Is this a normal thing for CM to do?

[Theresnoplacelikehome]

I like my daughter being with a CM. Before she was at aschool I liked that she would get a normal every day routine, a home away from home etc.

Now she is at school she is only at the CM after school for 3 hrs til 6pm. SO I see it as chance for her to do activities and play with the other kids.

However, I found out yesterday that in the last week she has been sat for 1.5hrs in the drs surgery as CM own son had an appointment and then yesterday she and the other mindees (babies) were taken straight to CM's sons judo class from school and all had to sit on the bench for an hour whilst he did his class. She says they will now be doing this once a week.

It's annoyed me a bit. Surely one of the things you have to sacrifice if you are a CM is the fact that your own kids can't do after school clubs if you have other mindees who will be sat there for an hour. I pay her to take my child to watch her own do judo?

I don't want to moan if this is a generally accepted thing for CM to do though... what are your thoughts?

I don't think it is acceptable, although I have never used a childminder. My problem with it is that CMs are supposed to be professional childcarers, not just hands-off babysitting types and she should be actively looking after and engaging your DD, not just being physically with her.

We all occasionally have to arrange work around our families but it should be in extremis, not a regular thing.

I am a CM I would ask parents 1st if it was ok for them to go along to the dr's appointment if not they can come and collect their children ealier, if her son was ill what did you expect her to do?
As for the Judo class why can't she drop him off then go and collect him later or arrange a later class?

The doctors, fair enough, as it would be a one off, emergency sort of thing, but I wouldn't be happy for her to be sat watching the judo class for an hour every week

Doctor's wouldn't bother me.

I think every week at Judo I'd expect to be asked about.

But I'm not sure it would really bother me if there was stuff taken along to entertian her.

Basically, for me, anything goes as long as DD doesn't get put in front of the TV. But then my DD is only 21 months and I specifically chose a c/m over a nursery as I don't want her having really structured, insitutionalised days.

Different for a 6 year old I suppose.

Doctors appts can be bit tricky, if it was an emergency appointment then I can understand why she would have to take mindees along. But I would have expected her to either have phoned you to let you know asap or if not enough time to tell you at pick up.

WRT the Judo, quite simply NOPE not on and I find it quite rude of her to do this. You are quite right in what you say when you become a CM your family's needs sadly come last . My own DD has missed out on after school clubs as they were inconvinient to the routines of the mindees. Thats just life, she accepts that and doesnt complain, but it makes me feel like crap.

There is another thread up at the moment about CM's juggling work with family, it's hard, I always do this when someone says it must be nice to work from home so you see more of your own kids.

I am definitely going to say something.

The doctors appointment wasnt an emergency, just a general appointment, but I have to do mine around my working hours - often taking dd to late evening doctors, or Saturday morning surgery - she could even have taken him early morning as she doesnt have mindees til the afternoon.

The judo is the one that got me. She had my daughter, another school age child and two toddlers. It was a one hour lessons plus the drive there and back. So my daughter got picked up from school at 3.05 and was back to the CM at about 5pm for quick tea then I came to collect her. I and all the other parents are paying for our kids to be sat on a bench bored stiff.

Atworknotworking - I totally agree, I know CM generally put the mindees first and their kids often go without in the way of one on one attention and being able to go to clubs. But it's a job isn't it and whilst I'm sure it has it'sperks like not having to pay for outside childcare, all jobs have some element of sacrifice.

I would speak to her about the Judo but wouldn't mentioned the doctors. Even for a regular appointment she may have not wanted him to miss school for it, and let's face it she probably thought she'd only be in the doctors for a short time not 1.5 hours. She probably just got held up with the normal waiting around.

My cm had a doctors appointment today, she had one mon when ds doesn't go but was mis-diagnosed and needed to go back ASAP so had to take first appointment possible. I was a bit when she said that ds would be looked after by her cm friend. She didn't ask just told me But I won't say anything, afterall what should I expect her to do?

