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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

How much space does an AP need? Double bedroom, own bathroom?

33 replies

Feierabend · 18/02/2010 08:43

I've been wondering about getting an au pair when DD1 starts school, as I don't want her to go to after school club when she's still that little and not keen on childminders either. We're currently trying to buy a bigger house. If we are going to have an au pair, how big does the house need to be? Will she need her own bathroom, for example, or can she share our family bathroom? Will she be happy with a single bedroom or does it have to be a double? Ideally of course she'd be on her own floor (e.g. converted loft) but our budget won't stretch to a 4 bed house. What does everyone think?

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Feierabend · 18/02/2010 08:45

Oh, also, can au pairs drive to pick children up from school or would it be better to be within walking distance from the school?

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HarrietTheSpy · 18/02/2010 08:50

Our AP has the loft space in our house with her own bathroom. Most of her friends have access to another bathroom apart from the family uses for morning, evening routine, i.e. a downstairs shower room with loo or their own bathroom. Although some of their rooms are "very small" accd to our au pair.

I think it's a question for you as much as the AP. I wouldn't have done it in our old place which had three beds, one bath, and one main living room as you would really be on top of each other. But if you don't mind the idea of spending lots of your time at home potentially with the AP (and THEY don't mind either - think about if they had friends round in the evening where they could socialise) then it might well be fine.

Why aren't you keen on a CM? It wouldn't have worked for us because of my work schedule but if I could find one that would accommodate that, both my kids for part of the time, and was nearer (all big ifs) I would definitely consider it over an AP.

HarrietTheSpy · 18/02/2010 08:51

Sorry was that clear? Most of her friends' families do have two bathrooms and don't share with the AP.

Feierabend · 18/02/2010 09:01

Not keen on CM because I'd prefer dd1 to be in her own home after school. dd2 goes to a lovely nursery so I'd like to keep her there rather than change to CM. And, I'd get a German au pair to help the dds learn German - they are growing up bilingually but dd1 refuses to speak German with me!

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HarrietTheSpy · 18/02/2010 10:14

If you want the language component, it's a good option.

Re the space - a great location could make up for this in principle too. Hopefully others will come along with more thoughts.

Feierabend · 18/02/2010 10:28

Thanks Harriet!

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madcows · 18/02/2010 10:32

Our au pair has a single room (with space for single bed, small desk and wardrobe only), and shares the bathroom that the kids use. That seems to be fine with her. Putting a laptop in there was probably the best thing we did.

Re bilingualism. We tried to find someone willing to speak Dutch, but found it much harder to recruit. Mainly because they are coming here to improve their English! Once we took out of our ad the fact that we wanted them to speak Dutch to the kids, we had a lot more interest (this was on au pair world). In the end we got a Dutch speaker (only fair as dh speaks only dutch to the kids), but she rarely speaks to them in Dutch. (But at least she can read all their story books and watch DVDs together!)
hope this helps.
madcows

Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 18/02/2010 10:32

I have a double sized bedroom and share the family bathroom - there is only 1 bathroom.

HarrietTheSpy · 18/02/2010 10:48

Accd to my AP, our friends French ap was VERY PLEASED they wanted to speak French to her...but madcows has a point.

MuffinToptheMule · 18/02/2010 11:17

When I was an AP I had an absolutely enormous bedroom. However, you don't have to have one so big. I would have been happy with a room a quarter of the size. I shared a bathroom with the children and the parents had a separate bathroom. The most important thing for me was that my bedroom was on a different floor, it really felt like I had my own space.
Also, AP's can drive but you have to factor insurance into your budget - which I think can be quite costly.

frakkinaround · 18/02/2010 12:09

Language-wise the French are a bit special...I know so many girls who want to go and be an au pair but with a French speaking family just so they can go to English classes in England but not have to speak it all the time. I'm trying to gently break it to them it's not that common. Works in my favour if we're in the UK though! It's a similar situation in France - English au pairs often speak English to the children and take French classes. Again works in my favour to support the minority language! Other nationalities I'm not so sure but you might find someone who wants to speak German at home, or at least share some German nursery rhymes or children's games.

I think it's nicer if the AP can share a bathroom with the children and parents have a separate bathroom. I found it a bit weird when I had to share with my employers. Room size IME doesn't really matter as long as there is space somewhere for the AP to relax in. Plus it's quite fun cramming 4 or 5 of you into a tiny room - reminded me of uni!

Insurance for a 'young' driver, on a foreign license can be horrendous so do take that into account. Also the fact that you might want them to take a cuople of driving lessons (with dual controls!) before you let them loose with your car.

TwoCupcakes · 18/02/2010 12:14

When i had APs, they had a single bedroom and had to share the family bathroom (there was only one). It wasn?t ideal as all the bedrooms were next to each other. I would have loved to give her a bigger bedroom with own bathroom but heck, we just didnt have the space. So i made up for it by furnishing it as nicely i could with all the comforts and gave other small treats as well to ease things a bit (bus passes, cinema tickets etc). None ever complained and all seemed very happy as long as they had the all-so-important internet access in their room! I never felt comfortable about all of us sharing the bathroom though. Looking back i think that it was one reason i moved on to employing a live-out nanny. Might go back to APs at some point if we ever move house like we constantly keep hoping!
Re insurance, if AP under 21, insurance can be very high so you may need to shop around to find a provider. Remember seeing a thread on this somewhere here so you might want to do a search on it

Feierabend · 18/02/2010 12:37

Thanks so much for your thoughts everyone! Will try to find a house that's got some private space for a possible future AP then... if we can afford it...

