What can I expect a mothers help to do?

[saltyseadog]

I'm looking to have a mothers help for a few months to help with my daughter after school (I also have a newborn) once our lovely nanny leaves at the end of the month.

The mothers help wouldn't be in sole charge, but I would want help with cooking, putting the laundry on, playing with dd (dd has profound cerebral palsy so needs a lot of assistance)/ ds whilst maybe (!!) I am able to get on with other chores. Is this asking too much (AIBU)?

Also, where's the best place to advertise? Any suggestions as to what to put in the ad? Sorry - my brain is dead from sleep deprivation so even writing a simple ad seems beyond me!

Folding and putting away baby's laundry
Making tea!

hate tea - can it be coffee instead ?

that sounds fine
i worked as a mothers help for 8 years for a family and I did all sorts
when i first started it was mainly some light housework, cooking, helping give the children their tea, putting clothes away, giving kids their baths etc etc

A mothers help tends to be like a trainee nanny. A younger girl with less experience and no qualifications. As you said, she shouldn't have sole charge of young children and can be expected to carry out nursery duties - cooking, cleaning, laundry and ironing for the children as well as playing and interacting with them.

She shouldn't be expected to do your cooking, cleaning and laundry - sorry of that seems obvious but you'd be amazed!

Is this a live in or daily post? Do you require them to driver? What hours do you need? What are you looking to pay and is it net or gross?

You can out an ad in The Lady magazine, try Gumtree, contact your local NNEB college to see if they have anyone looking for experience maybe.

As for the ad I would keep it short and simple say:

Live-in/Daily temporary Mothers Help required for 2 children aged and . DD1 has profound cerebral palsy. May 0 September, Mon- Fri, 8am - 6pm. Driver (not) required. £*net/gross per week

mothers helps can do cooking and family laundry. just what ever you agree on.

nannyjob.co.uk and also greataupair.com (for a foreign girl or there is a few british ones too)

I would also say mothers helps can fo family cooking and laundry. You can get lovely older ladies who have no children left at home willing to do MHs jobs and they'll do virtually anything you do.

Or a MH can be a stepping stone to being a nanny for someone with limited quals or experience, perhaps an experienced au pair who wants a more full on job. Your job is a heaven sent opportunity - SN and NB exp in one package! You may get very hood candidates willing to take a drop in wage/ increase in duties to get that exp.

MHs will do more housework than nannies who as you know will focus only on the children. They shouldn't be expected to do heavy cleaning and some will be honest and say they don't iron/cook/whatever but you'll be able to find a good compromise. I think the most important thing is attitude for a MH - they should be willing to muck in.

I think blinkin is thinking of a maternity nanny who won't do things whch aren't to do with the baby.

A mother's help can be expected to do anything a mother would do, but alongside the mother rather than in sole charge of children. Laundry, cooking, hoovering and dusting is all part of that, along with entertaining the children.

Thanks everyone - you've been a great help.

Will be back later - ds is demanding a feed! In the meantime has anyone got any ideas on pay? We're in the south (but not home counties).

I'd say £6 to £8 gross an hour depending on experience, quals etc.

i've always had mothers helps (have had 4 now over last 6 years) and am a SAHM. i always look for a young girl who has some experience with children (not necessarily qualified) and i get them through a nanny agency. i have also used Gumtree. Someone recently told me that another good way to find one is to ring around the nanny colleges in your area because they will help you get a girl straight out of college who needs a first post. My girls do anything which is related to the children (cooking, tidying, playing, park visits, school run, laundry, little jobs like organising toys and clothes cupboards). i think it really helps if you write them a very clear list of duties - sound obvious but i had one girl who was rubbish at doing anything other than playing with the children (so i was doing all the domestic work while she enjoyed my children - bit annoying!). since that experience i make it REALLY clear that she's there to help me with the general drudgery of children as well as to have fun. I pay £7.40/hour after tax and have never had any problem finding one. After doing a year with me they generally go on to a sole charge position, so it's a good 'training' job for them. frankiinuts if right - you shoudl get a good one because there'll be a new baby. my advice is to be really picky because you'll be with them a lot and their help/attitude makes so much difference.

Thanks again - this is all really useful.

Are you responsible, as their employer, for paying their tax for them in the same way as a nanny? Or are they responsible for sorting this out themselves?

Did you have a contract with them in the same way as with a nanny, or is it more ad hoc?

Sorry - I am sounding completely clueless! Having had the same nanny for 4.5 years I've got really used to contracts, using Nannypaye etc. and this is all new.

Same as having a nanny - tax, NI, contracts etc. Unless they're very part time and you're paying under about £100 a week, in which case I think you don't have to register as an employer.

Hi, I worked for this lot

SNAP childcare

and found them really excellent. Not sure about the rest!

There's lots of great advice on here already and not much more I could add but I have my first mother's help starting with me tomorrow !

I used Gumtree and Netmums to advertise, very similar ad to NeedANewName's eg and had around 20 replies between the two. Some a bit bizarre tbh but had replies from younger, less experienced girls, well qualified nursery nurses, very experienced older ladies and several mums with lots of experience. So had lots to choose from when interviewing! Didn't specify qualifications as I wasn't too worried about whether she had formal qualifications but I did seem to prefer the girls that had them over experienced mums - maybe a coincidence?

I want someone to generally muck in and take the pressure off me with youngest 2 dc - Autistic ds2 and baby dd1. Sometimes her playing with them so I can get on, sometimes her doing the getting on with housework so I can play, but more often going out together with dc which can be very challenging alone!

I'm paying £6 ph to a non driver but local 20 yo- she replied to add on gumtree, is level 2 qualified, not massively experienced but appears to have lots of common sense and be willing to muck in. Am v v nervous about tomorrow! Haven't even planned what we're doing, thought we might stay at home for her to get to know dc etc, maybe a trip to park.

GaribaldiGirl - I like the idea of a list, I guess it would keep everything clear

Sorry, hijaked a bit there.....good luck SaltySeaDog!

Exactly the same as a nanny. Think of them as a shared care nanny who will do extra housework!

Yes you def are responsible for tax and insurance. Will need to pay for holidays and sickness and maternity pay if necessary.

Good luck