When I first started childminding my daughter was already attending a gymnastics club after school. I told every parent of this when they visited so those who were not happy to choose to go to another cm if they preferred. As it happened everyone was fine and in fact i only had 2 babies then, one of whom would nap about that time and the other would sit in the cafe with me and have a snack. DD was in reception and the class was only 45mins so no chance to drop off and go logistically. If I had school age children they could ave had the option of joining the club themselves.

Now DD is in yr4 and her school has alot of after school clubs. I also mind a 7 and 8 year old from the same school and as parents we have already discussed if the girls want to do any after school activities they either do them on the same day or when not with me. My basic rule being that I want to be flexible and also dont want my daughter to miss out but equally I have very young children to care for and I will only do one trip up to school to collect and that has to be at a time that complements naps/meals etc.

I think it is sad to assume a cms child should not be allowed to go to ANY after school activities - it is not them that chose to become a CM after all, but as I have described, everyone - cm and parents need to make arrangements with discussion and consideration. Drs appt should have been checked out though.

Well Eddas, I certainly wouldn't let my dd just be dropped off with a CM's friend who I didn't know. CM or not I would like to get to know someone before I let them care for my child.

Would your dd want to join the Judo class?

If she is not keen on judo, I would look for a different childminder.

my ds sees the other cm regualarly as my cm and the other one only have 1 mindee each, both boys roughly the same age so they meet up often to visit toddler groups etc. I think the other cm was going to my cm's house to sit with ds and her mindee whilst she went to the doctors. My ds is 3 so maybe it makes me a little less worried

I am not a CM.

As a one off thing the doctors visit wouldn't bother me. it is not ideal, but I dount they expected to be 1.5 hours; it was probably just bad luck.

The judo class would bother me. If I was paying someone to look after my child after school i would expect them to be doing child centred activities with her - playing, going to the park, etc I ould not be happy with having my child sat on a bench, especially having already spent a day at school having to follow rules and being more sedate. I would also not want to feel like my DD had to join this specific club just in order to avoid sitting on a bench for an hour.

TBH I would look elsewhere.

I would be fine with the doctor's appointment.

With the Judo - it depends. My CM ends up driving her dd to dance classes several times a week while looking after my dd and other mindees but they do not wait and watch the class but go home again usually. Once a week my CM does stay to watch the dance class but on this occasion she pays for the other girls to also participate in a dance class. Win-win all round in my opinion. I am happy with this arrangement but then I have a great CM who is really flexible etc so it works both ways IMO.

IT depends on what she is doing with the children while the judo is on. If she brings activities which are stimulating and enjoyable for them to do then why would it be a problem?

I treat childminded children as my own. I wouldn't expect my own child to sit there bored and neither would I expect a childminded child to do it. If she isn't keeping them entertained and stimulated then she isn't doing her job and that counts for at a judo lesson and at home.

I'd focus more on what they were doing than where they were doing it.

I had to take a mindee to my son's swimming lesson when they changed the day for a term, but I asked mum and I took a football, books and a ds to keep him occupied, I certainly didn't sit watching the lesson ignoring him.

But I wouldn't choose to do it, and I would tell parents that i am not usually available on the swimming night unless they were happy for me to take the mindee.

With regard to the doctors as others have said its not a regular thing so unless she has a dh who could have finished work early then I wouldn't be too concerned.

Depends whether you have an option to send your child elsewhere.

I am a CM and used to take children along when my daughter did kick boxing. This was agreed in advance with all parents. One mindee was also enrolled in the class with her. The others sat outside at tables with me, with drinks and snacks and activities to do.

i have taken children to appointments. these are things they would have to do at home so should get used to the doctors setting the talk leading up to it and meeting the doctor. it will help them learn and reassure them for when they have to go to an appointment. i try very hard never to inconvience parents by saying you need to pick up early or i can not work this day due to appointments, class ect as i know my parents would find it hard to take time off work or arrange something else so i am more than happy for the children to come with me.
i started childminding just as i feel pregnant i had a 10month old and a 1 and a half year old they both came with me to my appointments and one even came to my 2nd scan. if it was the parent that was pregnant then most of the time the child would have to attend these things with them its a great learning experience and helps them be involved.

