AIBU asking 5 & 7y/o to tidy before leaving?

[lollipopmother]

I have two new mindees (siblings) and the absolutely ransack the place, they come in the morning for only an hour but my house looks like a bomb has gone off and I'm not exagerating. Today (day 3) I told them when they came in that I had banned the TV as there had been arguments the day before and that is not acceptable. So I said they had to go and play instead but Jesus, the mess! Anyway, I asked them to push all the toys to the end of the room 5mins before they were due to go to school and they just couldn't get their heads round it, it was as if they've never been asked to tidy up before, I wasn't even asking them to put things away, just to make some floor space.

So, am I being unreasonable asking for this?

I think I'm not, but it's 7am when they get here so maybe I'm being agro?

it's not an AIBU more of a managment type of question

They can get toys out but must put away those already played with first

Now how to do this?

I would start small - take out all but 2 boxes of toys depending on the children's likes and dislikes, stack them somewhere out of sight and out of mind (garage/understairs/in the spare bedroom )and practice this with the children until they 'get it' then you can reintroduce more choice as they adjust to you. Remeber that they are new to your setting and part of it might be utter and total excitement at all your lovely resources, yes??
Lots of praise and encouragement, make it a race, a game, use a timer or beeper to give an audible signal for general tidyup time well before you have to do the school run.

do you have House Rules? you might think about reviewing them and re-laminating display etc

They will have to help tidy up at school so they will know what it means!

Could you have a rota - lego and something else out on a Monday, cars and something on Tuesday etc. Then if their 'tidying' wasn't all that, at least it would be manageable. Also make sure you start tidy-up time in good time as BALD says. Good luck!

I used to look after a couple of 'schoolies' like this. The only 2 I have ever had trouble with. All the others played with one thing at a time and understood that there would be little ones playing there the rest of the day. Finally found the solution with my 2 manic children - they loved anything to do with glue, so I could confine them to a table with sticking 'stuff' til we went to school. After school they played in the garden most of the time. It did take me a while to find the right distraction for them though ... not much help to you.

I allow the children I care for to play with any toys they like, but not all at once. Otherwise my house looks like a bombs hit it and toys get broken and they end up tripping over them. 'You can't play with lots of toys at once' is my motto!

I think bald has got it - they are new to your setting, so all these lovely new toys and resources you have are exciting to them and they can't decide what to play with so get it all out!

I know when my two charges have had playdates that haven't been before, they are inclined to want to do a bit of everything, but once they have been a few times they are more likely to settle with one or two activities.

I like the idea of the rota suggested by hocus. I would get the activity out and ready to be played with and explain that 5 mins before time to leave everyone will have to tidy up.

And maybe involve them in setting up the rota of which toy and which day, so that they feel they have had a bit of a say in it. While you are discussing the rota you can talk about the rules of not getting too much out and tidying up behind themselves.

Thank you everyone for your ideas, I've found them very helpful. I'm just off to Ikea to get a storage solution as I have waaaaay too many toys and loads of them have to be in plain sight which I have never liked, so now is the time to change it!

Yesterday with the boys was actually really good and I was buzzing when they left. I took every single toy into the wendy house so there was nothing here when they came in - they were shocked which is what I wanted and I explained to them why they'd lost all the toys. All I provided were my two literacy sacks which have books and soft toys. So I read the books aloud (they weren't confident enough to read aloud to me) and we all messed around with the toys and our bodies etc to act out the stories.

Then the older boy asked if he could fly his paper airoplane that he'd made at school so I went with their interests and provided paper then said as they'd been good they could decorate them so I got the craft box in and they spent some time on that.

I still didn't get much clearing up from them but as someone already said, at least with only 2 activities there was minimal mess.

I understand all the above ideas but its not my way.. In my house all mindees help tidy up as soon as they understand the concept.. about 20 months onwards.

I dont toady round them, if they dont help tidy up then they sit on the naughty step(because they are being antisocial) and dont have any toys to play with until they do help.. I tell parents that is the rule and thats fine..

always works and we all have fun.. at 5 and 7 to not help tidy up and wreck your place is totally ridiculous and unnaceptable.. I find that kids understand very quickly what they can get away with in different houses and act accordingly.

kids like rules and to know where they stand..

I totally understand what you're saying, I'm the same really, I've been really hard on the boys with regards to certain rules and tbh they've been much better for knowing I'm not a push over. I do think that we'd be better having just a couple of activities to start with and then maybe if they become more controlled then I can extend the amount of chioce.

The Body - Do you do the naughty step for 7 year olds? I have never had to do any kind of discipline and tbh I don't think I'd have a chance in hell of getting either one of them to sit on anything they didn't want to and staying there would be out of the question too.

No thats true and 7 is a bit too old for that though I have done for 5 year old but the principal is the same.. if a child is behaving in an antisocial manner,i.e not obeying the rules of the setting then he or she doesnt participate in the activities or play of the setting.

I wouldnt have a child of 7 who doesnt toe the line in my house a second time.. after all it could lead to much more serious concequences such as running across the road. I terminated one after schooler who did that, Mum simply said that he did it with her all the time!!! mad!! and that was enough for me.. far too dangerous and I simply dont do disobedient children anyway.. far too much hassle. didnt put up with crap like that from my own kids and definatly not from other peoples.

In nurseries all children are expected to tidy up. It is an intergral part of the routine, from as soon as they can walk.
Can I suggest a tidy up song? When the song starts then the children will know that it is tidy up time. Also, give them plenty of warnings, and allow for plenty of time to tidy up. 5 minutes isn't really long enough. Also, look at what toys you have on offer. Lots of small bits that take ages to tidy up is not goo. Aim for something like books or stuff that hasn't got lots of bits.

yes thats true, I really started tidy up time to let the children know that parents would be coming soon to pick up and so give them a sense of time and routine in the setting.. as well as the actual act of tidying up and helping..

Maybe put labels on all your boxes with the name and photo of the thing that's supposed to be in it. They can just match then, it makes it much easier all round.