Au pairs and food

[neva]

What do you do if you find your au pair has specific dietary requirements (which she did not tell you about in her application)? I provide bread, cheese, fruit, tomatoes, yoghurt etc for her lunches, but instead of eating these she eats foods such as pasta and vegetables. This is a problem because these foods are intended for our evening meals, and my budget doesn't run to keeping the fridge full of the fresh organic veg which she prefers.

I tend to think that ap should accept what is provided (when I was an au pair, I would never have dreamt of asking my family to provide special food for me!) Am I being unreasonable? Ideas welcome. Many thanks.

If I was an AP and thought I was going to live with a 'healthy eating' family, but was begrudged veg and pasta, and left chips and chicken nuggets to eat, I'd go home - I think you're being really unreasonable.

Caterpillar, that's horrible! Reminds me of the Filippino housekeeper I knew in Hong Kong who worked for friends of mine. She packed up food after dinner and sneaked it around to her friend working for another family in the building, who was only allowed to eat leftovers, and so had nothing to eat if there weren't any. She was literally starving. Shocking.

btw I wouldn't eat chips and chicken nuggets either. We make very varied and good quality home-cooked food, which I think should be acceptable. But I think it's v.unreasonable to expect someone to eat processed food and leave the veg.

I also think it´s unreasonable to expect her to eat just bread for lunch and junk in the evening.

Almost all other countries (even poor ones!) do a hot lunch (doesn´t have to be fancy, can be cabbage soup, or pasta with veg).

I don´t understand that you think veg is expensive. You can surely afford a few potatoes, carrots, cabbage, leek? Seasonal stuff?? Doesn´t have to be organic avocados and asparagus!!

I think YABU.

She should accept eating seasonal veg though.

Poor AP, she must be horrified at British eating habbits....

With £2.50 you buy a huge bag of organic frozen broccoli and a bag of organic frozen spinach (frozen veg is actually good)This is plenty to last 2-3 weeks to add to pasta or rice. Plus some carrots or culiflower, or tomatoes and salad leaves here and there. Can come to maximum £5 per week! Considering that you pay an AP very little on the basis that you provide bed and food this makes you very unreasonable. Some of us pay £50 for one evening babysitting (plus snacks or pizza). Work it out.

It is pasta she asked for, not caviar

Aldi do brilliant pasta, pasta sauces and veg, seriously. Well up there with the standard of Waitrose but half the price. I would do a big stock up shop there and let her get on with it.

I would also not enjoy eating chips and chicken nuggets. I also hate sandwiches and have a hot lunch at work with a bit of salad and another hot meal in the evening, otherwise I whack the weight on and I am starving hungry the whole time. I think pasta's a pretty reasonably lunchtime meal, tbh.

to be honest, i can't see how wanting to eat VEG for lunch is a terribly fussy thing

i really want to know what country this AP is from but she must think that Britain is VERY odd - i do think we should make some compromises, afterall when i go abroad i only eat the aspects of their food that i can stomach (e.g. i can't stand rye bread, i can't eat curry for breakfast (india) or fish soup (japan) and couldn't eat them for a year)

There is absolutely no way I would ever eat oven ready chips and chicken, etc. And I do work and usually don't get home until 6.30 pm or 7.

I also think it is unreasonable not to be able to offer some things that your au pair enjoys eating - especially if she is making them herself. Most of our au pairs have been adept at making a huge saucepan of vegetable soup with rice/noodles and veg that lasts them a few days.. It costs almost next to nothing and they sometimes wave round an old chicken leg from Sunday lunch in it a few times to make it tastier.!

All the au pairs we've had from central Europe have all wanted bigger breakfasts and lunches, and not been into big dinners we tend to have in the early evening. They seem horrified that we fill up at that time of night without the time to then burn off the calories..

If it was your daughter going away to stay with people in another country, what would you want them to offer her.. I usually try to think along those lines..

You can't make a grown woman eat the things you want her to eat.

I personally would be really disappointed with a cheese and tomato sandwich for my lunch every day, and would be appalled at being expected to eat oven chips, pizza and 'best quality' breaded chickenshit at what someone insists is my only hot meal of the day.

I don't think youi need to examine her eating habits, you need to examine yours.

i found even more discussions about aps and food, if anyone wants to read here
aupairmom.com/groceries-how-much-extra-can-your-au-pair-ask-you-to-buy/2009/07/03/celiaharquail/

metro baby has a good line on it i think. This is the person looking after your babies. Quite frankly if it was me that was your aupair i would be pretty annoyed if you started to dictate my diet on the basis that pasta and veg was too much out of your way.And i definatly would not eat 'easy food' as you describe it not part of my culture to eat that kind of food and would be pretty upset to have this expected of me in my 'home'. my type of easy food involves quickly made soup/pasta rice with veg or something definatly NOT breaded frozen chicken.

They are now part of your household and even though they are employees you have also said that this is to be their home while they are with you. Pasta and veg is not an extravgent expectation to have avalible in your home. and at the end of the day you want them happy in your employment and as a result offering good care to your little ones.