My child's cardigan smelled of smoke when she came home from the childminder yesterday - what should I do?

[whattheheck]

DC (13 months) has been with her childminder for three months now and seems happy, never had any cause for complaint. However yesterday when I took her cardy off for the bath it smelled of smoke.
CM's house is always pristine and never smelled smoke there or on her before. Weird because DC's coat doesn't smell - only cardigan and Tshirt. I know she always visits a friend of hers on Tuesdays and wonder if it might be her.
Don't know what to do. Don't want to go in all guns blazing in case it was just at a busstop or something (but why DC's coat didn't smell of smoke then?) But really feel v strongly about no smoking round my child. Never really had conversation re smoking with CM as thought it was a given these days.
How would you approach it? Appreciate am coming across rather overemotional and don't want to kick off - yet now feel worried my child been exposed to smoke and this is first time i realised it

I wouldn't say anything unless it happened a couple of times, then I would enquire politely about where it came from. Could easily be at a bus stop or playground.

just ask her how come yr child's cardigan smells of smoke. Don't see the problem - nowt wrong with asking reasonable question and doesn't have to be all guns blazing. You pay her for a service and are entitled to question whatever you want

oh and wash the cardigan

It could have been out walking somewhere or at a bus stop. It was quite warm at times yesterday. I know I walked into town after school with ds and he refused to wear his jumper or blazer as it was warm.

I would wait and see if it happens again.

She might have left the cardigan in a room with a smoker.

When you pick her up next Tuesday take a deep breath in as you give her a hug. If you smell smoke again say it straight away, especially if her hair smells of it. There may be a reasonable explanation but if not it will be a clear warning to your childminder that you don't like it and she needs to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I wouldn't wait for it to happen again. I'd say something now. And get it sorted now. If it was a bus stop... then fine. No problem. if dc was exposed to a smoker or smoke, then it will be clear to the cm that you don't like it. I always think it's better to get these things clear and out in the open straight away.

Definitely say it sensitively and in a non-accusatory way iyswim. As another poster said, you're paying for a service, you can ask questions.

If you wait, next time you'll be more upset about it and letting things build up is never good. Besides, do you really want to chance her being around it again?

Just ask. I am a CM and I wouldn't mind a parent asking a question about their child's care. I would probably be a bit more defensive if they came in all guns blazing and there was a perfectly innocent explanation.

No I totally agree! It's more - how would you ask the question? I'm sorry to sound so wimpy but am just worried about how to sayit without sounding accusatory?

I'd say, "I don't want this to come across the wrong way, I'm not accusing you of anything because I'm sure there is probably an innocent explanation, but I smelled smoke on dd's cardigan and tshirt yesterday, not her coat, and just wondered what this was from?"

If she does have an explanation she'll give it then and there. If not, she may become defensive, but it will at least make her more careful to make sure it doesn't happen again.

ah thanks StarExpat...that's the kind of thing I need to say. Thanks!

I'd just say 'I noticed DD's cardi smelled of smoke last week and I thought that was really odd because I don't think you smoke (said in a jokey tone) and I just wondered where she'd picked up the smell from'

Then when CM has a perfectly innocent explanation laugh at yourself for being a PFB-Mumzilla (which you're not being, btw, I'm totally with you on the smoke smell being a worry thing).

Or even yesterday, rather than last week...

frakkinnuts thank you. And yes I am a PFB-Mumzilla (is the first step to admit it )

Yes. There should be a PFB-Mumzilla's Anonymous support group...

In all seriousness whatever you might be PFB-Mumzilla-ish (PFBMZish?!) about you're honestly not over-reacting about the smoking thing.

Oh for shame...ignore the misplaced apostrophe place - PFB-Mumzillas' support group or PFB-Muzillas Anonymous' support group, depending what you wish to call it....

May I go back to bed?

Of course. As long as you can pen the manifesto for PFBMASG before falling asleep!

I have a childminder mate who cared for a boy who's parents smoked, she said she had to hang his coat and school bag away from the other childrens clothes else they reeked of smoke.... maybe this has happened. but would mention it

I had to apologise to a parent a few weeks ago as I sent her daughter home with her coat smelling of smoke. I had lent my buggy to someone who kept it in her house overnight, they smoked and it smelt awful, but I didn't really realise until I was back home again and I could really smell it and I had already used it..
I would be very surprised if she hadn't noticed the smell and I would definately ask why she smelt.

Tell her to stop smoking! Much too young IMO.

I bought two buggy footmuffs from Ebay once, when I got them out of the bag they STANK of smoke so I washed them and they still reeked, I had them on the hallway radiator and I had to apologise to all the mindees about the smell - I ended up washing them twice and hanging them outside, I dread to think what the sellers house was like for them to be that bad

I have a wood burner and the nap blankets the children use can then sometimes smell of smoke.

I hadnt realised this until a mum queried the smell and we both realised what had happened.. I was mortified but glad to have been able to reassure her and take action.

wood smoke smell not cigarette smell though.. its different...

i would just ask her..