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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Childminder has a new partner

10 replies

bdgh · 11/03/2010 09:27

Hi,

Can anybody please give me some advice? My son is due to start with his childminder soon and when I signed up she was living with her partner of over 10 years but they split up a few months ago and he moved out.

She has a new partner and he seems to be at her house a lot during the day (I've popped in unannounced a couple of times and he has been there) and she seems to be more focussed on him than the children when I've been round.

I'm a bit uncomfortable about the situation as obviously I don't know who he is and how much contact he will have with my son but its difficult to discuss as he always seems to be there.

Should he be CRB checked?

The situation is stressing me out slightly and I'm now wondering if he would be better off in a nursery.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

OP posts:
Bumnoise · 11/03/2010 09:32

Anyone who is a regular visitor, such as a partner (do they live together yet?) should be CRBed yes. Don't assume the worst though!

Original poster
bdgh · 11/03/2010 09:36

I'm not sure I asked the first time I saw him there and she said not but that he stays over sometimes

OP posts:
Danthe4th · 11/03/2010 10:03

Why have you popped in unannounced?? Are you checking up on him or her, it sounds like you are just not happy with leaving your son.
It should not be difficult to discuss anything with her, this is your son and you have to be comfortable leaving him. Make an appointment to meet with her and discuss your concerns. Start off with an open relationship otherwise its not going to work. And ask to see both crb checks as he should have one if he is coming into contact on a regular basis, but if he is only popping round and staying overnight then probably not unless she is registered for overnight care.

Original poster
bdgh · 11/03/2010 10:10

Its nothing too sinister, she lives just round the corner and said to just keep popping in after Xmas so that my son gets used to seeing her before we do some "official" visits so to speak where I start leaving him to see how he gets on.

I'm still a bit confused if he needs a CRB check or not as he is there during the daytime (i've been afternoons both times) and when I asked if he lived there she said no but he stays over sometimes so I'm assuming he had been there all day. She has also told me that the other kids love him so I'm again assuming that he has had quite a bit of contact with them.

OP posts:
BradfordMum · 11/03/2010 11:02

He definately needs to be CRB checked.
I wouldn't be happy leaving my child there seeing as she seems more focussed on him than the kiddies, and YOU'RE a prospective customer!!

thebody · 11/03/2010 11:44

he has to be CRB checked if he is a regular visitor. Alarm bells are ringing for me now.. not about him but about her attitude to her business and you as a client.

I have 2 adult ds and a dh who are all sometimes here in the house and yes the
children love them., but I am the carer.

There presence is neither here or there during my working hours.. I dont have long conversations with them I am working!!! my focus is on the childrens needs and care hers should be on your sons.. why is he there at all during the working day? hasnt he got a job? I have public and private areas in my home during the day so upstairs is for my family and downstairs is for the mindees.

I dont like the sound of her, I am sorry, and she doesnt sound professional at all..

StepSideways · 11/03/2010 11:58

I would follow your instincts, for me personally seeing her not focussing properly on the children she is supposed to be caring for would have been strike 1, 2 and 3, I'd move to a different minder and politely as possible let her know why, and ensure she knows that he must be CRB checked.

My alarm bells are also ringing now..

PinkChick · 11/03/2010 12:26

i agree with TheBody!

Original poster
bdgh · 11/03/2010 13:06

Well i just got back and she seems more focussed today, he was there but upstairs - he hurt his hand a while ago and is looking for a job. she asked ofsted about getting him checked and they said she didn't need to unless he actually moved in but she said she might get it done anyway.

The kids she has all seem very happy with her.

I feel more reassured by my visit today and we are going to go weekly until I go to work so fingers crossed.

Thanks for the advice folks xx

OP posts:
Original poster
bdgh · 22/03/2010 15:44

Hi everyone

I just wanted to say thanks for all you advice on this - I went with my instincts (and my husbands) and we have cancelled the contract and arranged a nursery place.

Feel a lot happier now.

xx

OP posts:
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