In Desperate NEED of advice, info anything!!

[mortisha69]

Hi,
I'm new to the site and have 2 wonderful boys. My eldest is 11 and my youngest is going to be 9 in March and was diagnosed High Functioning Autistic Spectrum Condition in 2006...
He is an amazing young boy who has come a very long way...
My question is HOW do you find an after-school/ school holidays and the odd rare couple of hours an evening Babysitter/minder for a child over the age of 8 with special Needs??? I have been looking everywhere for about a year now and have had absolutely no results. I've been to my local council website, I've been to the national websites, Ofsted, everywhere you name it that I can think of, including autistic websites that offer advice but no suggestions, and I've yet to find a babysitter/minder that will take a special needs child, let alone one over the age of 8!! then if they are registered special needs they have no Autism/Autistic Spectrum/Asperger's experience/knowledge.

It's been 5 years literally since my husband and I have been out for a meal or to go to the cinema or anything... We need a break. Not to mention that i am currently massively limited to part time work- ( I actually work in the same school as my sons- though younger children- nursery- primary, as a Teaching assistant for children on the spectrum).. because I can't find anyone nor do we have any family help.

are all other parents of special needs kids in the same boat??? any ideas anyone? suggestions? anything will be GREATLY appreciated!!!
thanks for listening..

Hi Mortisha. I can't help you, and this is very early days in your post, but there is also a special needs board on here. Have you posted on that too as some people just check in to that

Have you looked for a nanny? There's an agency that specialises in special needs - SNAP Childcare.

I would just advertise for a babysitter. There are plenty of professional nannies - like myself- who babysit for a bit of extra income.

Where do you live?

Parents find me via Google, or via talking to other parents at local NAS events.
If you are in West Surrey, North Hampshire then I may be able to help. In other areas try a Google search along the lines of: babysitter autism YourTown

I am very surprised your Local Authority has been unable to help you find a Childminder who specialises in Special Needs children, but maybe they are all full. Some years ago my husband and I used to do respite fostering, to give families like you a break, so maybe social services can help you?

It is very, very tricky and I think the honest answer is that most people cannot find what you are looking for. Come to the SN board and ask again, there may be people in your area who can help but I think you'll find your complaint just echoed! Sorry to say that. We only have grandparents to help us for similar reasons although not ASD, and we are incredibly grateful for that!
There are some options, such as those mentioned above but they are few and far between. Asking your council is a start but unless you qualify for respite or Direct Payments then you won't be offered much!
I think it's an appalling state of affairs but sadly very common.

Agree with others. Where are you based?
Loads of nannies babysit or failing that are you in a town/city or local to a university that runs courses in childhood/ education as that can (sometimes) turn up some good candidates.
If you are in London I might be able to help

I think you could find a babysitter either through a nanny agency look at www.snapchildcare.co.uk or throught private adverts.

I know nanny nick has lots of experience with children with autism and has already posted on this thread.

I am a qualified childrens nurse and can do evenings and weekends and am in east midlands with lots of experience with children with special needs inc autisitic spectrum of varying degrees.

I am sure there are many other nannies who have experience of autism or even work during the day with children with special needs and do babysitting in the evenings.

Do any of the nursery nurses/ teaching assitants at your school babysit in evenings or would they be interested in doing so?

I am not sure how the Family Information Services operate in other areas, but ours has a list of registered childminders who have experience (or were willing learners) of caring for children with special needs.

I assume that the absolutely useless directgov site still doesn't have this sort of information on it, but the FIS usually does, but you would have to phone them (the internet lists no longer exist).

There are registered childminders out there who would care for older children with SN - I currently have a 12 year old boy with Down's Syndrome who I have cared for since he was a baby.

I have also have placements from Social Services for children of all ages who have SN (including teenagers) - is it worth contacting SS to see if yours holds a list of minders?

Is it that important that you find someone who already has experience/knowledge of autism? I really wouldn't discount someone who might be able to help but doesn't have prior experience/knowledge - I have a long list of "special needs" that I had no experience of until I had the child with me.

The childcare.co.uk website is also a site where you can find all manner of childcarers.

if you dont mind having a nanny/someone who doesnt have sn training but is willing to leaqrn the have a look on your local netmums or nannyjob board - there are nannies there lookinh gor ad hoc/part time work

what area are you in-maybe some one on here can help you - we are spread out far and wide

Agree ThePrisoner, you don't get the experience of caring for children with SN until you actually do it. The person just needs to be very patient, undemanding, someone who goes with the flow, doesn't panic when faced with a difficulity, someone to whom the child responds - in whatever way that may be.
I find it's the relationship between me and the child that's the important factor. The child must feel safe, put a lot of trust in me to keep them safe and not pressure them to do something they are uncomfortable doing.

Do you have a community childminder network (ask your FIS or social services) in your area.

many CCN's offer babysitting, respite care etc.

What area are you in? I am happy to do special needs babysitting/childminding and know a few others that would.