super destruction baby!!

[woahthere]

Hi there, I have just started childminding a 1 year old boy. He really is a lovely thing, Im very fond of him....BUT he is wildly destructive. He is very strong for a 1 year old and is running about everywhere. Thats fine...its exhausting but I can cope. The problem is he just runs from one thing to anouther chucking things around...even very heavy things! This morning he picked up a dolls house and threw it...hes like the flippin avocado baby! My poor son is bearing the brunt of him also because he keeps smacking...like really violently in his face...sometimes he does it with a toy in his hand. He has no sense of 'no' yet (obviously he is only 1.) My son (AGE 2) is getting so upset, and the other children are too, they cant seems to escape from him, I even bore the brunt myself this morning he pinched and sank his teeth into me at the same time. Im a very patient person and have been used to very active inquisitive children but honestly this one needs to be seen to be believed. Its very hard because my son is now running away from him as soon as he gets here and he is very loving boy usually. So far I keep trying to jump in as soon as he starts smacking and I hold him firmly, say no and then remove him adn sit him away. I keep doing this everytime but I dont restrain him. Will this work on a 1 year old, how long will it take? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi woahthere I'm not sure if this will be any help as I think we may have differing opinions but...

If this were a child I would firmly and with a "cross face" being telling this child "no". I have seen children as young a 5/6 months stop what they are doing when they hear this; not so much they understand the word but more they understand the tone the word is used in.

If he is throwing say something like "X we don't throw the dolls, we play with them like this. Dolls are not for throwing, but balls are good for throwing; shall we get you a ball" then distract. It may take a while but will work. If he is throwing things in a dangerous manner (ie something big and heavy which could hurt other children) I would use more of a cross tone. If he throws something 3 times repeatedly after you have told him not to take it off him whilst explaining that we don't throw X.

If he is biting and pinching I would say "no X, we do not bite/pinch etc" and pick him up and move him away to play with something else and then give the injured child a quick cuddle and explain that biting is not allowed and that X is only little and he doesn't know that biting isn't very nice yet, but not to be scared of him etc.

When he comes back into play make sure he is engaged in something as sometimes they just repeat the behaviour as they didn't truly understand what happened last time and want to investigate your response again.

I'm quite strict in some peoples opinions so this may not work for everyone. Do you have a behaviour management policy what does it say? You could also talk to his parents and see how they manage his behaviour. It could also be an environmental thing, could he be overwhelmed at yours do you think? Do you have lots of things going on at once?

HTH, good luck with him I'm sure he will settle soon enough.

Not differing opinion at all, I have been doing this to a certain extent, I am quite strict myself. I do have a behaviour management policy but this is the first time Ive actually had to put into place really! I think its just going to take some time. I do try and make sure he is engaged in something but its quite difficult really because all he wants to do is play with the other children but he is just too young. What was happening the other day was that as soon as he started bashing I would jump in there say sternly 'no we dont smack its not nice whislt I held his hands, then I picked him up and moved him to the other side of the room. I would show him something else to play with but hes like a rubber ball! He just bounces right back to them. He is difficult to engage for long periods of time, hes just all over the place. The same with the throwing things, I did exactly what you said, he was throwing heavy things so for some time me and one of other mindees were trying to show him how it should be played with and physically putting his hands on it to show him but as soon as you move away he chucks it again. So then we said we would put it away and fetched him a ball and explained that he could throw a ball...but he wasnt interested, he stopped that and then went over to my son and started bashing him again!

Thanks for your advice, At leaast I know Im doing the right thing and I have told the parents exactly whats happening and how Im dealing with it and they said they will remain consistent with it at home which is great to have the support.

I had one like this and tried everything normally recommended - I'm afraid nothing worked and eventually the parents swapped to a nursery. For the sake of your other mindees and DS I would set a limit on how long you're prepared to try. In the meantime a room separator (Lindam convertible hexagonal playpen/room separator has a gate in it) might be helpful in that you can keep the others safe when you cannot directly supervise.

Oh no, I hope it wont come to that, that hadnt entered my mind really! What would nursery do that we cant as childminders, do you know? I have planned already to bring my spare travel cot down to use if I need it. I had considered one of those room seperator before, will have a look on e-bay!

Well, nursery doesn't have to do the school run, which would help as mindee was aggressive to the other occupant of the double buggy or other little one walking beside it. I think the nursery could probably be stricter as they're not in the public view so much. But how they got on in the long term I don't know. Had looked after mindee since a baby and was challenging from the start - mindee left at about 2 years old - whether they would have eventually grown out of it I don't know. I've had some lovely babies since.

woahthere yes it does sound like you are trying everything just keep repeating it's just a phase!

Don;t know hoe practical this would but could you set up 1 activity at a time so that the children are only playing with / able to handle 1 thing at a time. He may be overloaded? Or if the bigger children are doing things he can't really join in with (like a jigsaw) can you put the jigsaw up on the table and let the little one play with a baby style puzzle? Or put the baby in a highchair where he can see the jigsaw and get him to "hand out" the pieces, or give him something else to do while in the highchair? That might just make him cross though?

Hi guys, thanks for replies. The little one is not destructive in an aggressive way...he is always smiling away. What seems to happen is that the children will be doing their activity on the table and he will come along and stand there smacking the side of them whilst they do it whci h they dont like. He does not like sitting in his high chair at all. At meal times i HAVE TO FEED HIM AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE AND DISTRACT HIM WITH SOME OTHER CUPS OR SPOONS OR SOMETHING. aS SOON AS HE LOSES INTEREST HE CRIES AND WRIGGLES TO GET OUT. iF i GAVE HIM A BABY STYLE PUZZLE HE WOULD NOT takeAN INTERest N IT, HE WOULD PICK IT UP AND THEN THROW IT ACROSS THE ROOM. tHIS IS THE PROBLEM REALLY, i HAVE SOME AMAZING TOYS BUT THE ONLY WAY HE SEEMS TO HAVE OF EXPLORING THEM IS BY FIRST STICKING THEM IN HIS MOUTH AND THEN THROWING THEM ACROSS THE ROOM. Sorry just wrote that all in caps cant be bothered to redo it sorry!

Sounds like he is in a scattering schema. Arrange activities that support it

and trajectory schema. SOrry haven't had my coffee yet

Ha ha, now if you could just explain that to me then! Never mind, i'll google it! x

Thats cool, have just had a quick look, will have a better look later, I will defo try and do lots of things to support that, but it is still alright to say no to the things hes not supposed to be throwing right? i.e cars, houses etc. I fancy getting one of those active world trays so I can fill it up and sit him in the middle of it with jelly or oats or something! Great fun!

woahthere yes IMO it is perfectly acceptable to say that something aren't for throwing he will have to learn it at some point.

Those active world trays are great I actually bought a builder tuff spot from screw fix for £12!

oh my god, dh is going to be chuffed that we have an excuse to go to screwfix tomorrow. I bet he wont believe it when i say 'can we go to screwfix' thanks!!

Nothing more to add on the behaviour aspect but I got my two tuffspots off Ebay from this person here and they're brilliant, exactly the same as the Active World trays or whatever they're called. I've used mine for flour play and to make pretend puddles on our patio. They're big, I had a 16m/o and a 9m/o sitting in one at the same time and they were happy!