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catepilarr · 18/02/2010 16:31

i found that space doesnt have to be an issue. obviously depends on the people as usual.agree what others have said about a bedroom. with the bathroom i found it is important that both sides /teh family and the ap/ have the same level of expected cleanliness. i worked for families where i wouldnt want to use their filthy bathroom, on teh other hand i worked for a family where we didnt get on too well but sharing bathroom was no problem. i guess it also helps when all the people dont have to get out of the house at once in the morning.

BoffinMum · 18/02/2010 22:53

We have offered:

Large single bedroom with bed, cupboard, desk, chair, TV, internet, share only bathroom.

Smaller single bedroom with same as above, share bathroom with children.

Huge double bedroom with all mod cons, share bathroom with children.

When we offered a small double bedroom with en suite instead of huge double bedroom it was turned down in preference for the extra space. But they were just as happy in the single rooms (similar to what they usually get at home, apparently).

Metrobaby · 19/02/2010 10:14

Our AP's room is a double sized bedroom but only has a single bed with wardrobes, bookcase, chest of drawers, desk and chair. The bathroom is shared but has never been a problem as everyone uses it at different times and we also have a downstairs loo.

I think making sure the AP's room is comfortable and has internet access makes them more likely to enjoy staying in their room. My AP's have said that having a laptop and internet access is more important to them than having their own bathroom. My last AP said she liked her room rather than having a separate floor or annex as it made her feel more part of our family.

catepilarr · 19/02/2010 10:33

sorry a bit of an OT question - what makes a single beromm a single bedroom and a double bedrooom a double bedroom? is it their size? if so, how big are they?

Feierabend · 19/02/2010 13:29

Well, if you can fit a double bed in, it's a double bedroom... that's how I understand it although some estate agents seem to have funny ideas about how big (or rather small) a double bed is!

This is all really useful stuff, thanks!

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Lymond · 19/02/2010 14:09

catepilarr - I think the difference is whether they can comfortably fit a double bed. Personally, I also put our au pairs in a room with a double bed - not doing so felt a bit odd to me, as I wouldn't like to sleep in a single. But neither do I think they need a huge room.

I think it boils down to location - au pairs in cities I'm sure regularly have a single bed in a small room and share a family bathroom. In the country we have to offer more to attract an au pair, and they'll be at home more.

OP - about driving; We've chosen to not let our au pairs drive, as our first ever au pair was a terrible driver - thankfully this was discovered by the instructor we sent her out with for a pass plus course. Always check their driving ability - you'll find many can't cope with driving on the wrong side of the road, roundabouts, and how busy our roads are. If a driver is essential, choose an au pair who has already lived and driven in the UK for a while. (So yes, if a house within walking distance of school is an option, then choose that.)

Romanarama · 19/02/2010 16:45

Ours have always had a single room and own bathroom. I'd be careful about driving - au pairs are young and young people are less careful and have more accidents, on average. One of our au pairs crashed our car twice (luckily not serious though v.expensive). She was 20. I wouldn't let another ap drive.

BoffinMum · 19/02/2010 20:23

I think a minimum size might be in the region of 9ft by 6ft - smaller than that and I can't imagine them wanting to disappear off there in the evening at all.

A bit of imagination with furnishings is helpful - perhaps position and make up the bed so it can act as a bit of a sofa in the daytime, offer a desk and chair for English homework, internet access, and a TV that can also get Freeview, and they're pretty happy. Access to a printer is a definite bonus.

Emster30 · 19/02/2010 20:37

Just to add my opinion on the language issue - I was an au pair 12 years or so ago now for a German family who had just moved from London to Switzerland. The children were growing up bilingual (soon turned to trilingual when they learnt Swiss German!) so they specifically wanted an English au pair. It was fab for me as my German was very basic when I arrived and wouldn't really have been up to scratch for interacting with children. I did pick it up quickly though and spoke it with the parents after a few months. The kids would never speak to me in German though!

Sorry, that is v irrelevant.

Feierabend · 20/02/2010 08:45

That's okay then because the house we're interested in has a 10x7 bedroom

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millarkie · 20/02/2010 09:33

Our au pair room is a 'double' size but we replaced the double bed with a large single so we could fit in more storage furniture and a desk. It has an en-suite shower/loo.
We do let the au pair drive our car (insurance is expensive!), but they don't need to do the school run (kids have school bus), having said that, once the au pair is happy driving we have asked them to drive the kids places (sports clubs after-school etc). All of our au pairs have been confident drivers, although all of them have burst a car tyre at some point (hitting the kerb on the 'wrong-side'), and one has scratched the car driving past an SUV in a narrow lane.
We also find it important that their room has tv and internet, so they can entertain themselves in their own space in the evenings.

bubblerock · 20/02/2010 10:18

Our aupair had the top bunk in DS1's room!! lol

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