Tips on finding a good au pair..

[Corblimy]

I've just had a second baby and I'm in need of extra help, so I am going to get an au pair - and was hoping for some advice of how to recruit a good one (and tips on how to avoid the pitfalls of getting a 'problematic' one)....also, did getting an au pair work for you?

Everyone has their own view on recruiting an au pair. To help we probably need more advice on what you want the au pair to do and what you offer.

I know it's early days to be thinking about employment aspects but often working backwards saves a lot of trouble - starting as you mean to go on etc. If you're clear about what you want from your au pair, have a good contract, point out that all their rights will be respected then you're a) better able to find au pairs to fit your requirements and b) setting up a good working relationship from the first contact.

Are you planning to recruit yourself? What kind of au pair do you want? What level of English is important? How much time will they have during the day for English classes? What experience would you ideally like them to have? What would you accept?!

There are many routes to recruiting an au pair and avoiding a problem but one mans meat is another's poison and all that.

some people like to get aupairs, that already had aupaired for someone else and therefore 'took off their pink glasses' if you get what i mean. also if they are in the uk you can meet them for a face to face interview, let them meet the children, show them your house and perhaps ask them for a trial day.

Frakkinaround - I don't need too many hours, an hour in the morning before 9 and then from about 5pm til 8pm on week days.....I'm thinking of recruiting myself to keep costs down and have been browsing the au pair world website. The main thing I'm after is someone who genuinely likes being around children.....

Caterpilarr - the idea of of having a trial day sounds good....was even thinking of having a trial period (on both sides) in the contract....

other places to look for aps are greataupair.com, gumtree.com and nannyjob.co.uk .
i think that most aupairs finish usually earlier so make sure whoever you recruit understands you'll need them in the evening every day. on the other hand there's plenty of time for english classes or other jobs.

I was recently looking into this and the 'rules' seem to be:

• 25 hours per week of housework and/or childminding (if they are suitably qualified or the children are older)
• paid a minimum of £60/£70 per week
• free board and lodging, eating the same meals as the family at the same time as the family
• must have own bedroom, with desk and window
• must have at least two days off per week
• babysitting is fine, but late-night working should be occasional, rather than the norm
• time off for English lessons, which may or may not be paid for by the host family

The au pair normally picks up their own travel tab, but it's best to pick them up at the airport if possible.

The tricky bit is finding a good agency or website and I am afraid I can't yet help you there!

If your expectations are relatively low (not that that's a bad thing, please don't take it the wrong way!) you'll find it easier to recruit than someone who needs longer periods of sole care for school aged children, help with homework etc....

Gumtree and nannyjob are often used by those already in the UK. Aupairworld and greataupair are often used by those outside.

Nationalitywise EU citizens (except Romanians and Bulgarians) have unlimited working rights, as do NZ, Aus, Japan and Canadian citizens on a tiered youth mobility visa. Romanians and Bulgarians already in the country may have an accession worker card/certificate, if they're coming from their own country they either need to be under 28 and able to get an au pair visa in which case they can only work 5 hours a day (some other conditions attached) or they need to have an accesion worker card, possibly through a spouse.

A trial period of both sides is v important IMO. There's lots of good contract advice on here so do browse around.

People often say that au pairs who've had a job before (as in worked for money) are more responsible. As you have a newborn I'm assuming experience with younger babies would be a plus, so someone with lots of siblings might suit you rather than someone with experience in holiday acitivity camps. Always take up references, even if it's just from a teacher or a neighbour but preferably job/childcare related. If you have any language problems it's always worth putting out a cry for help on here and in the living overseas section of MN.

Good luck!

Having had a few au pairs and met their au pair friends I would not be too keen on an au pair looking for a new family via gumtree/au pair world as they are often the ones that original host families have asked to leave for good reasons. From the tales I've heard about 20% of the time the family have been unreasonable and 80% of the time it was the au pair (in my opinion ). So I would look on au pair world.
I don't think there is an easy way to identify the problematic ones - my general rule is to try to find one that has had some sort of job in the past, who is midway through a degree or apprenticeship so they have a reason to work hard at their english, and has previous childcare experience in a work setting (ie. mothers help or nursery experience, not looking after their 'cousins'). But of 2 that fitted these criteria, 1 was excellent and the other was trouble And the AP I took on without fitting my criteria (no degree course, only informal childcare experience, no previous 'job' although had 1 yr of au pair experience in the UK) has been the best of the bunch.
I would say that we could tell the problem AP was a problem from the off, and in future I would allow 1 month for them to settle in but if they are no good by then I would ask them to go (we struggled on for 5 months with our problem AP).
Be as honest as you can be in your job description and description of the area, ask about their expectations regarding their food, social life, if they want to join in with family trips or be self-sufficient. There are no right answers to most of the questions, but you will know who suits your family better.
Try to find other local host families before your AP arrives so that you can introduce them to some ready-made friends to help them settle in to the area
Good luck

I have had many aupairs, and would never fork out the money for an agency again. They didn't seem to do as much background checks as you can do yourself. If you use a site such as aupairworld or greataupair, you can swap a great deal of info back and for with any prospective aupair and get a "feel of them" for yourself. Agencies tend to give you a choice of 2 or 3 that have simply "filled in the forms". Do the legwork yourself, save yourself some money, and hopefully find someone that fits our criteria!

