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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny trial day

28 replies

Slana · 25/02/2010 08:20

Hi.I am just about to employ our first nanny.From a few of them , I chose 2 nannies to come for a trial day.
My question is :what should I expect from the nanny?Is it going to be like a day at work or just getting to know the house and the girls?Should I pay the nanny for the trial day?
The nannies are really different,one off them is more mature with years of experience but no qualification and the other one is young and has just 4 years experience, still studying for a childcare qualification but seems really focused and mature.My 2 year old DD like's the younger one, probably because she interacted more with her during the interview.

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allaboutme · 25/02/2010 08:24

yes def pay them. make sure they come on different days to each other!
I'd spend quite a bit of time telling them what your routine is and asking them questions about how they would fit in with it, but also stand back a bit and let them play with your DD alone a bit too so you can watch from a distance how they interact and get a gut reaction!

frakkinaround · 25/02/2010 08:38

Pay them and guide them but let them be as hands on as possible for at least half the day - they should be playing with your DDs, suggesting activities such as going to the park, feeding them, generally acting as though they would if you weren't around. The other way to do it is to structure a day very tightly and let them get on with it. I prefer the first (as a nanny) because it lets me show what I can/would do and how I'd go through the day but the second will give you a better base for comparison between the two candidates if you want to assess their actual childcare skills.

It's an opportunity for you see whether you would be able to work with them, not a handover so I wouldn't go overboard on talking to them about routine and how you do things, but definitely ask them their views and how they would fit.

Remember to take time at the end of the day to give them feedback as well.

Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 09:02

At the moment I am 50/50 about each nanny.
The mature one was asking pleeenty questions during the interview, she was really interested in finding more about the family and DD`s(probably to many questions actually ) but didnt really interact with DD.The young one asked questions,not as many as the first one , but she interacted very well with DD.Dd actually ended up giving the nanny cuddles and started crying when the nanny had to leave.That is the reason why I am confused and I will keep an eye on them.
How many hours the trial should be?

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frakkinaround · 25/02/2010 09:06

I think a good 6 hours, preferably including lunch, maybe 10-4? That way they can do a morning activity, lunch and something in the afternoon but it depends on your DDs nap schedule. If she has a long nap after lunch you can use that time to sit down with the nanny and ask some more questions/feed back. If she has a long morning nap then from whenever your DD is due to wake up (and you can brief a little bit before) for around 6 hours.

Bear in mind the older one may have worked out that interviews are as much her interviewing you as you interviewing her and won't want to proceed unless everything is just right. The younger one may just be more flexible and wait for you to tell her lots/see how it goes.

Which did you get on better with?

Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 09:26

Well it went well with both off them , but I felt a bit akward with all those questions that 1st nanny was asking.I am looking for a nanny that will be more flexible and love and cuddle my dds(they are 2 and 4). I recentlly divorced and its hard for all 3 of us.My mum used to help me, but she has health problems now so she cannot help.The girls are used to get hugs and kisses from their career(grandma) and I wont like a nanny who will just take them to lots of activities and stimulate them, but who will not give them affection.
The first nanny seemed a bit cold towards DD, she just asked how are you and that was it.
frakkinaround I understand what you are saying about the nanny interviewing me, but if she doesnt connect with my DD everything is useless, no matter how much I like her as a proffesional nanny.

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Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 09:30

Also I probablly need to point out the weekly schedulle .
It will be 2 days sole charge, pure childcare;1 day shared care(so I can have 1DD for a few hours and after that the other DD) and 2 days housekeeping with a few childcare duties.The childcare days are really important for me and I am flexible about finding someone else to do the housekeeping, but both nannies agreed that they dont mind doing the housekeeping.

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frakkinaround · 25/02/2010 09:32

I think you're answering your own question here TBH! If you'd asked us which nanny the MN jury would go for I suspect it would have been a resounding #2. Experience is great but a personality fit is more important, especially for your DDs.

Having said that they might come across totally different on the trial day! Nannies have different interviewing styles - I personally am more of the second but do appreciate an uninterrupted time with the parents to work through everything I want to cover as well as what they want to go through. It's a misfit in what you feel the purpose of the interview is if what you're looking for is how she gets on with the children and she thinks you're looking for how you get on with her.

Is your elder DD at school? If so then an afternoon with a bit of time with the younger one, school pick-up and tea would be ideal for a trial.

Strix · 25/02/2010 09:45

Hire the young one. The click factor is so important, especially when you and your girls are adjusting to a new life without husband/father in the house.

I find younger nannies are more willing to be trained into the role you want them to fill. An older nanny who had a milllion business like questions I would fear was going to tell me how to run my house.

And I think the fact your DD didn't want her to leave says it all really. They have been through a lot with a divorce (with any divorce, I obviously don't know your particular circumstances) and they need some to bond with.

Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 09:48

DD1 will be at school in both of the days when I plan to have the trials.My heart goes with nanny2 but my brain with nanny1.
All I can do is wait for the trial day and see how it will go.
Thank you for your advice

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frakkinaround · 25/02/2010 09:54

Why is your brain saying nanny1?

Is it just that she comes across well on paper?
Are you looking for stability and think she'll stay longer?
Do you want someone with a lot of her qualities?

Is there anything wrong with nanny2 that means you wouldn't go with her other than the lack of experience?

