One 3yo mindee, the rest 1 or under - good idea or not?

[Maranello]

My ds currently goes to a (lovely) cm, he's 2.6yo and the other mindees - there are 3 - are all around the same age.

The plan is for our dd to join him there when I go back to work. She'll be nearly 1yo and ds will be 3. But we've just found out that due to other mindees leaving and new ones starting, it looks likely that our cm's other 2 mindees will also be babies - both 1yo.

[She is authorised to care for 4 under-5s BTW, although in fact I don't think she would have all 4 every day.]

This suddenly seems like a less enticing prospect for ds. He's continued to go to his cm while I've been on ML because he has such fun there, but also to spare him from having to do baby stuff all the time. If it's him and three 1yos, I think he might not enjoy it quite so much...

WWYD? Am interested to hear from cms and parents about whether we should be thinking of other options. TIA

Bump

well I had problems with my very lovely CM when DS who had been there since he was about 1 hit 3.5 and her childrne changed. He was by far the eldest there. In the end he was so bored and unhappy I have reduced him to 1 day a week when his friend (similar age) is there.

Having said that it depends on your CM - some are better at keeping older children occupied than others (IME)

I would discuss your concerns with her in advance - can she do a nursery pick up and drop off that might give him nough interaction with similar aged children if you can get himinto a nursery.

Thanks Kewcumber - that's exactly what I'm concerned about, that he'll get bored. Hope your ds is happier now.

Unfortunately our cm doesn't do drop-offs/pick-ups, as they go to children's centres etc most days. That's a plus as obviously ds would be mixing with children his own age there, but I'm not sure that'd be enough.

He'd probably enjoy nursery, but dd is too little (IMO) and we really need to have them in the same place...

no - I was thinking of a normal pre-school nursery (9-12ish) but if she doesn;t do drop off or pick up then thats not really an option.

DS happy as Larry now but her used to go to sleep for 2 hrs at CM's every day and I hadterrible bedtime problems as a result( he dropped a nap at 2).

Sorry I can't be more positive but you can only discuss with her adn perhaps try it to see.

No problem about not being positive! Ds getting bored and unhappy is precisely my worry - and I'd rather work out in advance if that's likely to be the case, before we start dd there too.
Thanks

i think it depends on cm i have a 6 yr old 3 yr old 16 month old and 6 month old and make sure they are all invoved some way or another, in everything!

Thanks hopandpop. Our cm is great and ds has been there for a year or so, so I know she wouldn't leave him out. Seems like you have quite a range of ages, though, and in our case it'd be three babies all pretty much the same age, then ds who'll be 2 years older...

I think it could be a problem for him. I am a cm and can certainly understand your worries.
Mine range from 6 months to 3.5 years.. does your cm go to groups so he can mix with others his own age, does she have cm friends with toddlers??

why dont you go with it and just see how it pans out, if hes bored or unhappy he will soon let you know..

I think it could be a problem for him. I am a cm and can certainly understand your worries.
Mine range from 6 months to 3.5 years.. does your cm go to groups so he can mix with others his own age, does she have cm friends with toddlers??

why dont you go with it and just see how it pans out, if hes bored or unhappy he will soon let you know..

This happened to DD (a very chatty 2.3). She was with a 3yr old who she got on very well with and a 1.6 yr old. This has now changed to her being the oldest with a 9mth old and 1yr old.

I've decided to leave her for the summer (2 days per week) as CM takes her to a local toddler group where she plays with others of her age, and often invites friends rounds with similar aged DC. I try and arrange a play date with another friend on the other days, and we go to Jo Jingles music group as well, so I think she's getting a good mix of ages.

It often turns out that the babies sleep for a couple of hours anyway and DD gets the full attention of CM.

So far, she's still loving going to CM and until this changes, I'm going to keep with it.

I'm also hoping that exposure with younger children will help when DC2 comes along in July.

I am a CMer and if this happened to me I would be confident the older one wouldn't be missing out. We meet with lots of other children during the day, the younger ones would sleep meaning I could do puzzles/more structured craft things with your DS and spend more 1.1 time with him.

You son will also learn a lot from being with younger children, how to be more patient, caring etc I bet he would also love being in a sort of "teacher" role helping the younger ones to do things. If your CMer is a good 'un and goes out and about it shouldn't mater IMO.

My advice would be to leave him where he is, have a chat with the CMer about your concerns and see what happens.

When your son was little were there any bigger ones then?

im soon to be working with another minder who has 2 babys her own kids and a 4 yr old she feeds babays after setting up an activity, often walking round feeling while baby is in carrier!

Thanks all.

I haven't said anything about this to my cm yet, but I think she might have anticipated my concern a little as this evening she was telling me that the other children at the playgroups they go to are all around my ds's age and he's good at making friends (which is nice to hear in any case!).

I suppose I'm hesitant for two reasons: first, because going to the cm with the current set-up means ds doesn't have to be the "bigger boy". I do see what you mean, navy, about him enjoying the role, but he does have to do a lot of that at home with his sister already.

Second is that dd is due to start there in a few months' time - I don't want to settle her in (knowing that cm will be great with her) only to then find that ds is unhappy.

I am a CM and we get out and about in the community alot for all the children to meet and mix with their peers. Also, if the others are so little, they will probably nap for a while in the afternoon when your 3 yr old will get some valuable 1:1 time. Speak to your CM and if she cannot reassure you, then think of your options, but I'd like to think that she'll be ready to explain what she can provide. Does she have older children after school, or in the school holidays, so he can be the little one as well as the big one?

Thanks HSMM, no, she doesn't have any older children - I'd like for him not always to be the big one, though! Good point about one-to-one time during naps (he does still nap himself at the moment, but I guess might have dropped that by 3).

I think he will get bored and need stimulation. I am not a childminder but I have a 3 yr old at home with a 2 year old and a baby and he is desperate to do stuff all the time. With all the best will in the world I can't provide it and that's why preschool/nursery would be better - or someone who is minding children that age so that they can do focussed activities for that age group.