There is an element of luck in this. No amount of screening will weed out bad eggs 100% but it could reduce the chances.

I have a long questionnaire that aupairs have to answer. The fact that they even do so is probably the best indication there is that they are serious enough about the role to do it - main hurdle crossed. The answers they give I take with a pinch of salt.

They will tell you what you want to hear. They are fit as a fiddle, love to cook and want the cultural experience. Once they are here, all the sniffles come out, the phobia, never offered to cook for the family once and just end up in clubs and bars and shopping.

I agree with focusing on candidates with previous aupair experience. Those that did treated it like a job as much as the fiction of being a member of the family.

Also, check up on references. Arrange a phone call, not just email. Make sure they are not related to her! Again, not full proof. But at least you will get someone who is not all bad.

foolproof

I have used au pair world. I would check references, look for previous experience. Talk to them and I have also always flown mine over for the weekend for interview. It cost £100 ish for an air fare but at least you both know what to expect if you offer the job. One thing i have learned is if you want them to drive try to recruit someone over 20 as insurance costs are really high for au pairs.

Don't just focus on one person, and don't be put off by sudden silence when you are recruiting. Candidates keep several families on the go in the recruitment process before they commit to one, and several times I have found emails and even phone calls suddenly stop being returned, even when things seemed to be going well.
I guess it gets confusing to remember who you have responded to. That works both ways - I totally failed to answer a detailed email from one very nice-sounding young woman - I had found someone else and overlooked the need to let her know. Make a spreadsheet to keep track!

I used aupairworld to find my first aupair who has been with us almost a month.
It is a hard process and took us ages to narrow down the applicants etc.

On the subject of references I will not accept hotmail/gmail etc addresses, I want a work email address so that I know who I am talking to.

In no particular order I have found that the better au pairs will:
Have siblings & both parents work - good indicators of being able to fend for self.
Have held down a job for a period of time - doesn't have to be childcare related just shows they understand about being on time day in day out.
Hold an animatrice qualification - this is the French working on summer camps of orther out of school group type environment - not that they can draw cartoons (a mistake you only make once).
Other summer camp experience
Have worked as an au pair for a couple of years, can produce excellent verifiable references from a senior member of the Australian civil service who was herself completely checkable (OK we got very lucky with that one).

Good luck

We have found that most of our au pairs who have come from central and eastern Europe mainly provide written/paper based references that are from people who don't have an email address.

If you insist on an email address then you may rule out a perfectly valid reference from a girl's neighbour who has never worked with a computer in her life, and force your prospective au pair to ask her friend who just graduated with her (and has a job that comes with a work email address) to write one for her instead.

Email from work based email addresses probably works better with other English speaking countries that are part of the Youth Mobility scheme, where it is wasier to call and check an English speaking person.

Reference checking by email is flawed anyway as every reply can be delayed until the subject of the reference has been contacted to concur what should be said. I'm not saying everyone would do this but you can imagine can't you...

Supposed Referee: "Hey Maria it's Ana. Guess what - I got an email from some English family asking about you. What do you want me to say?"

Maria: "Oh great - ok - can you just tell them that I was babysitting for your two kids ever since you went back to work in 2006 - tell them I used to take them out to the playground, buy them ice creams and used to sing songs and read books to them - that woild be perfect"

Emailing a reference doesn't give any opportunity to ask any on the spot questions.

Unless you focus on English speaking au pairs from the Youth Mobility scheme then all others will come from non-English speakign countries. It means references obviously will be provided in a foreign language and checking them will be a job for someone who speaks that language.

As TennisFan says - it's a long hard process. If you have all the time in the world and don't mind the frustration of people letting you down then you'll be fine. If you want a thorough job done by people who do it every day for a living then use an agency. After she arrives you've also got their support and the security of knowing if things don't work out you can find a replacement easily.

Treeesa, do agencies really do a thorough job? The best aupair I had got her first aupair job through an agency - she did not think so.

It is easy to get replacement aupairs from aupairworld. I have hired at all times of the year and have hundreds of interested applicants within days. Then again, I do live in London.

Most agencies here work with a second agency in other countries so it does depend on how concious and thorough the other agency is as well. It's possible blueshoes that the experience your au pair had with her agency is not that of the British one, but of the agency she initially registered with in her own country. There again the collective result is just as important especially in making sure her checks have all been done.

In part it is why I switched to 1st Choice as they deal with both the families and au pairs and travel to meet the au pairs in their home countries themselves. They are very thorough in what they do so I have confidence in them.

There are good agencies and poor ones I'm sure though. The agencies I've used I've been very happy with so maybe I've been lucky. Admittedly the first time I switched from doing it myself to using an agency I phoned a number of them before taking the plunge so I guess it depends on the agency you choose to go with.

I went with a very long established agency first - the London Au Pair & Nanny Agency who had many years of experience. They knew what they were doing and after a few years of using Great Au Pair and doing it ourselves, with all the emailing and drop outs, and having to check all the applicants ourselves it just made the whole process so easy for a change.. I never felt like doing it myself ever again.. Each time I know it has saved me many days if not weeks of headache and stress so no regrets at all.