What did you do with your full time live-in nanny when your kids went to full time school?

[Strix]

I'm just pondering my options here. I had always thought that when DS hit full time school I would drop to an au pair and then go on a luxury cruise around the world with my savings. But, that day is now here and I still have a full time nanny largely because I travel for work sometimes and that means overnight care for two or three night in a row sometimes. And I think that's too much for an au pair. So, the nanny fixture is looking more and more permanent... much to the detriment of my finances.

I just wonder if other people came to the realisation that they were not letting go of the full time nanny when the kids went to school full time.

Come on, misery loves company, tell me I'mnot the only shmuck.

nope we have one too

even worse, our is live out

Ours suddenly has 9:00-3:00 free every day (unless there is a sick child, which is pretty much never). I have left pay in tact at least through this school year because I will still need full time care over the summer so might as well just leave it as it is for now. But, I am starting to think about my options for September.

If it's any consolation my mother kept ours when we were all at school, then went down to, well, British au pairs I guess - gappers or people looking for some experience who did before/after school care and overnights and then we had au pairs. By the time she was done with them they were only a couple of years older than me!

Also my ex-MB has only just gone 'down' to an au pair, and even then an experienced one, for before/after school care with overnights that's for one child aged 8.

With the right au pair, I dont think that is too much.

my last job, i left after 5years as both children were at school, i stayed till oct half term to see child into school, as thought losing me (been there since was 5weeks old), starting school and getting a new nanny would have been too much

i was replaced by an after school nanny,3-6pm and parents did morning drop off and then begged childcare if ill children and off school

because you work long hours+travel strix, i think you still need someone to live in, so i would have thought an au pair plus/exp would be fine, rather than a full time nanny

I kept full time live out Nanny until she decided to move on when youngest DD was about 9 - then went for school Breakfast Club and CM after school which I felt was far from ideal but would not have taken on a new unknown Nanny on these terms - nor do I think many good Nannies would have been interested. Would have kept her on until youngest was at secondary. I wanted them to continue to be at home before and after school and the holidays are very long and inevitable sickness and snowdays etc would have made me unreliable at work. In term term Nanny was asked to do childrens housework, cooking, shopping, homework marking etc in school time in order to spend more time with DDs when they were at home. Other than that time was her own but she needed to be contactable by phone and available within 15 mins of school. She was very willing to stay in for deliveries, workman, do a few errands for me etc but I tried to keep that to a minimum as I felt it unfair, not her job and could have eventually led to resentment.
Expensive option yes but (and I'm sure many will disagree) I did not really trust the idea of an au pair and however great a child minder is your child is fitting in with their family and usually other mindees and particularly in school holidays this limits their options for socialising, outings and close bonding with an adult.
So, no you're not alone - I think it's quite common.

ours are far older

we have found that having a nanny has given them the stability they need as both dh and I work long hours. It's also been a godsend in the holidays/through illness.

We would have a live-in if we had the space but we don't so that rules out an au pair for us anyway.

Tbh, even if we had the choice, we wouldn't choose an au pair yet as I've seen some of our friends experiences with them and in a lot of cases, I think the children get a poor deal (I know not all au pairs are the same but that is just my very honest opinion).

"...however great a child minder is your child is fitting in with their family and usually other mindees and particularly in school holidays this limits their options for socialising, outings and close bonding with an adult."

Yes, that is a good point. My two have a variety of activities I am not prepared to give up. So I need nanny / au pair for school pick up.

mine are 11 and 9 and I went from an au pair to a live in nanny . Couldnt do it any other way but she does all our family washing and ironing as a quid pro quo for the hours. Quite happy with it all at the moment.

From the other perspective I am a live in nanny for 4 school aged children (ranging from 7 to 16). Mine attend an international school so can be home from any time after 1pm.
Yes I have time that is child free during the day but in reality I am on call in case something happens.
Also my bosses work ridiculously long hours so I usually do not finish until 11pm when the eldest finally goes to bed.
I do extra housework etc and run a lot of errands during the day.
You could, if money was the issue, go to an aupair and then put the kids in holiday camps during the holidays.
It all depends on what you want her to do.
I know of a nanny who does work in a nursery when the kids are at school and dropped her salary with her family.

I am pondering a slightly different issue (which luckily and hopefully is a long way away since my youngest (of 3) is not even 1). Our truly wonderful nanny who arrive when I was 6 months pregnanct with DC3 resigned from her last job BECAUSE all the children were in full time school and she felt she didnt have enough to occupy her in a stimulating fashion during the day. How have others found the transition if we assume that keeping the nanny is a given (which it is for me given the nature of my job and the number of children involved).

have to say i was bored having no children all day, great when they do 1/2 sessions at nursery and have a bit of free time, but i did 8-6 for those 6weeks and left to take children to school at 8.15, and was childfree 8.30 to 4pm every day

there is only so much shopping/lunching/gymming etc one can do

might be worth getting a nanny with own child who is flexible

I filled my time with volunteering whilst ex-charge made the transition to school.

Schools are often grateful for people to help listen to reading or the nanny can volunteer with a playgroup or to run a storytime at the library or something. Nanny with own child is also a good compromise because they're likely to stay as long as they can to minimise disruption to their DC (and because it's difficult to find another job!).

true frakk - i forgot i did that - did reading 3times a week - but again is only for 2hrs, so 6hrs a week

all depends on the nanny, my friend has been in her job for 12years since eldest was a baby, and now all 3 are at school and have been for 3 years and she is happy to stay and also does the cleaning/ironing etc

kids are at a private school so have 22 weeks holiday - thats almost 6mths

Hey Frakk, congrats on the haiku.

We have kept our FT live out nanny. I think you need the right nanny TBH - someone who loves babies will not be happy if her charges are at school most of the time. The skills required for supervising homework are not quite the same as the skills required for learning to grasp a spoon.

We had a nanny go on maternity leave about 9 months before DC2 started school. I looked for, and found, a replacement nanny whose previous job had been with school age children, and who had a flexible hobby (horse riding) which meant she can be happy during the day but on call for those last minute assemblies that schools love to call for the middle of the working day on short notice. Her job spec includes a lot more household chores than the normal nursery duties. If this nanny wants to leave us, I would look at an after school nanny, but while she's happy with us, we're happy with her.

It's not a cheap option. But I'd be very loath to go to an au pair. I need someone who can look after DCs and herself with minimal supervision. I reckon I'd be very very lucky to find these qualities in an au pair year after year.

I switched to an aupair. Financially it made sense, and the free babysitting was great. But it was never truly satisfactory. I just felt that with homework and reading after school I wished I had someone with English as their first language looking after my children. After a year or so I gave up work, not just because of that, I had just tired of the whole situation. I would say consider carefully before changing an arrangement that works.

Cheers, Strix! It was a slightly pointless exercise as I can't actually go but I had so much fun writing them.

In my last role i had one charge at full time school however used to pick up every thing going around. I was in sole charge of everything relating to him during my working hours shopping . Also would do parents top up shopping delivery men work men last minute assemblys sports days that used to change dates school meetings. Yes i did have spare time but always made sure that i stayed local and belive me things did crop up I was also a class rep so involed in party planning school event planning and a extra helper for school trips

RR that is so true. I often dream like Srix of not having what is nearly a 2.5 k a month committment on top of school fees mortgage etcbut our nanny is great and happy to do most things I ask even down to stuff for us like mending oles in DH's favourite fleece that he refuses to dispose of !

If it aint broke dont fix it and accept that you maybe broke for a little while longer yet !!!