struggling a bit

[woahthere]

Has anyone ever asked for shorter hours to start with? Ive just started looking after a toddler every day for 10 hours a day. The problem is he has screamed non stop since he started a week ago, he is happy in the buggy so we have spent a lot of time on walks but I cant do that all the time as I have other children to look after. Its especially hard in the morning and after school because I have other children to look after as well and they are all suffering quite a bit from the noise. My son himself is defo being affected by the stress and is clingy and wanting me more. Im just thinking that until he gets over his initial seperation anxiety is it reasonable to ask the parents if we can try a shorter day until he has settled in...or would this be counterproductive? Im pretty much at my tethers end to be honest but am frightened of saying anything as they may think me unprofessional?

I think when you first start and suddenly you are caring for a child you don't know for 10 hours a day it can be daunting and if that child is distressed it makes it especially hard, it was a steep learning curve for me when I first started.

If the parents are in a position to do shorter days then I would ask but then if they have asked for 10 hours per day I would assume that is because it's their only option as they wouldn't want to pay for that amount of time if they didn't have to.

What is your day like?

I break my day inot chunks so it's manageable so I have..
before school, school run, toddler group, lunch time, nap/ quiet time, school run, after school, tidy up time, tea time, home time before I know it the day is over and it's time to clean up and chill out do paperwork.

If you have already done a week you must be almost there with settling him in so unless the screaming is unbearable I would just carry on tbh.

My day goes..before school, school run, baby breakfast time, nap, lunch, toddler group, school run, nap, playtime, tidy up time home...or if playgroup is in morning its pretty much the same as yours. The screaming is almost unbearable tbh, maybe I took too much on. I knew it would be hard but I hoped it would be worth it in the long run. How long can he carry on like this for do you think? Ive always dealt with babies fine before but last week I felt like I was in an exhausted stupor walking manically around to stop the crying!

How old is he Woahthere?

Was the crying less yesterday? Keep trying distraction and igoring with reassurance? ie just carry on as you would if he wasn't crying and reassure him?

Good luck for today.

I did once have a child who cried constantly, refused to play, wouldn't take his coat or bag off to start with, he visited for a month with his grandad (I think a month was too long as then I had to start over when his grandad stopped coming) but he did settle eventually, in a way it might be harder for you because he's full time but then instead of it carrying on for weeks it should in theory take less time for the crying to stop.

still screaming guys...only slightly less, i am so stressed its untrue...

Hiya,

I completely understand! I had a little one who cried all the time and really affected the behavior of the other children.
It drives you insain, and to a large glass of wine each night (I don't normally drink!).

It went on for 2 months (2 half days and one full per week) but agreed in the end with the parents that is wasn't working. She was happy with me but hated sharing me with the other children or having them near her.

I have since filled the place and feel much calmer and happier.

I don't give up easily but was finding that it was getting us all down.

Sorry don't have any tips for improvement. I just think that sometimes you have to put yourself and the other children first.

It really is down to the parents to prepare the child for the seperation too, i.e not carry them around all the time or fuss over them too much in the months before they hand them over to a CM.

Hugs and a large glass of wine to you!!

hi emma what happened to the little one when she left you? did she find somewhere else and was happy because i keep thinking that about the little one i have...surely he will be the same wherever he goes, he must settle eventually? Actually he did improve a bit today...still Im not looking forward to tomorrow, Im finding my job very hard at teh moment and it is really impacting on our personal lives.

I know what you mean by the wine! Its really bad, Im drinking most evenings, keep saying I wont but then have such a bad day, I feel really really stressed. Its not the first time ive looked after a baby, its just the first time I looked after one that cried like this.

Hi woahthere,
The little one went to a nursery. I have not had any feedback to know if she is settled there. On the one hand I can't imagine it as she really wanted one to one contact. On the other hand she was very happy at playgroups with lots of hussle and bussle so maybe it is best.

When all said and done it is not for you to worry about. You can only do your best and is it fair on the child to be crying all day?

Respect to those who go on for months and manage to settle a very sensitive child, but with other mindees and young children of my own...enough is enough!

I now have 3 other children starting( various hours) and think that the environment will be much better, not to mention we can get out and about more and do more activities!

It is your call and like you say not every baby is like that.
Lets hope it improves before you have to attend AA!!!

we've had a great day today...wooohoooo i am having a celebratory drink instead! i hope it continues!!!

Hurray!! Let it continue!