Should my CM ensure baby gets some sleep?

[herbaceous]

Hello

My 9mo DS has been going to a childminder for about a month, for two days a week. But he's just not settling, sometimes crying pretty much all day long. This is heartbreaking, as at home he's a jolly little soul.

This may well be separation anxiety, but I think it's also because he doesn't get enough sleep there.

At home he's recently started to have a huge morning nap of about 2.5 hours. But the CM takes her toddler charges out during the morning, so DS has to go along in the pushchair, in which he won't sleep.

Then, back at the CM, the cot is in the room where the other children will be playing, so he's lucky if he gets much sleep there.

I realise to some extent he's got to fit in with what goes on at the CM, but should I get a bit fierce with her and ask her to ensure he gets his naps? It would make her life easier, too, as he wouldn't cry all day!

This must be equally concerning for both the Mum and the childminder - I think Nick's suggestion is good - I have had a couple of children come to me that had difficulty settling for their naps and and something from their home (one of them actually came with the blanket off their own cot!) helped a lot. However, one thing that puzzles me is the mention in a couple of posts about a child sleeping upstairs in the minder's own bedroom. It is very important to check that any minder has that provision in their registration and specifically which upstairs room is specified - it is not common around here at least, for the whole of the upstairs to be approved - just one room. I hope this is soon resolved for you.

An update - took him over there this morning for the 'chat about what to do' that she wanted, and she's now saying that she's not going to give up on him, that lots of her current mindees were difficult to settle as babies, but now are very happy.

I said that I thought a lot of the problem was his naps, and suggested he takes his blanket and stuff with him in the pushchair when they go out in the morning to help him sleep.

I just wonder if it does him damage to cry so much. I've always been against controlled crying, and all that, so don't want this to undo all my efforts!

Your son sounds a lot like mine was at that age. I was in a better position though in that I knew my son wasn't a buggy sleeper when I chose my childminder so any childminder that didn't have a separate sleep area in a dark room was ruled out.

So although my childminder did go out in the morning, he always had a good nap in the afternoon when they were at home.

What time do they go out? When my son started he was having a morning and afternoon nap of at least 1.5 hours each at home. My childminder used to get round this by putting him down for a short nap straight after breakfast (8.30 or 9am ish). He's sleep for about 45 minutes and then they'd go off the groups (which usually started at 9.30 and they'd be a bit late). Then he'd have a longer sleep in the afternoon.

Would this be possible? I was lucky in that my childminder didn't have any school run to do when my son first started and by the time she did, he was down to one afternoon nap a day. If your childminder has a school run to do, this wouldn't work.

I agree with you that tiredness is likely to be a big factor in why he is crying. My son was a nightmare if he was tired but fine when he wasn't. In fact my childminder said to me "I've learnt not to mess with his naps".

Millenium I didn't know that a room has to be approved and registered by Ofsted before letting children sleep there, or is it only if it's an upstairs one? When I had my registration inspection we were living in a ground floor flat and the bedroom was next door to the lounge which also doubled as the playroom - the inspector didn't bat an eyelid at any of this, or for that matter even ask WHERE the children would be sleeping - she basically just looked at each room in the flat and pointed out any safety issues. But perhaps she just presumed that naps would be in the adjacent bedroom.

I am fortunate enough now to be living in a larger house and we have a small office off the hall where I've set up a travel cot for naps - if we didn't have this it would be in an upstairs bedroom (when we moved here in September no change of premises inspection was made, I was just issued a new certificate after I sent a letter).

Haven't read the whole thread, just the last post. You DON'T have to have permission for them to nap in any room, just some people are told only downstairs can be registered or only certain rooms, some aren't allowed their gardens registered etc. My registration is clear that my whole house is used for childminding. What I do with each room is up to me (as long as safe etc).

I put DS with a cm when I went back to work and he was nine months old. He was ok to start with but after a few weeks he started to scream when I left and the cm ended up having to hold him all day to calm him.

We persevered until he was 14 months but he was so unhappy I registered him in a local nursery. The day I took him for his first settling in visit, he crawled away from me and started playing. I burst into tears (saddo) because I expected him to be attached to me.

We've never looked back. When he was in the baby room he slept in a separate room (and slept well). He eats well and has come on in leaps and bounds with all his core skills. He's now 2.3 and counted to ten last night

So for us, changing from cm to nursery worked but they're all different.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide but please don't rule nursery out without investigating. I wanted ds to be looked after in a home environment but it just didn't suit him. He's thriving in nursery so I'm glad I made the change.