Not sure what type of help I need....

[Mushki]

Expecting second db in September. As I had post natal depression with my first, I would like to hire someone to come in every day for the first month or so to help out, so that I can recover properly....is this a doula, or a maternity nurse? Or a mothers helper? Please help am not familiar with all this. Thanks!

I think any of those could do - a maternity nurse will only deal with the baby, and can help get the baby into a good routine. They will also do overnight if you want. A post-natal doula would be more focussed on you too I think, and could do a bit more general helping around the house. A temporary mother's help would do a bit of both - helping with the baby and any older children, housework - though it may be a bit harder to find one just for a month.

Thank you, that's very helpful! Can you recommend any agencies where I could find someone?

Try www.doula.org.uk to find post-natal doulas.

Where are you based? Local nanny agencies will probably be able to find you a temp mother's help, or a maternity nurse. Otherwise I know Maternally Yours place live-out maternity nurses in London.

What do you want from your help? The 3 jobs are very different so if you tell us what you want, we can tell you what you might like to consider.

Do you want help with the baby or with the house?
Do you want help at night-time?

Also what's your budget? A MN is very expensive and a doula would also be pretty expensive every day for a month! Mothers helps are cheaper but as Missus said - difficult to find one for a month. Would you maybe consider a trainee MN?

Maternity nurses and doulas have one biiiig advantage for you - they're self employed so you don't need to faff around with taxes. They're also likely to be experienced or trained to deal with PND and know strategies to prevent it.

A mother's help may be a lot of effort for you. If I were in your sitation I wouldn't want to be managing etc - I'd probably spend the money on targeted support where I needed it (a doula for a few hours a day? a maternity nurse for a couple of weeks? a night nanny doing 3 nights a week for a month?) and a good cleaner.

Congratulations for thinking ahead.

My advice would be to spread your cash, so you don't have having lots and lots of help all in the first month, and then it falls off a cliff and you are getting no help after that. I'd probably look for someone to come in every other day in the beginning, say, and then twice a week after that to give me a rest.

A maternity nurse is not necessarily expensive as a flat rate is normally charged for 24 hours. A night nanny could possibly cost the same as an hourly rate could be £10 upwards.

I'm a maternity nurse and though yes normally I am only there to look after baby I also make sure mum is well looked after too.

Thanks everyone for the very helpful responses!! I am not looking for help at night, and ideally would like someone who does stuff in the house as well. So it seems like a post natal doula is the way to go. Does anyone know what they charge -- is it hourly or an all in fee?

Your query made me look on the internet about post-natal doulas, and it looked like they were mostly quoting £15 to £20 an hour. Not an all in fee because folk want such different packages.

I know of a post natal doula in my area and she charges £10 per hour, so I soppose it will vary on area and experience.

Probably yes. I was looking in London.

If the PN doula seems outrageously expensive, I would go for a Mother's Help. They are cheaper and will do a bit of everything.

S/he can do housework for you or look after either child, just be there to help you out generally.