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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

AIBU to not want to babysit 10yr and 12 yr old girls?

26 replies

nannynick · 03/04/2010 11:26

Is it unreasonable for me to refuse to babysit for a family who has 10yr and 12yr old girls?

I specialise in caring for babies and toddlers, though I do care for some older children.

In the past I have taken on families with just older children but I have decided recently to stop doing that... mainly due to it being a lot harder work quite frankly.

If the children were boys, I wouldn't take them on either.

AIBU?

OP posts:

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Lulumaam · 03/04/2010 11:30

if you don't want to and can afford to turn down work, the YANBU

msrisotto · 03/04/2010 11:31

You can take on whatever work you want! YANBU.

poppy34 · 03/04/2010 11:31

Nope- ESP as it's a waste of your expertise

Mtorun · 03/04/2010 11:41

I wouldnt babysit for older kids either. The max. age is 8. Unless I know them and know that they would listen to me.

Do whatever you feel comfortable.

LisaD1 · 03/04/2010 11:43

Nope, YANBU, more hassle than it's worth at that age (speaking as the mother of a 10yr old!)

Original poster

nannynick · 03/04/2010 11:48

Good to hear that from the replies so far, you all agree with me... that I am Not being unreasonable.

I do feel sorry for parents with older children... must be hard to find someone.

OP posts:

Original poster

nannynick · 03/04/2010 11:50

I also wonder if it is appropriate for a bloke to care for a pre-teen girls. Once a girl reaches puberty... would they really want to be cared for by a bloke?

OP posts:

coldtits · 03/04/2010 11:52

Although I'm not a professional child carere, we all have ages we feel comfortable with.

I like under 2's and over 9s. i find the ages in between very difficult (my children's ages, currently!)

So no, YANBU to have a comfort zone or to not want to step out of it.

CarGirl · 03/04/2010 11:54

nannynick as a parent of all girls whilst I wouldn't have a problem trusting you with my oldest girl I wouldn't to inflict you with her IYSIM, she would probably stay up all evening driving you insane with chatter!

Rangemaster · 03/04/2010 13:08

If the children are ill behaved teengers then that is not fun, however looking after children of that age if have good manners etc are a joy. I regulary look after children of that age and it is fun and stimulating for myself and the children. However it you chose not to look after that age because you dont want to then you are NOT being unreasable. It is your choice.

Laquitar · 03/04/2010 14:03

The ones i know (nieces, Godchildren etc) at this age are lovely and easier than mine who are younger.
But YANBU to refuse, it is actually decent to be honest to yourself and to the parents.

HarrietTheSpy · 04/04/2010 11:55

I had a male sitter from time to time at that age. I thought it was great. He was impressed I had heard of the Cars! I think he was about 19.

Out of interest - why do you find it so much harder? Don't they mostly entertain themselves....(or was that just how my sitter behaved???)

Original poster

nannynick · 04/04/2010 12:42

The ones I have had in the past have not been great at entertaining themselves, some are difficult about going to bed, also some parents expect more of a collection service - pick them up from x drive them home.
Babies and toddlers are easier I find. I cope well with a stroppy toddler, not so great with a stroppy 12yr old.

OP posts:

Tanith · 04/04/2010 13:32

I once did a babysitting job for 2 kids around this age only to find that the mother was having 4 others to stay for a sleepover! The parents went out for the evening and left me to cope.
They were awful! They really played me up and it took me all my time to get them to bed and to stay there. I ended up spending the whole evening until the parents came back (long after midnight) standing outside their rooms to keep an eye on what they were up to.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/04/2010 14:14

Yanbu as you can decide what work to do

but I like older ones if during the day. I have 2 dusters that I take out&we go to f&b/cinema/skating/shopping etc and is good fun

I also have a boy of 13 that I gave cared for 5 years and we go to football and paint gun places

but day time is fun. Not sure I would want them in the evening

Greensleeves · 04/04/2010 14:16

YANBU of course, to have preferences and to choose which jobs you accept

but I find it odd that you bring up the appropriateness of a man looking after preteen girls - preteen girls have fathers, uncles, male teachers etc - why is it less appropriate for a man to care for them? It bothers me that you mention this, for some reason.

cat64 · 04/04/2010 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

nannynick · 04/04/2010 14:37

Having been doing babysitting for 20 years, the fact I'm male has affected things... these days parents are more willing to consider it.
I need to keep child protection issues in mind though, last thing I would want is an allagation made.

OP posts:

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 04/04/2010 14:38

YANBU - you are self employed. It's up to you what work you take on. And you prefer younger kids, fair enough. Teens are hard work indeed

However, you mention the girls thing - It's a sad world though if even part of your decision is made with a view to protecting yourself from potential accusations. It's sad that you even have to think about this. However, I can understand why, when we live in a world where a man is viewed with suspicion if he so much as takes a walk through a park (yes, I have seen such a thread on here, as it happens)

Greensleeves · 04/04/2010 14:42

I'm not casting aspersions on you nannynick, I just think it's sad that you have to think like that

my dad won't go swimming any more because thewre are scantily clad young girls there

Original poster

nannynick · 04/04/2010 15:01

Years ago I wouldn't get much work at all, as back then men just didn't look after children. Even remember turning up at a home to be turned away at the door - even though they had spoken to me, still thought I was female.
Things have changed over the years, now it's more about protecting myself... It's wrong really but a middleage man being seen with a young teen girl who is not their own daughter, is regarded with suspicion.
What is the world coming to when grandparents can't take grandchildren swimming - that is bad but I can see why grandfather would be hesitant about doing it. Or did you mean he won't go swimming al all because there are girls at the pool?

OP posts:

Tanith · 04/04/2010 15:05

I'm afraid that's true, nannynick. When I did work for Sitters, my DH tried applying, too.
They said they didn't want to waste his time. They doubted very much he'd get any work at all because he was a man.

posieparker · 04/04/2010 15:06

It's not hard to find someone who doesn't want to change nappies!! Don't worry!

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/04/2010 15:33

Pmsl at dusters. Spell check made sisters into dusters

Original poster

nannynick · 04/04/2010 15:40

I was wondering what you did with the dusters whilst you were out.

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