Help! Have a 12 year old - advice needed

[alisara]

Hi all

This is my first time posting but i am in an awful mess. I have a 12 year old who is about to start secondary school in September - i live in northern ireland. She is really independent. I work part time in a jobshare - sometimes i am in all week.

My mother dropped a bombshell (i currently live with her) to say that she is moving to another town, and so my dd and i will have no childcare shortly - I just do not know what to do regarding childcare especially as my dd can hardly go to nursery at her age and the after schools clubs are full in my area and dont take 12 year olds either.

My dd is ok after school - i think! to let herself in and put on the telly and eat something until i get back, but i am so worried about the summer holidays.

Can anyone advise?

Maybe consider a childcare student either at college or university who would be willing to do a couple of hrs in the eve for 6mths say til you are happy she will be ok and also plenty of childcare students looking for work in the school holidays. For a college student aged 16-17yrs you would be looking to pay around £4 an hr (would pay a min of £10 per eve for after school) and for a uni student aged 18-21yrs you would need to pay £5-£6 an hr (would pay a min of £15 per eve after school).

Thank you that is a good idea! I hope everyone keeps them coming, she doesnt need childminding as such, just company really especially in the summer holidays, has anyone else been in this situation?

bump

In the holidays you may find a childminder who has an older child, but if they don't get one, it wouldn't work. The student idea sounds good. You can also get aupairs for the summer holidays, but they are not always great.

In the holidays my children love going to the local leisure centre to do sports activities, I pay about £15 per day.

When I was at college I looked after an 11 year old girl after school.
It was really just to keep her company, make sure that she ate something and to help with homework.
I helped for most days in the summer too because I was also on holiday. We went on day trips, watched films, went to the park, swimming, played on the trampoline, listened to music etc. I was 17 at the time. I also did a few overnight stays when the mum had to go away for work.
I'm still friends with the girl now. It was a great job.
Some days in the holiday the girl went to activities at the sports centre or drama club and I either didn't work that day or I picked her up from the activities.
I was paid £5ph and £60 if I stayed overnight (7pm - 7am).

The student doesn't necessarily have to be a childcare student, just someone with a bit of sense. The most important thing is that your dd and the carer get on well together. The relationship will be more friendship than child and carer but you need to find someone who is comfortable with taking charge when needs be.

hi, i'm in ni too and have had kids in the past when they were 12, although i have had them from they were younger. most came after school in 1st yr and in the holidays for 1st and 2nd yr but by 3rd yr they wanted to stay home in the summer. they can still phone me if they're stuck or something is wrong. how far away is your mum moving? could your dd not go to hers in the summer?

what about a babbysitter?h

Thanks everyone for your answers and help. My life is so up in the air at the moment.

I am living in my mothers home for the past 18 months and it is a housing executive house in a good area of belfast and she is transferring to the country.

This leaves my daughter and i in effect homeless (i have been on the executive list for years and all they offer is bad areas) so i am now having to look at private rentals which is a nightmare and try to find childcare for my daughter and worry about losing my job as without that where am i. I am so worried at the moment and never had to use childcare, yes i am lucky in that respect but at the moment i dont know where to turn.

I dont know when i will need childcare - my mum is in the process of choosing houses in the country, as everyone wants hers and it is just a matter of time.

Again thanks so much for all the ideas!

have a look on here for cm's in your area. www.nicma.org/cms/find-a-childminder either that or call social services for a list as some might not be on nicma's list as they are insured with someone else.

good luck!

thank you nicm!