Would you consider this reasonable? Or restrictive?

[starberries]

I've just started a new nannyshare position - I did 2.5 days last week. My contracted day ends at 6.30pm. One day last week I had the children out for tea at a friend's and we were back in the house for 6pm. I then was met by both sets of mums who had gotten home early at 5.40ish and had been waiting around for 20 minutes.

I've now been asked to have the children back in the house for 5.45 each day 'in case' they arrive home early, which they have said will not normally be the case.

I'm a bit miffed as they know I'm very keen to take the children out and to be able to have a play in the afternoon and tea at someone's house then back on the bus to be home for 5.45 would be very difficult for us, so it means we'd have to have any 'tea dates' at ours.

What are everyone's thoughts?

Sounds like a teething & new-job communication problem. Have they had nannies (and/or indeed nanny-shared) before? If so, what did the previous carer(s) do? Did your interviewing process cover going out in the afternoons, or how much notice, or being kept in the loop (generally) your employers need/expect? Some don't need any, some want a lunchtime update every day.

I think the mothers will have been a bit anxious at not knowing where you and the children were - especially because you're new to the job and them - and the 5.45 deadline is their way of finding a solution to that anxiety.

Which of them is the easier to talk to? I'd catch her and see if she'll explain exactly how she & the other mother felt when you & the children weren't where they expected - that may help diagnose exactly where the problem is, and it'll give you a chance to explain your perfectly sensible point on logistics, which I doubt they'll have thought of.

The solution may be as simple as 'late dates only on notice' - ie, a call to check it's OK.

Oh, the other thing I was going to say is that (not that I've been in a nannyshare, but this seems psychologically plausible) I can bet the mothers were talking about how to solve this Issue, and where one employer alone would have realised she could only sort the matter by talking to you, two people stressing together are more likely to dream up some kind of excessive Strategy Solution, like an arbitrary deadline.

So I think this may be a nannyshare-context-specific difficulty.

Have you done nannyshares before?

how about asking them if it's ok to just text them before 4.30pm or whenever they have to leave work to let them know you won't be back until 6pm - they can work longer or stop off to pick up some shopping if they are early..

How old are the children? And when is bedtime?

Thanks for your replies. They had a nanny for 4 months that they had to 'let go' due to timekeeping issues (i.e. being late for work, not showing up on 15 days in 2.5 months ).

One of their main concerns with the last nanny was that she didn't take the children out ENOUGH so I think they were very glad to hear that I'm the opposite type of nanny. The mum who e-mailed me this weekend about the 5.45 rule is much more of the 'organised, by-the-book' mum so perhaps I can come up with an informal chat solution like what you've suggested about texting to see if they'll be back early.

I've never done a nannyshare before so we're all sort of feeling each other out at the moment. I suppose since I have always been allowed pretty much free reign insofar as outings/timings in last jobs I'm finding this a bit restrictive.

Thanks both again, very reasonable and helpful responses

The children are a year, they have tea at 5-5.15, bedtime is 7.30.

No, sorry I don't think it's unreasonable to have them home by quarter to six in that case. On the occasional evening it would be fine for me personally, but before school starts there are lots of during the day opportunities to socialise. I can see why they think it's a bit late.

They are 1? How do they benefit from a tea time playdate? They have each other for company but don't really interact as such at that age. If they were school age I would say fair dos. A couple of teatime playdates a week would be fun for them. But IMO I think teatime playdates for 1 year olds are to benefit you not them. And there's plenty of time during the day to get social time in. Teatime is for winding down at that age.

I was asked to take them for tea to a few of their NCT groups' mums and nannies houses as everyone has different activities on in the mornings and afternoons are the only time possible.

Thanks for opinions though.

I would say that it's half reasonable, half restrictive!

It is late for 1 year olds to be out but if that's the only time that others can do then fair enough. OTOH 5.45 is a reasonable time to be home and you might end up travelling in rush hour which is no fun.

Maybe you can 'okay' things with the mothers if you think you'll be late and if they're not due home early then you're allowed to go ahead?

Remember that, more than likely, the mothers will be missing their babies while they're at work, and want to know that if they can make it home early, they will have the company of their (very young) children for a bit of extra time.

I would say it is reasonable. In fact to be honest Iwould ask for them to be back home for 5.30pm at that age.

I feel it's quite reasonable of the parents to expect you to be home at that time of day, given the children are only 1 year old - not in Year 1 of school.
1 year olds at that time of day I find are often grotty, tired and irritable. If the mums are breastfeeding, then often the first thing that happens on arrival home I find is that the child wants a feed... and mum is often keen to do so as well to release the stored up milk.

i would find this restrictive - my finishing time is 6.30 (tho i pick up my mb from station) so if we are out for tea/play date i leave 5.45/6pm depending how far away from the station i am

but if she has db car or db coming home first etc, then yes i would be annoyed if was told had to be back 45mins before finishing INCASE a parent may come home early

tbh i am normally back by 6pm, but its my choice

obv depending where the op mb's work, but surely if they were to want to get home 45mins earlier, then they would be leaving the office 45mins earlier - so to call/text nanny at 5pm and say on the way home

Thanks blondes for understanding my point of view!

Parents work 1 hr away, so will ask them to text me if they feel they will be home early, and will ask if otherwise I can choose when we'll be home. Of course, I balance our outings and activities, I wouldn't be staying out until 6-6.15pm every single day. Oh, and neither mum is breastfeeding.

I have exactly that arrangement with my nanny - if I'm thinking of being home early, I text her to say "Hi, I'm going to be home early today at X time, can you be back?" and she always makes sure that she is. It doesn't happen too often but it works well. x

welcome