I feel like I'm the voice inside your head

But seriously, a nanny is one of the biggest decisions you can make and it's perfectly reasonable to want to have thought of everything. I'll shut up after this but honestly, if you're not happy with either then don't do the trial day and interview some more. It's not worth rushing. If you need childcare NOW then get a temp in to give you the space to make that decision.

Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 09:54

Strix the divorce was a shock for all off us and they are really atached to their dad.Obviously they are seeing the dad aswell, but just a weekend a month...(he moved in different country)
Everything depends on the trial day, I dont want to set my mind on nanny 2 as she can be a disaster in trial and I really want to give nanny 1 a chance to prove that she is proffesional and caring aswell.

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Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 10:04

I dont need a nanny that urgent, the start date is flexible but maximum after Easter.
I did interview around 15 nannies and this 2 were my favourite.Nanny1 because she has 15 years experience,excellent references and she was employed by single mum aswell+she came across as really focused and proffesional and wanted to know everything but I got a bit stresed and emotional because she was asking to many questions about the dad and divorce,why did it happen,when etc.
Nanny2 is just 23 she had 2 nanny jobs but stayed with both families for 2 years,has excellent references aswell, she was lovely and sweet with DD,she knew about the divorce etc but didnt go into to much detail,just asked if the dad sees the girls and how often.
frakkinaround you are like the voice inside my head .

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Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 10:07

The other nannies had nice Cv`s but they were rubish dissapointing.

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Strix · 25/02/2010 10:36

Oh sorry, I thought you had alread had the trial day. Must read more carefully. Yes, of course, do the trial with both. But, if I were you, the child-nanny bonding would be pretty high on the list when I went to make the decision.

It sounds to me like nanny 2 had a better grasp of when to ask what she needed to know and when to take the hint to back off when you didn't want to talk about it. This is, I believe, a very important skill for nanny: to know when to take the lead, and to when to follow the boss' lead. Not all nannies possess this skill.

frakkinaround · 25/02/2010 10:40

Sorry

I didn't necessarily mean for you to answer the questions here btw, because reading back it does come across as a bit of a cross-examination which I suspect you've had enough of lately! It's just things that might help crystalise things in your head. Anyway, I really shall shut up now.

Original poster

Slana · 25/02/2010 10:50

frakkinaround please dont! Answering the questions helps you to understand the situation better.It is delicate but I got over it, I had to for the sake of my DD's.
I will have the trials Monday and Tuesday from 10:30 and the first one to come in is nanny2.

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Starberries · 27/02/2010 18:09

Let us know how things get on!

I can understand your wanting both of them, why oh why couldn't you have interviewed a candidate right in-between . Good luck!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/02/2010 18:19

no 2 the younger one

helenlovelyperson · 27/02/2010 21:04

hello, am in v similar situation, not yet divorced but separated and heading that way. I found trial day for my second attempt at hiring a nanny (1st one didn't work out, v boring story ) really helpful, younger candidate which sort of worried me somehow but saw her in action with DDs (7 and 2) during half term and was hugely reassured.

I wrote out a guideline schedule/routine for the day but kept a fairly low profile (did a bit of work, popped out to the shops on my own etc) and let her get on with it. We all had lunch together and she and I had a couple of chats e.g. during DD2 nap. Basically gave me that warm feeling that the girls liked her and she got on with things and was a pleasure to have around.

I work full time and have a pretty full-on, stressful job so I wanted to know that I can head off to work leaving the girls with her and not spend all day worrying how things are going at home. Enough strees with XH etc, don't need more on top IYSWIM

very best of luck and in my limited experience would say go with your instincts

Original poster

Slana · 01/03/2010 16:37

Nanny2 just left.She was great with the girls, even took them in a park nearby as the weather was great today.Both DD's liked her, I had a little chat with them and they said she was great in the park and kept on asking my older dd what she likes etc.
The only "person" who seems not to like nanny2 is my cat . He started to bite her as we were chating and I feel so bad, because he doesnt normaly do that.
Tomorow is the trial day with nanny1, I cant wait to see how she will be around the girls and hopefully she wont get biten by my naughty cat .

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Blondeshavemorefun · 01/03/2010 18:23

sure the cat will get to like no 2, get her to give some cheese

glad day went well - what happens if no 1 gets on well as well, then how do you chose?

frakkinaround · 02/03/2010 12:25

The cat will decide, Blondes!

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/03/2010 17:51

i would always get the job then

cats love me - as i am allergic - saying that i never go willingly to an interview for a job with a cat

sure i told the story of me asking a woman on the phone if she had a cat, as i couldnt work with cats as severly allergic

she replied no didnt have a cat, i went for the interview, nose felt tiggly, and in strolled 2 cats, i asked if they were her cats, she said yes, i said i asked you on the phone if you have a cat and you said no

woman said, i dont have a cat, i have two - and this was a high powered career woman who ran a miulti billion company - who obv had no common sense

anyway, slight detour - how was no 1 day?

Original poster

Slana · 03/03/2010 13:59

nanny1 came in yesterday but she had a flu so she left after lunch time.I dont know if she was sick for real or she doesnt like the girls...but I decided not to take her as she didnt show to much interest.
So the winner is nanny2 ,the young one.I really hope is the right decision,but the girls really like her and she showed more interest than anyone else.
I will ask her to start on 15, so she can get confortable with the house and the girls.
Thanks to all of you

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Original poster

Slana · 03/03/2010 14:01

Blondeshavemorefun you should ask if they have any cat not a cat

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