advice from childminders

[newmum2]

I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who has been at his childminders for about nearly 1 year now. he took ages to settle down but lately for about the last few months he has been crying going in. Last week he cried really sore but the child minder says he settled after after around 5-10 minutes.

Do you have any mindees who still cry when being left and what can I do to help when leaving him in. I do the usual - give him something of mine to show I coming back, letting him know that I will be back for him after work etc.

Help thanks.

It sounds like you're a little unsure about whether he really is settling quickly. When I had a mum who was worried in the same way I would take photos of him playing and email them to her at work. She would get them as she arrived there and it really reassured her.

I've had children who suddenly decide that they want to choose when to be here. They would make a fuss about being left and then refuse to go home at the end of the day too. She may just be thinking that she should have a say about where she is when. She'll probably settle again soon if everyone is consistent and reassuring.

HTH

I had a child like this, she used to cry at the door step and scream when the door was closed by the time the parent got to the bottom of the drive she had stopped lol, I did what the previous poster did and took photo's of her child happily playing. sometimes if the child senses you are anxious they pick up on this,

I often advise parents to come and peek through the window after drop off and they can see that their traumatised screaming child is now happily playing with the other children. If this wasn't the case, I would be honest with the parents to discuss a solution.

I have had children who are boardering on hysterical but minutes later after mum/dad has departed/out of sight - happy smiley child appears out of the blue.

from a parents pov - my son who is now 5.5 and in reception:

he cried when he went to playgroup from 2.5yrs
he cried when he went to nursery from 3yrs
he cried starting school last Sept - and still has funny mornings now - more often than not i still have to walk him to the door
he cries when its the childminders day to pick him up from school (1 day a week for 1.5hrs)
(gosh all this sounds like i have abandoned my child in all these other places!!! lol)
and right up till just b4 xmas he was crying every day since starting playgroup - proper full blown tears, clinging onto me - however I was reassured by all practitioners that he was fine - and yes I did go back and have a sneaky peak and the little monkey chops was off having a wonderful time while I was left feeling bad and guilty and on the verge of tears myself.
like I say we still have the odd morning at school with tears now but apparently he loves school - so he tells me.

I think some children just love mummy company so much they find it hard to cope with that intial separation and some children are so blooming switched on that they know how to tap into the mummy guilt-resorvior!!

Thanks for all your advice and reassurance. He def knows how to work mummy! and I do think its me feeling guilty. The childminder says he does have separation anxiety but does settle

Cheers