2nd 3rd steps au pair search......

[pertbootywish]

Hi all,

thanks to everyone for the replies I had on my previous post about peoples experiences of having an Au Pair.

I have now taken my first tentative steps on the au pair search using Au Pair World and am starting to feel a little overwhelmed and was hoping for a bit of virtual support from any old hands out there.

So story so far (after 48hrs....)
I have set myself up with a profile and contacted a few AP's who have replied positively (and some who have declined), ok so far, I have been innundated with intro messages ....good I guess, I have taken heed from some previous advice on here and sent all the AP's from above that I liked the sound/look of a short intro and questionnaire(thanks to a previous post by mrsrecyle). I kind of expected no replies but I have been happily surprised at the number of replies I have had so far (9/29 after only 24hrs ).

Now I am a bit flummoxed as to next steps, how should I be responding to the ones I still like? More emails, call (what to say?) etc. How long do you normally take to get to know AP before offering position? Do you get scared that if you don't move quickly AP will be off with someone else?
This is really starting to remind me of internet dating (which I was not particularly successful at ).

Also as per above ref had seen a brilliant sounding AP (Australian) who I contacted and who responded to Q, responses were great (I just loved what she had to say), then after asking about money she responded with she would expect about $300Aus (£180) a week.... ..also heartbroken emoticon. Is this typical for an Aussie? ho hum.....

Sorry for boring everyone with AP queries again but this will be a big deal for us (as control freakish lone parent) and just want to get it right.

Thanks PBW.x

ok

the main thing to remember is that lots of people want to be APs, so there will be someone for you.

Make a spread sheet or you will forget who you have replied to and what they say.

I reckon you would exchange 1 or 2 further emails then set up a phone chat.

Before phone chat I want to be sure we have established:
rate of pay
hours
expectations about duties
what kind of town we live in (ie no, it is NOT in London)
that I will be asking for and following up references
start date
any important allergies/general health of AP.

Then repeat much of that info in the phone chat, as well as getting a feel for AP's grasp of English and general personality.

then make an offer subject to references.

then confirm arrival date & start date and get official documents and copies of travel bookings.

Keep the process going with a few APs at a time, because some of your favourites will suddenly disappear from contact and never reply again.

Re your Aussie - no, not typical. Our last AP was a fantastic Aussie & we paid £85 p/w for 35 hours.

I do the initial questionaire and 'all about us, the area, the job and the package' email, followed up by some chatty emails, check references (by phone if you have the language skills), phone call with au pair (to check their English is sufficient to call an ambulance ) followed by job offer and request for their flight number...do not relax until you have the confirmation of a booked flight
It's normally no more than a couple of weeks from first contact to job offer..and the drop out rate is huge - If I recall correctly we started with 200 contacts and ended up with a choice of 2 the last time we looked.
Some 'au pairs' especially with english as first language, are looking for live-in nanny type jobs, with money to match, so I always quote our 'package' in the first email.
We are not in London and would often get to the final stages and then have au pair turn us down for a London job. Most au pairs talk to a lot of families simultaneously and will just drop the ones they lose interest in.

From one control freakish lone parent to another

WE have Australian AP and that response to money is not uncommon - but they may also be looking at jobs in US were that kind of money is common but the hours are far higher.

What I did was respond very politel pointing out the role we offered did not justify that kind of money, but playing up the positive aspects of hours fee during the day to explore local area, paid holiday (not included in most US job offers) to explore Europe and other aspects of package. Also point out that a few years ago A$300 would have been £120 and that can't help international currency movements. We offered her the going rate and she accepted.

Ecoli's rate of 200 down to 2 is about right.

wow EColi 200 down to 2 now that puts my 29 emails into perspective.....

Does that mean you actually exchanged a few emails with 200 potential AP's? ...arm begins to ache with thought of RSI....

iheartdusty, spreadsheet; check, good tip.
Thanks for the insight into how you approach things, very useful.

DIOM maybe I will follow up with the Aussie, I did really 'like' her, though have a feeling I'm going to be falling in love with the idea of half of them at this rate like a teenager with a crush . Was going to be offering £60pw with a city bus pass if they were committed to staying for at least 6months (which would amount to about £16pw) do you think this is reasonable (bearing in mind I only have the one dd at hours would be no more than 25pw)?

thanks again all. Will keep you updated on my progress.

