early Years advisor that I HAVE to write a letter to all parents about the dangers of medication in their homes. I've been told that due to something that happened (nothing 'happened' as such but could have done) ALL parents now need to be educated about this. They want a copy of what I send too! I don't like doing this stuff but I've got to, end of.

littleducks - CMs, nurseries, etc all follow the Early Years Foundation Stage, which includes child health. I would not be lecturing parents over chubby, or dainty children, but if I felt a child had their health endangered, then I would take action, as I am sure you would want me to. When your children start school, they will raise the same concerns, just as they should do, to protect all our children.

Yeah but that was based on an incident in YOUR home though wasn't it looneytune?

Not comparable.

Greensleeves - can I ask what area you work in with the EYFS. This is not a dig but our own training has made this very clear - I go on the same as HSMM so we're clearly being told the same thing. If we really didn't have to then it would be a lot less stressful for us but we've been told we have to raise concerns. Also, what about the nursery who got in trouble about the naps. Ofsted received a complaint and they were visited. I feel for the nursery but would love to see something written down that makes it clear that what we're being advised is wrong.

We're not trying to be busy bodies (well I certainly am not), but we've been put in a position where we've been told we have to deal with issues of concern.

But looneytune a tablet that you couldnt explain turned up in your house on your kitchen table, that is a bit different

Ofsted wouldnt want you to tell parents medication guidelines if the children werent bringing prescription drugs into your house would they

Anyway i think the op can see that the reaction she would get might not be positive

You are inflating your own sense of importance beyond the laughable if you really think your job is to educate parents

who do you think you are? You're a childminder. Mind the children. That's it.

I think Excercises In Arse Covering are being confused here with required levels of involvement in your mindees lives.

Greensleeves - You work within the EYFS and do not feel that you are required to be concerned about children's health! If a child came in with an obviously untreated broken limb, or unexplained bruises, I would most certainly be required to help and it all comes under the health and best interests of the child, not interfering in their parents lives.

My c/m told me very nicely that DD's ears needed cleaning. I didn't mind, was slightly embarassed but glad that someone had pointed it out as it had escaped both my and DH's attention.

AhLaVache - something was 'found' in my home yes, I don't know where it came from but because it's most probably from a child's home, I was told I had to write to everyone as the Early Years advisor was worried that whoever had let it get where it did was probably not careful at home. Long story and don't want to go into it on here but from the training, as HSMM says, we're not allowed to ignore concerns. I also found out from a parent about an incident in THEIR home, social services got involved and apparently took my details. I was told that although it didn't happen here, I have to write exactly what I was told as a record.

I stand by what I said. We can't help what our training tells us and it's US that can get in trouble if something is a problem and we just ignored it. I don't know about the overweight mindee, I'm just generalising about what we're supposed to do if concerned.

Blimey this has all got rather nasty.

OP, I am not a childminder but my DS goes to a CM 3 days a week.

At this stage I don't think that you need to mention the girls weight to her parents, as like pp have said, many larger children slim down as they get more active. This was certainly the case with ds1, and I'm hoping ds2 will be the same (he's 16kg at 23 months but all in proportion!).

I think that it's lovely that you are concerned, and hope that the child enjoys the healthy food and activites that she does with you. All being well, she will begin to grow into herself soon and you won't have to mention anything to her parents. If you still feel that you want to approach them, you could ask if she's had her 18 month check with the hv, and how it went. Let that lead into a "did they weigh and measure her?" conversation.

I completely agree with not interfering in the day to day upbringing of children and the way their parents choose to care for them, but I also 100% agree with putting the child first if there is obviously a SERIOUS health risk (which this may or may not be - not having even met the child).

Little ducks wrt 'def won't be using a childminder if what HSMM says is true' then I take it you won't be using a nursery or preschool either, they also have to abide by the same regs and legislations

Of course I am concerned about children's health. If a child protection issue such as suspicious bruising occurs I follow the training I have received, obviously.

But this is a very far cry from lecturing parents about their child's weight just because YOU think she is, at 20mo

Your concern with children's health and wellbeing should inform the way in which YOU care for and feed them. And if real CP issue crops up, presumably you will know which procedures to follow in dealing with it.

It is NOT your job to judge whether or not somebody else's baby is overweight, and not your job to "educate" parents. You are overstepping the mark.

HSMM my dd is in preschool, im on the committee, they do observe EYFS stuff and have been praised by ofsted, they have qualified teachers who teach although they promote a healthy lifestyle (fruit and milk snacks, dentist visiting to discuss teeth cleaning etc) they would not see fit to judge children on their weight as they are not HCP. If there are health concerns/issues then there is a HV linked to the preschool, who is trained and can deal with it apropriately. And this is older kids, so 2.5 upwards, for a baby its a redicolous judgement to make.

yy littleducks, CM are obliged to raise concerns with parents where safe to do so (there are times when it is definitely NOT safe to do so partic wrt child protection issues)

No one is saying that a CM should act beyond their professional remit, of course they shouldn't

well, I think several posters on this thread ARE saying childminders should act beyond their remit.

It's preposterous that a CM is diagnosing this little girl as unhealthily overweight and considering tackling the parents. The child is a baby, the CM is not a health care professional and the baby's weight is her parents' concern.

I cant see how the CM wouldnt be acting outside her professional remit by 'diagnosing' a child as overweight, even a dr/HCP would want to see a chart detailing the childs growth comparing it to height etc. before making a diagnosis because at that young an age, a growth spurt can change the picture dramatically. My ds is now 2, if you look at picture from the past year there a clearly 'fat/chubby' and really skinny phases as he would plump out then shoot up.

If the OP had said she was concerned about the childs diet, that she was presented with a packed lunch containing a big mac everyday it would be a different story, but the OP says the mindee weighs more than her own son and wears a size bigger clothes.

I find it bizarre quite frankly that there are parents on here who are seemingly angry that a childminder has a duty to look out for a child's overall welfare- and a duty to raise uncomfortable issues with the parents if they crop up.

I put absolute faith in our childminder and she is a very important part of my two DSs' lives. The reason we chose to have a childminder and not have our two boys in nursery is because you get that devotion and attention and one-on-one care and love.

As a parent, we are not always aware of problems which may be glaringly obvious to those outside the family. An objective, caring view seems perfectly reasonable to me.

If the child is just tubby, then don't say anything. If it's clearly down to poor diet, which it seems to be in this casethen there is an issue there and I personally would try to broach the subject of healthy eating.... somehow.

justa, I regard my children's carers (I don't have a childminder any more, but there are childcare workers at afterschool club) as equals and professionals too. Sometimes I ask their advice and I have a lot of respect for them. I would not, however, ask their advice on matters of medical discretion, because that isn't their job. I wouldn't ask a plumber to cut my hair either.

A childminder is a childminder. The child's parents are still her parents.

This is totally anecdotal, but some family friends of ours who are the most naturally rakish, skinny people I know, have baby pictures of themselves in the family home where they are absolutely huge! You would never have known, looking at them as babies and toddlers, that they would be so slim as children and adults, but they are. I understand why you'd be worried, but I do think that toddler weight isn't necessarily indicative of adult weight issues. Having the right philosophy around food is more important IMO, and early dieting is probably not good for creating that, I reckon.

poor OP: asked a reasonable question, got some very reasonable answers.....