the same with groups if you have brothers and sister then at some point the boy is going to be sitting waiting on his sisters dance class then the girl will be sitting while her brother at swimming or football. thats all part of life and things children need to learn thats its give and take.

my daughter attends takwando on a wednesday 3.45 till 4.30 i only have one other child at this time and have no interest in taking on another especially not an after school as they would be harder to take along as they are to old to join in. orginally the 3 year old i mind was going to join but his mum visited it and wasnt impressed instead we comprimsed that he would go every second week and watch my daughter and the week in between me friend would take my daughter as her son also attends.
personnaly my daughter loses out on a lot due to my job so if there is ever things/groups she wants to attend then my job will not be the cause of her not attending i would arrange something even if that group became part of the service i offered i paid for it.

See cheryl I totally disagree with your first bit. my daughter is at school all day and therefore after school I just want her to relax, play and have fun. I (and the other parents) pay £6.50 an hour for CM to look after her and entertain her, not so she can be taken on everyday things which I always try and do during the day whilst she is at school.

I wouldn't use a CM who regularly said she/he needed a day/half day off for appointments, neither would I use one who regularly took my child to appointments, my dd is only there 3 hrs a day 3 times a week. She should be doing things like appointments during the school day when she has the children.

I do agree if dd had brothers and sisters then she would be going along to their classes etc - but this is not me taking her there, this is the CM doing it purely for the benefit of her own child whilst we are all paying her for our kids to be sat there watching. Give and take is a great thing for kids to learn, but dd can learn that in our time, not in the time she spends with CM which i pay alot of money for!

I am going to discuss it with the CM next week.

my the 1st part of my post applys more to younger children rather than after school children. i do tend to do my appointments during the day when i have less children rather than after school when its very busy.

although a lots of parents chose a childminders so they do every day things and will still being cared for and taking part in a range of activities.

Blimey Noplacelikehome! Where do you live?
£4 an hour round here is a about the norm!

On of my DD's goes to ballet which is in a village hall next to a playground, so I play with any mindees in the playground, in winter I take books, paper, pens etc to keep them entertained. All parents have given me permission. As long as it is handled OK, it doesn't hurt children to go to activities as this is part of everyday life.

I work from 7am - 6.30pm so sometimes mindees have to come with me to doctors and dentists. I always make parents aware and obvioulsy use it as a learning experience.

doctors and dentists are a no brainer, do you expect the cm to not take her own children to those? or should she book time off, like you would, to take her own children thus leaving you with no after school care?

My 10 year old is old enough to be dropped at classes by herself now.. does the mum have to stay to watch?

I do agree its not fair for your child to be sat at a judo lesson for an hour if you hadnt been asked, and if it bothered you in the first place, thats not fair to you, but I think unless you paid for an after school club or a cm who has no chldren then its par for the course

also have ot ask, how do you know she waited 1.5 hours at the doctors? if so the person I feel most sorry for is the cm, must have been awful for her coping with bored kids...

anyway always best to have a chat with her first and agree ground rules, though as Rosie girl says it is all part of life and children dont have to be stimulated 24/7 do they? whats wrong with a little bit of bordom... makes the stimulating times more stimulating doesnt it? good luck..

I would really object to the judo class bit. I work to 6 p.m. so my kids miss out on any clubs that start earlier than 6.30. It's just the way it is. You are PAYING her to look after your child - not to sit and watch her own.

Both would be fine by me but not waiting at the docs for 1 1/2 hrs! Also, if she's taking them to watch clubs then she needs to make it fun for all children, maybe they can join in (depending on what age they are) or take something to do. Or can she take the others to the park while ds is at his club?

Children are children and they should be treated equally regardless of who they are. While a CMs children shouldn't come first, neither should mindees.

You do seem to be paying alot for after school care though.