CM Club: feeding children

[Numberfour]

I have asked on here before how other CMs deal with food with fussy eaters etc, and generally the opinion seems to be that aside from cultural or allergy requirements, the children do not have a choice. And I certainly agree - though it seems, too, that no one would force a child to eat anything that they REALLY detested.

However: I am curious about what other CMs do if the child does not like what is served (purely out of fussiness) and then decides not to eat, with the result that the child goes home hungry. How do you deal with that?

I have one rather fussy child who ALWAYS tells her mum she is hungry when she is collected and it makes me feel awful.

When I childminded I had two siblings who were exremely fussy eaters. All children who started with me I would fill in a sheet of every food item they would eat, and would always make sure there was at least one food on their plate that they would eat. I would explain this to parents that they would always have something in their tummies (e.g. not starving) but that I wouldn't cook several different meals every day.

This seemed to work well and often I would find I could add things to their food lists.

It's hard isn't it

Does the child come with their food from parents or do you do the meals?

I would be inclined to offer fruit/breadsticks/cubes of cheese/cucmber slices alongside the meal

Or up the amount of snacks?

Second breakfast, for eg, is v popular here, after the school run - buttered toast, cereals, bagel, porridge, that kind of thing

Numberfour, have you spoken with the mum about it? Is she supportive of you? If mindee is 'telling on you' to mum and mum is sympathetic to her child that leaves you feeling very unsupported by the parent and a little unsure of yourself, whereas if parent says 'well I'm sure numberfour isn't starving you and you have been offered food' it leave you feeling supported and mindee knows you and her mum are working together.

I send a weekly menu out to parents the weekend before the week it will be served, if there is anything on there that they don't think their child will eat or they don't want them to have then they tell me before I go shopping, if they don't then that's what's offered and I tell child parent says that's what they're to eat, parent then backs me up and says basically tough, that's what's on offer, eat it or don't but there's no alternative.

Very rarely have a feeding issue these days, apart from if child is unwell or tinies are teething.

Thanks, aSilver, BALD and LisaD.

To reply in general: I have pretty good relationships with all my parents, some obviously better than others. Regarding the little one (well, 5 yr old), I have had her with me for years and she appears to have become more fussy as the years pass. Her mum is well aware of her fussiness and is very supportive, and certainly would not think that I am not feeding her!

I find it frustrating that, knowing the child likes for example cheese, yogurt and pita bread, I provide this. However, she does not like today's cheese (ordinary mild cheddar) or yogurt (munch bunch) or pita bread (wholemeal). So I ensure that I provide the things she likes, but then brand fussiness rears its head!!! And that I am not prepared to pander to.

I provide all food and either have a written or mental note of what all my children like when I shop (be it online or in store). And I often ask them specifically what they would like. So it is not as if I am providing completely unlikeable stuff!

Not sure that I can do much more, though I do like the idea that you have, Lisa, of providing a copy of the menu to parents the week before. Not sure I have it in my bones to be that organised, though!

Thanks again for the advice and support.

I also ask the children what the like and of course I provide a variety of things at each meal, but it does seem to be the same thing over and over: sandwiches, pasta (often with NOTHING on it!), cucumber, red pepper, etc.

ah well that kinmd of fussiness is not really on is it

At least you know that the parents are aware that you are offering staples that she sometimes refuses

Plod on, chin up x x x

I agree with Boysarelikedogs, that kind of fussiness should just be bright and breezily ignored. I have had all sorts of food related comments from mindees, one said she only drank robinsons and ate heinz ketchup for example - funny thing was she had been with me months before saying this and I had never once given her robinsons or heinz and she had known no different! I always buy brown/wholemeal bread and find children will eat it eventually when they reaise that is all I buy.

My DS is very fussy but I will not let him fuss about types/brands of the foods I know he will eat, life is difficult enough!

Good that you get on pretty well with all of the parents. Keep on doing what you are doing.

FWIW, my CM has been known to do several different teas to cater for different children's likes/dislikes. When she told me this i told her that she should just offer one option and have told DS that he either eats what she provides or goes hungry, she should not have to cater just for him.

Numberfour: would you like an email copy of my menu and you can just adapt it?

Happy to send it to you.

thanks, Lisa! yes please: - email address is judithmarypeck at hotmail dot com.

Elliepac, i have done the same on the odd occasion and some of my mums have given me the same input as you had!

and thanks, aSilver.

Have emailed you Numberfour :-)

tx