CMs - Would you be offended by this question?

[draggedthroughahedgebackwards]

I have finally found a potential CM for when I go back to work. I took DH to meet her and he has a problem with the fact that we think she is a smoker (raspy voice and vague smell of smoke in the house).

I did notice this myself when I met her initially, and was weighing up whether I could cope with the faint smell of smoke (which I noticed when we returned) on my DD's clothes every day. But in all other respects she is great and there are so few CMs in our area. I don't believe for a second that she would smoke in front of her mindees (it would I suspect be illegal for one thing).

DH is one of those evangelical former smokers and highly protective of his PFB, which means that if she were a smoker it would be a big concern for him.

In all fairness to her, we need to establish if this is the case before we make a decision but I don't know if the question is a bit personal or not, after all it is her business if she smokes in her own time. I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to these things, so my questions are, would you be offended, and how should I go about it?

tbh that would be a no from me. I would hate my dd to smell of stale smoke.

My CM was an occasional smoker but her house did not smell of it and my dd NEVER did. She told me from the start and said she just smoked at night once her own kids were in bed and so that was fine with me but I wouldn't have wanted her smoking during day. I am sure she was telling the truth as I would never have guessed she was a smoker. There were no smell clues.

Ugh, I'd have to say I'd not accept that - the dangers of passive smoking - especially to very young children are great and if she had a cigarette then she'd be breathing dangerous fumes for (from recollection) 20-30 mins afterwards, so even if she smoked outside while babies were sleeping it could still affect your child. And even if she doesn't smoke and its someone else in the house I'd find it v difficult to accept that my baby smelled of smoke.

Sorry, very anti-smoking here (in case you couldn't tell!).

Well, its totally up to your childminder if she smokes outside of working hours as I am sure you can appreciate BUT its not an unreasonable concern of yours not want your child around cigarette smoke etc.
No I wouldn't be offended (and yes I do smoke) if I was asked (and I am a childminder - never during working hours and only ever outside any other time so the house doesn't smell - I hate it!).
during work hours we cannot smoke on the premises anyway.

As a CM I would not be offended at all about being asked, however I am a non-smoker. I suspect if she is a smoker she may well take offense to being asked.

tbh a smoking CM would not do for me either. I could not bear the smell on my babies clothes and knowing they were around it all day long.

If her house smells, then your kiddies clothes will pick it up.
One of my mums smokes and leaves the buggy in the porch, which now smells of stale smoke.
Other parents have mentioned it but I have no other option but to leave the buggy there.

I hate second hand smoke, and also object to walking out of a shop/restaurant to be confronted by smokers all gathered there puffing away.

I have no problem at all whether people smoke or not, it is their choice and what they do in their own time is up to them. I would not accept a CM that smokes in the house though, even if actually it's not her that smokes but her partner/family member. I don't expect she smokes during the day as that'd be very hard to get around when Ofsted come knocking but anyone that smokes in the house (or lets someone else smoke inside) really should know better, there is nothing worse than a stinking house, bluuurgh!

Oh, and I wouldn't find it too personal if someone asked, most CMs would have a policy detailing how they won't let people smoke near the kids anyway - ask to see it at the very least even if you don't end up being able to summon the energy to ask her directly! Good luck!