What rules do you have for after-schoolers?

[lollipopmother]

I've gone from having no one after 2:30pm to suddenly having a load of after-schoolers. I've just taken on two boys today and think that the CMing relationship will benefit from the boys knowing that I have rules and that I mean for them to be adhered to.

What house rules do you have?

I was thinking:

• Shoes off in the house (my family does this so I'd expect same from mindees)
• No going into the bedrooms (no reason to + privacy)
• No getting down from table until everyone's finished

This is on top of the regular stuff like handwashing and being nice to eachother.

Any ideas?

Do you have tv rules - after schoolers are likely to want to watch a bit and chill out - do you need to explain any rules you have about this? Depending on how old they are will their parents want them to do a bit of homework?

Ah yes, I've checked about homework and it seems that no one has any and all mums are happy for kids to watch the TV as long as it's a kids channel.

Another rule is to help me lay the table and tidy away - reasonable?

Yes those seem reasonable. I would also come up with a rule about PC usage and set out ground rules for behaviour. The best way would be to sit down with them & discuss what you expect & ask them for their input. Then perhaps get them to draw up a chart you can display that reminds them all what is expected and what the consequences would be if the rules are broken.

It is recommended by some to only have about 5 rules on display - so although obviously I have 'rules' about shoes, helping clear away snacks etc, these are easily learnt and generally adhered to so I don't bother with writing them up. I find it more useful to have rules about behaviour displayed - I have 7 including "Use people's proper names", "Whispering together may not be kind", "Take part in things", and "Swap parts in pretend games". They are more subtle behaviours which can be disruptive and it's very useful to be able to refer them to the poster when these behaviours happen.
You will probably find some which work for you depending on the kind of children you have.

Great thank you, those are good tips. What sort of things do you use as 'consequences'? When I was young I would lose a privilage such as no pudding or telly etc but that's harder to implement in a CM setting I should think. Uhhg, I have no idea what I'll be like looking after older kids that need disipling, I hope I don't have to - all the other older kids I've looked after have been brilliant but that's only ever babysitting or after school in their own home, never my own - I feel a lot more possessive of my stuff than when I'm at theirs!

if you cat me i can send you my good behaviour guide, its got consequences listed so both children and parents know exactly what will happen.

When you have alot of schoolies (for some reason even more so if all girls) whispering can get very catty.

So we have a rule, if it cant be said aloud, then it cant be said at all.

Another one again mainly girls.

NO picking up babies and toddlers, I do find they like to be little mothers and will try and carry wriggly babies.

No balls in the house, no running, no jumping on furniture, no fighting.

atworknotworking could i possibly have your good behaviour guide? im new and still worting my setting out

lollipop mother - main thing really is to be firm from the start about rolling on the furniture, jumping and running in the house etc - what I say to them is "that's outdoors play" - it seems hard cos they're only being kids but when there's a few of them in a small house it's too much. I DO try to let them run around the playground a bit after school, and into the garden when possible. Also I find it helps to have quite a few things laid out for when they come back from school - even if they choose to do something else it seems to get them inspired to play. I don't use 'consequences' for the older ones except to talk to them. As you build up a relationship with them they should settle down. 'Divide and rule' is quite good too - e.g. it may be better if they don't all have their snack at the same time, or play at the same thing. Aim for them to help themselves to snack, and clear away afterwards so you don't exhaust yourself running after them.

Thank you all for your tips, I'm bricking it still but I feel I should be able to muddle by.

Atwork Thank you for the offer but I don't have CAT.