New au pair starts next Sat - how do I help her feel welcome?

[FrozenNorth]

Our first au pair joins us next weekend (she'll be helping look after toddler and newborn baby in evenings, taking English course during day). She's Romanian, 22, and seems quiet but lovely. We're frantically trying to sort out her room etc. amid coping with the rather early arrival of the new baby, but I still want to try and make her room as nice for her as possible.

So far we have:

• big new double bed with cushions to double up as sofa-thingy
• desk and chair
• wardrobe arriving on 3rd March (bloody Ikea delivery delayed) but hanging rail as interim measure
• drawers and bookshelves

And this week we are having fitted:

• TV aerial (and TV)

I thought I might add:

• nice pictures on wall
• own kettle
• little welcome gift (don't know what)
• pay as you go mobile with regular addition of credit (or just a PAYG SIM?)
• international phonecard?

Is there anything else I should be including to make her feel more welcome? We haven't got loads of spare income so gym membership or similar is unfortunately not do-able. Do I need to include a laptop for her to use (we have an ancient one that I could set up on her desk)? What do you think a good welcome gift would be - I was thinking of some toiletries and perhaps some chocolate, but wondered if something else might be more appropriate?

Any views or ideas gratefully appreciated.

You sound as if you've made a really welcoming room anyway..

For an idea for a welcome gift we try to give something that will be more personal and a little momento to where they are coming to. Most towns and cities have a 'town mug' and as it's nearly Easter you can also fill it with mini chocolate eggs.. or if it isn't nearly Easter then you can fill it with... mini chocolate eggs! or if its a small mug ;-) then half a dozen sachets of hot chocolate in different flavours. When the tourist info office ran out of local mugs we've also given a guide book to the local area - either a walking book with pub walks or a picture style book.. but this has depended on the interests of the person coming.

We also give a parting gift - usually a print of a local beauty spot as a momento of their time in England.

Hope your new au pair will make it all worth while..

A 'starting kit' of toiletries is nice, as is chocolate! A pair of slippers and a towelling bath robe is also often appreciated, especially if it's a shared bathroom.

A picture on the wall is a good touch to make the room look a bit more lived in and a PAYG mobile is good. She'll probably have one but might want to keep her own SIM going for a while.

Do you have wireless internet? Tell her that there's an old laptop she can use if she hasn't brought her own along and she can skype etc on that.

A map of the town/area is great too.

Definately info on your local area so she doesn't feel to cut off. A lovely bunch of flowers in her room in a vase. It's the personal little things that mean more. The toiletries is a great idea and chocolates To be honest though, you sound caring enough and want her to feel welcome and that goes along way too! Goodluck!

internet access seems to be most important!

I email the parents and ask for a family/friends photograph to be emailed through and then print it and put it into a frame so there are some familiar faces waiting in the room.

diom - i have noticed in your posts that you contact your aps parents. i wonder what the aps think of it? i would personally find it odd it my family asked for that.

frozennorth - i would be thinking twice about the kettle in her room. i am sure you mean it very well and want to spare her walking to the kitchen but it might send wrong signals to her, ie we dont want to see you after you finished working. i know lots of girls have this odd feeling about using public spaces in the house at the beginning even without the kettle. also for a romanian a kettle is probably not that important as it is for the british.
once i had a nice empty picture/photo frame from ikea (a kind that looks like a picture with three slots for a5 photos) in my room which i liked as i could put whatever i wanted (i put postcards in from my family).
i also appreciate maps or guidebooks on local area and bus/train timetable.
you sound like a very nice ap hostfamily, i am sure the ap feels welcome with you.
btw i am sure you've read the food thread

frozennorh - i cant remember where you are? are you in freezing north scotland? i am asking because i work in scotland/near inverness/ in the summer and am always looking for people nearby.

internet access for staying in touch with her family&friends is really important.
You have covered pretty much everything else, I think.

Map of your town?
Bus/train timetables?
Sport facilities, library?

Agree about the kettle, it's a british thing really!

Caterpilarr - I only do it after I have made a job offer. APs don't seem to have a problem, and a couple of APs have actually requested it; as a lone father I need to put the AP's parents minds at rest (APs themselves don't usually see this as a problem).

Find out what she's interested in in advance and search out people/places who can help her pursue her interests. It's disconcerting enough being in a foreign country, without having to work out absolutely everything from scratch. If she likes art or photography or crafts for example, sniff out evening classes for her to go to. She will learn loads of English talking about mutual interest. When she first arrives, be prepared to spend several days focusing on her and being friendly and nurturing. Remember that she is young and in an utterly foreign country! We've had three au pairs and never had a moment's trouble with any of them by treating them kindly. Basically, treat her like your older more independent child/niece. It never ceases to amaze me that people expect young people to travel across the continent to help them for very little money (learning English along the way) and then make them feel unwelcome or unwanted.

Your facilities and preparations for her sound excellent, but a little kindness goes a very very long way with au pairs.

Sorry, not evening classes, day classes in her case! Must read OPs properly before posting...

Does she have a mirror? All of ours have really appreciated the full-length and wall mirrors.

In addition, I would say a bus map/timetable, guide book of the area. Ours also have a dvd and little stereo, although not many of them use them. and we have put a few little baskets/pots around for makeup etc.

Is she bringing her own laptop with her? We would provide a laptop if the au pairs didn't have one of their own.

FrozenNorth is nice to see families that are trying to make an au pair welcome.It is really hard to come in a complete strange country,away from your family and friends.
I am romanian and I can say that for me the most important thing is to be able to communicate with my family.I think you should ask your au pair how is easier for her to keep in touch, because her family might not have access to internet and then a phone card would be usefull.To call landline phonecards are great and also Vectone PAYG simcard charge 3p/m(for landline)to call in Romania.
Where do you leave?If you leave nearby I can probably show her around and help her settle in, I know she will feel like she is on a different planet for the first 2-3 weeks, especially if is the first time when she left her family to go in different country.

*where do you live?
sorry I am half sleeping