Need help settling in my 11 month old with CM

[Aleesmum]

Hi,

I have a 11 month old DS and have recently tried to settle him in with a CM. I started on Monday, went to her house stayed there for a bit, etc. Went on Tuesday and wednesday as well and had lunch on both days. Tried going out of the room for a bit but he would cry after a few min. On Wednesday afternoon I tried to go for a walk, but the CM rang me in 25 min as he got hysterical! I realise now that it might have been too early to leave him!

I went in with him today, didn't try to leave the room, but the CM encouraged him to follow her whenever she went out of the room. He did this a few times, went out of sight but after 5/6 min, usually remembered and came back to check on me.

I need to start work a week on Monday, so I have about 6 days left to settle him. Will this be enough? Should I apply for parental leave? And what can I do differently to help DS settle?

Please help, I am desperate and I don't know what to do!

Also he is BF and generally comes to me for a feed/when he wants to nap. He won't nap with anyone else if he knows I am in the house [sigh].

Often staying with them is just prolonging the inevitable!
Drop him off and say goodbye and GO.
I'm sure your cm has a lot of experience and she will have to cope!
He will settle, trust me!

Sally x x

Hi,
Thats a part of the problem, she is not that experienced. Has only been a CM for a year and hasn't had a mindee as young as DS before. She doesn't seem to be too keen to just have me drop him off and go, on the other hand she says it'll just take time for him to get used to her?

Maybe carry on visiting CM for short sessions until you start work, but don't try to leave him or go out of the room, so that he feels secure and can start enjoying it there. He may then be fine by the time you start work.

I know that this is a hard time for a parent leaving their child with someone but the earlier poster is right and it would probably be easier all round if you leave your cm to it and let her and the baby bond - it will be easier without you. Babies and young children are very good at manipulating the situation but once they start to realise that however long you are gone, you will actually come back, they will settle down.

Perhaps take some familiar toys or blanket from your home to the CM to provide a comfort for sleeping etc - i have found this helps in the past.

Good luck - i am sure you will be fine.

how bout one of your old tops to cuddle so he still has your smell we did this when my daughter was little and stayed away from home worked a treat good luck also other posters are right only way to do it is just to go lo will be fine

Thanks for all the replies! I was planning to do what allthatglisters suggested, in that staying with him till he felt comfortable and then leave.

I guess eventually I will drop him off and leave but I want him to be comfortable first and feel like it is a familiar place.

When I drop him and leave, how long should I leave for the first time?

I don't think that CM should really worry that she hasn't had a mindee so young - I had a 16m/o who threw a complete fit a couple of weeks ago, he cried constantly for nearly an hour but he soon perked up and really enjoyed himself afterwards. Your LO will settle in the end, I agree that you should try to make him feel comfortable but I think he will cry a bit irrespective of how used to the place he is if he's not used to being without you.