nanny's expenses

[nannyQnamechange]

Sorry, am regular but have namechanged as usual talk name is a give-away!

We have a fantastic p/t nanny who has been with us for almost a year. DD adores her, and we feel very lucky to have found her. I am very keen not to rock the boat, however am just a little at latest expenses claim.

I feel that we have been fairly generous re expenses and do not usually limit these in any way, i.e. nanny decides which groups to take DD to, arranges fun outings etc and we pay. We live in a rural area, so mileage is often quite high, but I have never questioned this before or asked nanny to keep it down (even though I would secretly like to), as I know she prefers to get out and about with DD.

However, last week she submitted an expenses claim which inlcuded 46 miles into the city and back and lunch for her and DD for what was essentially a shopping trip for her. She had said that she had a wedding coming up and had to get an outfit and a few other bits and pieces, and did I mind if she took DD into the city with her to do this during work hours. I have no real issue with this as a one-off (and regularly sanction trips to the local shops), but really, although I know she'll have tried to make it as interesting as possible for DD, no part of the trip was for DD's benefit, and as far as I am aware there were no toddler-friendly activities incorporated.

I was taken aback to notice that she expected us to pay her mileage (at 40p / mile) and for her lunch for this trip. Am I being unreasonable? Any suggestions on how to handle this? I really don't want to get into an argument with her, but don't want her to think I'm a total pushover and she can just take the p'. I wondered if it might be easier to set a weekly mileage "not to be exceeded without agreement" limit rather than borach this specific issue, or is this being weak? I know fine well that my employers would have something to say if I tried to claim mileage for a personal shopping trip in work time!

Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

I think it is difficult to give a set amount, it really depends on what you can afford and where you live and what the nanny and dc's are doing. Think about your knowledge of costs of entry/lunch at different softplay places for example - there are two near us and prices at the cafes at each differ wildly. If you only want them to do cheaper activities/find free drop ins/take packed lunches rather than buying when out, say so. Also I would expect winter to be more expensive than summer when more time can be spent outside in park/garden.

OP, yanbu!

My nanny has a £50 float for the week, however, she also has an expenses book and she writes in there as she goes along how the many is spent and puts the receipts in there as well. That's what any employee would have to do in a normal business (unless you're an MP!) so I have done this from the very beginning. It means that while I am perfectly happy for her to "treat" herself from the float and she does do so, that she doesn't take the mick.

a weekly amount is hard, some weeks we spend £20 others nothing apart from £1 car park and others £40

doing a monthly amount like strix is a good idea, she can budget and decide what she wants to do/pay for out of it

as i said i get a credit card, handy for shopping/petrol (i get a works car) dry cleaning, shoe (for children) shopping/haircuts etc

and obv mb/db can see excalty where and what i spent,and i put all receipts in pot, though tbh they never look at them and db said to throw in bin

Maria, as others said it depends on your budget, location etc. In your case it is 3 days a week and in London so i think £20 is ok. Some weeks she will have play dates (no cost), other times a cuppuccino and cake and other weeks lunch (which is fine occasionally but not every day). Once in a while she will spend more if she goes day trips (london zoo etc). As blondes said it evens out during the month.

I think it is a myth that nannies want a 3 course lunch at restaurant every day. When i was SAHM i was not eating out every day. As long as you provide lunch at home, your cupboard has a packet of bicuits for the playdates and your fridge has cheese or ham for s/w's and a picnic in the park...

"I think it is a myth that nannies want a 3 course lunch at restaurant every day."

It certainly wasn't a myth for my previous nanny. My current one has eaten out maybe twice a year, with vouchers... it really depends. I don't think you can make assumptions if you don't want to be surprised later.

As a nanny/MN who works for an extremely lovely family. I am allowed on occasion to go on a shopping trip or lunch with a friend (not a play date).. and I certainly wouldn't dream of charging for my travel costs (miles or tube) I would make sure I took a picnic for the child/baby and for myself I would also not charge for lunch, or take stuff from home (as lunch is part of the job whatever the activity) but to bill you for such a large mileage trip which you didn't ask her to do is out of order!!

I think you should politely say: "I didn't mind you taking x with you shopping as part of the working day, as its nice for him/her to do different things but I cannot accept it as an expense other than his/her lunch as it wasn't something that needed doing for her/his benefit"

I think thats kind, polite and blunt enough.

I am allowed to put coffee/cake/lunch etc as expenses but really rarely ever do as I feel its not necessity for myself and not healthy either!! I think nannies need to realise a good family (like yourself) and not take the p! X

I work for the rich, professional and famous family. From the beginning of my work with this family, they told me that they don't pay for traveling with a child. I am NOT counting my commuting to work and from work.Only my working hours I spent over £ 2000 on my oyster card my money . They Never offered me to pay for the trips, for example to museums play dates ,Library ,for any activities they child goes too. And is far to walk I have to use public transport.Is this is normal ??

Nanny1234 no that would not be normal but it could be agreed to which may have happened in your case if you have been working for the family for a while.

This post is 4 years old!

nanny nick I agreed because I didn't have choice . I cant force child to walk everywhere , especially for activities after school located miles from school and home+ I got another responsibility's at they house, that I have to travel to safe time. Just I wanted to know if anyone got same experience with family not to pay for travel expenses as me????

Though this thread is 4yrs old - how do they get resurrected ......

Rem replying about the wedding dress saga

Regards travel - family pay for it. Have in contract that family pay for everything during working hours whether food /drink / petrol / entrance fees / travel etc

Why would you agree to paying your own travel when it is for the child needs?

Blondeshavemorefun Thanks for reply. This family never pay or offer to pay for travel for the child needs in my working hours.
One day I help my self to use they milk from the fridge , next day I had warning letter for not to use or eat they food. I am not allowed to eat or help my self with they food from they fridge . Even I bought my own tea, coffee and milk .I am cooking at my own home my own lunch and eating at work.

Nanny1234 - why so you stay there? Or are you looking for another job?

Blondeshavemorefun good advice thanks, did you find this strange ?

I totally agree with Blondes as always.you should be reimbursed for all meals ,trips,petrol..In fact every thing you spend while at work ..obviously that is for the children.You should also have at least one meal at work or if out with the children .I get breakfast,lunch and often something in the evening if working late.Usually employers ask if there iis anything nannies like to eat.As Blondes said you should be looking for another job.they are totally taking advantage of you.Waves to Blondes.

eurycantha thanks for reply. Totally agree and I know they taking advantage of me but same time's is so hard and communicate with rich and famous people . Not only they are materialistic but they treat you like 's' no respect for ordinary person , mean , no heart. Sad. :-( in they WORLD only money matters.

Hi OP.

Time to set rules for outings and expenses generally. I always had nannies and found that where rules were not clear, conveniently the nanny went overboard until being told what is the limit.

From what you describe, I think she did realize that this trip had nothing to do with work, but decided to expense it anyway…and if you pay without saying anything, this will happen again.