Who would you choose? aupair decision.

[Totallyfloaty35]

Ok narrowed it down to 2girls.Help me choose please,
Italian 23yrs, Good English. Has worked in summer camps for 3 summers, plays guitar( dd1 is learning) has crb check.
She can cook,is independant and chatty( spent more time on phone with her and we got on well.
French 21yrs, English pretty good but not as good as other girl (however dd1 and 2 both learning French)
Can cook, is very sweet but was a little harder work on the phone(shyer).
She has BAFA certificate,5summercamp references and a very good babysitting reference ,looked after 3kids of differing ages 1-10yrs.
Both can do dates required and are very eager, we are exchanging emails several times a week.
Cant decide between them.Kids liked both of them on the phone.

hmm i not sure they both sound fab, all i'll say is dont let the shyness put you offf, im terrbile on the phone but great in person :D

The French girl.

Sorry age wrong! French girl is 20 on 21st of next month
Interesting Fab,why the French girl?
French girl also lives away from home to study and Italian girl also has references.
DH is saying Italian girl,but he cant really get the thought of decent pasta out of his head

What was your gut feeling when you read I had suggested her?

I thought aww the sweet one , but have had DH lobbying for the Italian girl all wkend,mainly cause he likes 'loud' people and pasta.
Im finding it harder as i like different things about them and have had a lovely French girl and a Fab Italian aupair before(would actually like them both) . Might phone them again for another chat,it might help

The person who will spend more time with the au pair should have the final say imo.

How old are your children? If they are quite little, I would say, choose the one with the better English as little children become frustrated easily if they are not understood.
They both seem independent, in that they have lived away from home- you don't want an au pair to be unhappy and homesick!
Otherwise, it's a decision based on their personality and whether you prefer someone very chatty or not!

Have you verbally checked their refs?

French girl has babysitting which is a plus as she's used to balancing different aged children on her own. Home based childcare is quite lonely work compared to summer camps. I would also hazard a guess that her English is better than she comes across as having - confident people are often perceived as having better language skills because they're more willing to give it a go.

If you need a driver the Italian as indurace will be cheaper! Plus chatty children will prefer a chatty au pair - you know your DCs, what will they prefer?

Call them back for a chat.

Not checked the refs verbally yet,my previous italian and French aupairs are going to do it for me.
Dont need a driver and dds are 15,12 and 3yrs old.They all talk non stop too so we need someone who can make themselves heard.
I like that she has babysitting experience.The Italian has only done summer camp work,looked after a younger sibling(7 yrs younger) and the only one-one she does is the odd bit of private tuition.
Would you say though that confident people find it easier to just get on with it/settle in?
Last 2 aupairs i had cried all the time and went home after 3 days, so im feeling a little unsure of my choices these days

From personal experience I wouldnt go for a 'loud' au pair. After a while it will drive you nuts. I have just finished 6 months of a very loud SPanish au pair and she drove me insane. On the contrary last year we had a very quiet Spanish au pair who was absolutely wonderful,both with the kids, housework and to live with generally.

Why are your au pairs checking the references? Bad idea imo.

Im ok with Loud,had several loud girls.
Aupairs are now family friends,known both of them for 5yrs and we still visit each other,they have a list of questions to ask.They also both very sensible,one of them is a Dr of Nuclear something or other and the other has worked in HR,but more importantly they love the kids and wouldnt want any loopers looking after them

no contest, the italian. she's older and you know for a fact that she's spent three summers away from home. you want somebody in your house who won't be tiptoeing around you making you all feel nervous.

How long do you need them for?

Do they have any hobbies that would mesh well, other than the guitar? Does the Fench girl have any siblings?

Can you fly them over for a weekend each? It sounds like a really tough choice but a hood tough choice!

The French girl has probably spent summers away home too - isn't she a qualified animatrice? Assume that's what you meant by the BAFA.

I am veering towards Italian.

But that could be because I had a bad experience with a French one - she too had summer camp experience. But her sweetness translated at close quarters into no personality and she did not really play with the dcs or interact with us.

If you can do loud, loud is good for your dcs who are older and need someone with more personality to jolly and humour them. Younger children are more forgiving, but not children of your dcs' age.

If homesickness was a problem previously, some questions I would ask is whether they have lived away from home before, whether they have a boyfriend in their home country.

Can you check the Italian girl's references over the phone ie are they English-speaking and know her well enough to speak of her?

Better English is always good. Cannot go wrong there. My previous French one did not have the confidence or inclination to speak to us so her English never really improved.

Confidence is also a good aupair trait. Helps them to make the most of their experience. Happy aupair = aupair who stays.

Oh thankyou all,lots more things for me to consider!
Yes French girl has worked away from home and also studies in a different town,so away from home all term.
Hobbies....well the Italian has loads in common with my eldest but the French girl has more in common with DD2.
Its so difficult.Im speaking to them both again tomorrow.
They are just for the summer,i find summer girls are usually so much more experienced and have better English levels.
I will say the French girl has been much more pro active about getting her Refs to me although the Italian girl has sent most of hers out to.

Italian for sure! We've just waved a relieved goodbye to our French AP who was really poor at interacting with DD; she was a little quiet on Skype when we interviewed her, and I assumed she'd come out of her shell when she'd been with us a while. In fact, quiet due to shyness soon became quiet due to surliness, so I would advise you to take them at face value and not assume that they'll change once they're with you.

Good luck!!

You may have done this already but I would ask some situational questions such as - you have the kids for the day, I give you enough money to cover a few snack and drinks and admission to something not to expensive - what would you do and where would you take them. You could even have them plan an itinerary for the first week and specify that every day is different..

It would be a good test of initiative.

Maybe also ask a friend to speak to each one on teh phone without showing them first about their background/experience. Get their gut reaction from the phone call.

Well i booked the French Girl,checked her out and all good,ahe sent me her crb check and has even offered me extra references from other families she sits for.Heres hoping she is a good one and actually turns up, the drop out rate on aupair sites is astounding.