Advice to find CM, 3rd time round

[CookieDoughIcecream]

I have just been asked to find a new CM for DS, 19mths, as he is not managing to settle after 3 months and is upsetting the other children. This is the second time this has happened so I am looking for some advice on how to pick the next CM.

The first CM looked after up to 6 young children and had older children before and after school. The current CM has 9 young children. DS appears to find it difficult with so many others around him so I thought I would look for someone working on their own, so few children.

Does anyone have any tips for finding the best CM for DS and for helping him settle more easily? I have been using the DirectGov website but do not find it easy to use as I can only get a list of names with no details

Maybe have a look on www.childcare.co.uk and put in your postcode. Then you could look for a newly registered CM.
Good luck with your search.

The direct.gov website has gremlins shall we say politely.

have you asked for a list of minders from FIS, checked childcare.co.uk or even www.childmindingforum.co.uk

Sounds like you need a childminder who is not overly busy with children so that she can devote some time in getting your son settled.

some children take AGES to settle in somewhere and I think you would do right to explain your previous situations to potential minders and ask them what their policy is about hard to settle children and how they settle the child.
If they are immediately 'put off' then they are not the right minder for you or your child. guage what they are saying.

see if you can get some pre-settling sessions - this may involve some time out of your schedule but a good minder will work with you as long as needed to get your child settled.

can you leave something of yours at the minders - a jumper so the smell is familiar or a set of keys so the minder can say - oh dear silly mummy left her keys here - she'll have to get them later when she comes back for you. As daft as it sounds you may have to be forgetful for a while and sometimes children are more ready to believe that you will come back for your keys but you may not remember to come back for them - iyswim.

I don't mean this to be harsh but children can become wonderfully manipulative (not maliciously) and quickly 'click on' that if I create enough fuss everyone caves in around me and I have got mummy. There may have to be some firm and gentle but (tough) loves going on.

Hope some of that helps

xx

Thanks for you responses. i will check out the recommended websites.

I know what you mean about their ability to manipulate etc but both CM's have found he is better on days when there are less children about.

To me it sounds like your problem is obvious - ask the CMs how many children they mind and choose one that has less kids! (or get a nanny!)

cookiedough I second looking for a newly registered cm.
Whereabouts are you?

hi im newly registered and am in richmond surrey i only have my 2 children so if i can be of any service please send me a msg
laura

what area are you in?

I am in gloucestershire, so thank you for your offer of help mummyquilliam but a little far to commute!
We are visiting a newly registered cm on thursday so fingers crossed. She knows a little about DS's background so I will talk to her about ideas to help settle him too

Glad you've got someone sorted, cookiedough. A newly registered cm will hopefully have more time to settle him before she gets really busy and he'll just get used to the environment and her and adding more kids gradually to the situation.

Thursday went really well, he made himself at home straight away, so we are going back next week just to make sure. Fingers crossed we get on as well.

Well done, cookiedough! So glad that worked out. It feels so nice when it feels right, doesn't it?