I offer the same, but with a review after a month, the good ones do more than the 25 hours (without being asked) so I pay more. We offer mobile phone (I cover UK calls and text messages); car (we live in a village so essential - I pay for local petrol); unlimited use of home phone (Australia is included in our plan); gym membership (almost nothing to add to family membership); also pay more during the school holidays (up to thresholds for PAYE and NI).

Gut feel is so important when selecting an AP, have had several where we have got a way down the line on emails etc answers have been good but something just doesn't feel right, so I drop them, need to be 100% happy.

The 200 is number of au pairs who contacted us and we read their details and either emailed or discarded plus the (fewer) au pairs who we chose to contact .. it is a lot of profile reading and you do get to the point of not being able to remember who is who but the numbers whittle down quite quickly once you see who replies to the questionaire and has checkable references.
The average pay round here (south but not London) is 75 for 25 hours plus use of car. We pay more because I try to tempt au pairs with excellent english and previous childcare experience and because my children need a bit more complex care than the average bear.

Not that I've recruited an au pair but I've been on the receiving end.

1. Make a standard e-mail for the first contact. Include hours, duties, pay, benefits, length you expect, any other requirements. They will work out if it's not for them.
2. If she replies to you, reply to her. If you find someone then let people know.
3. Only chat to people you're serious about.
4. Only check refs for people you're REALLY serious about.

We also went through about 200 applications. Overwhelming, I know, but it helped us realise that there were huge numbers of good people out there so we decided to be really picky. For instance we decided to shortlist only those with childcare qualifications and recent experience in a traceable establishment that could provide refs and copies of CRB checks etc.

Sounds OTT perhaps, and we probably ruled out some really great people, but we ended up with three very serious candidates who all had years of experience with kids. We just went for gut feeling in the end and are having a very positive experience (hopefully both ways) six months on.

It is a numbers game but it pays off in the end. Decide on your criteria and stick to them. Good luck!

Well just back from a few days away and starting to go through the replies to the questionnaire and to return some of the emails I have had and thought you'd all have a little chuckle at this answer to Q #16 see below (AP is from Germany).

By the way if anyone can enlighten me as to what #19 is that'd be great, sounds scary

16.) What food do you not like?

Vegetables, because of number 19. And champignons.

Is it related to question/answer #19?

One of our APs said she liked 'everything except bowels' (also german and turned out to be the worlds fussiest eater).

Presumably her answer to Q. 19 was IBS, chronic flatulence or similar...

or a severe vegetable phobia?
(I am lol at the idea of an AP admitting to chronic flatulence whilst applying for a job).

We need to know what Q19 was! (and her answer).

Suggestion:

Q19: Describe your most embarrassing experience.

I suspect it was something boring and mundane like do you have any allergies. But being allergic to all vegetables would be a right PITA. I can hardly deal with being allergic to 4 or 5!

Ha you'd think it would be that straightforward wouldn't you (actually EColi I was being a bit dense and hadn't put 2 n 2 together so did go back and check the questions).

Here you go;

Q19 Do you have any phobias?
A. Only sceared about balloons, fire works and cinemas. I don't know why, but I always "survived" carnival, new years eve and even watched a movie last month -> I have less problems with kids movies.

In that cases it is the noisiness that scears me, but as you can see..... it are no phobias......

....oooookay then...can you imagine this one caring for a balloon mad/kid movie mad/quite loud at times 4yr old?

EColi I have to admit I'm not a great fan of bowels either...is that something you eat alot at home?

DIOM you are cracking up my face mask

We are vegetarian so no...no bowel eating in this house.

So, the mystery continues - it's not linked to Q19...unless she believes that veggies are scarily noisy and shoot into the sky bursting into sparkles? Or that you can inflate them?

I think you better write this one off (unless, just to satisfy our curiosity, you try one last email to ask what the heck she is talking about )

Does she mention nothing about allergies or being scared by a carrot at an impressionable age, or having an embarrassing moment with a cauliflower?

We have a lot of champignon in our house (the best french cuisine ) so we wouldn't want her either.

So my receipe for inflated exploding parsnip not wanted there then.