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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM doing own things?

26 replies

MNingatmidnight · 30/01/2010 15:41

I have had my 1st CM for about 3 months now. She colelcts my son (6) after school 3 days a week and has him there til 6pm.

I have a question... Son told me he's been to the hospital and waited a while and then CM saw the doctor there. Then he went back to hers for late tea and I collected him. I chatted with her at collection time and she didn't mention this.

Now, I realsie if ds were young or if he were there all day then she'd have to dop normal everyday things with him, but I'm a little annoyed she seems t just take him along as she would if he weren't there. I'm paying her to have him and she took him to sit in the waiting room rather than hium havinga nice play and a relaxing evening at her house - and then didn't even tell me?

Ds is very tired after school and what if she makes a habit of dragging him into town, to the shops etc for her own personal errands.

If this a normal thing for CM's to do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

xoxcherylxox · 30/01/2010 15:47

i usually tend to take the children to appointments with me to save having to tell them parents i cant take them that day. however i do usually do it during school hours so that its only the little ones i am taking as i wouldnt like the idea of lots of little 1s and after school children coming with me. occasionally though when my daughter has maybe not been herself that day and i just phone and get a last minute appointment for docs and if they happen to give me a time when i have the school kids then so be it they need to come with me.

GhoulsAreLoud · 30/01/2010 15:49

It wouldn't bother me at all if my c/m did this as long as it wasn't every week.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 30/01/2010 15:51

A hospital appointment is different though as it isn't one that is made the same day.

She should have told you and I would ask her to tell you next time she takes your son anywhere after school.

Original poster

MNingatmidnight · 30/01/2010 15:55

I was asking if it was a normal thing for CM's to do, rather than if it would bother you personally.

I think that I just see it as if I were ill then I'd have to book my appointments around my working hours, so why shouldn't see. Obviously in an emergency it's different, but our placxes are open late evenings and at the weekends, she could have gone then. So if she were that ill she should have called and I'd have got someone else to collect ds from school. He is usually far to tired forlong walks and being dragged to the doctors isn't what I am paying her for. He then got a rather quick and boring tea, due to her having no time to cook ?I'd assume. I also find it odd that she didn't tell me.

Id like to hear from any other CM's / parents who use CM's. No offence meant Cheryl but from previous posts of yours I have found your views and ways of working as a childminder less than average.

OP posts:

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 30/01/2010 15:57

She went to the hospital though - not the doctor. It makes it different in my eyes.

GhoulsAreLoud · 30/01/2010 16:00

Oh, ok, I'll butt out then.

Sorry, just trying to reassure you but clearly not welcome.

Original poster

MNingatmidnight · 30/01/2010 16:01

Oh sorry, that was rude of me - sorry ghouls,

OP posts:

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 30/01/2010 16:03

Why haven't you asked the CM?

For all you know it could be something very urgent and personal (EPU as an example)

My DC went to a childminder briefly and it wouldn't have bothered me at all. In fact she took DS to her 21 week scan.

TheFallenMadonna · 30/01/2010 16:03

"No offence meant"...?!

Anyway - you can find out from your son what he does after school I would imagine. If she is ferrying him around the place, then have a word perhaps.

xoxcherylxox · 30/01/2010 16:07

no offence taken but just wanted to point out i actually have a very good grade (outstanding being the highest and hard to get) i also make clear through my policies and talking to parents that my setting is very home from home centered and although we do planned activities we do alot of things that you would do at home with mummy or daddy.

just to add sometimes with hospital appointment you can wait upto a month for you appointment and just have to take what your given not as easy as making a doc appointment to suit yourself.

nbee84 · 30/01/2010 16:09

I would be ok with this if it wasn't a regular thing and that she had checked with me beforehand that it was ok. I find it a little odd that she didn't. If it was an emergency appointment (maybe the hosp had a cancellation and called her?) then I find it a bit odd that she didn't mention it afterwards - after all 6 year olds are quite capable of telling Mum where they have been. Maybe it was for something quite personal and she felt it awkward to tell you in case you asked a question that she did not want to answer??

squiby2004 · 30/01/2010 16:14

she may work mon - fri 7-7 I don't but there are plenty of CM's that do.

A CM is a home from home environment and sometimes that will include things like Drs and Dentists, its actually a good learning tool if used in the correct way and makes a good starting point for discussions about why you might have to go and what may happen while you are there. I have taken my mindees where it has been unavoidable. I am sure my parents would rather that than force them to take a day off as well to accommodate a quick appt!

gingernutlover · 30/01/2010 16:21

I think she should have mentioend it was going to happen (or told you it had happened if a last minute appointment) but maybe she had had a busy and stressfull day. I'm sure she wouldn't have chosen that time for an appointment but probably just ended upw ith it and would ahve to wait weeks for another.

Sounds perfectly normal practice, just that I would question that she didnt tell you about it.

atworknotworking · 30/01/2010 16:30

I try to make regular checks like dentist etc during my annual leave, personally I would rather not have to take mindees to a doctors appt, sometimes though it is unavoidable as its a very much take the one your'e given kind of thing. However I would ask parents if they minded first, if it was something private then I would have to take time off.

Think yourself lucky your son didnt go with her for a fake tan session

HSMM · 30/01/2010 16:31

I took the children with me to get my flu jab. All the parents knew we were going and knew it was going to be a learning experience. The children saw me get the injection and saw that it didn't hurt (but it did). The nurse was lovely and answered all their questions. But ... as I said - I cleared it with their parents first and they weren't left in the waiting room. If the parents had not been happy I would have had to re-schedule.

(picture the scene the next day when the children were looking for the hole in my arm )

looneytune · 30/01/2010 16:40

Haven't read the whole thread but I don't think that's on at all. I'm a CM and yes, have had appointments with mindees with me, when I was pregnant with ds2 I took mindees with me for checks, some saw me have blood tests etc etc. I saw it as an educational thing for them tbh BUT I NEVER took anyone without speaking to parents first. I've had a few start very young (5 wks and a couple at 8 wks) and some of these parents were very wary of germs in Drs/Hospitals and would rather I didn't take them so I'd do what I could but due to the long hours, sometimes it was impossible to make appointments outside of working hours and therefore the parent chose to let me take them or they'd collect early/drop off late (refunded of course).

So I think it's fine to take children to things like this IF the parent is ok with it. I don't ask parents permission to go off and do ANYTHING related to childminding (i.e. shopping for arts and crafts items) but if it's PERSONAL then I ask!!

PacificDogwood · 30/01/2010 16:40

My 3 DSs have been going to the same CM for >6 years. And yes, on occasion, she has taken one or the other to dr's or dentist's appointment. She has them 4 days a week so her time without them is limited.

I do not mind, mainly because the whole reason I chose a CM as my child carer was whole "home from home" concept. If they were at home with me all day, they would have to come along as well. IMO, this gives them a wider view of the world and it is how children learn.

I would query more why she did not mention it...? Maybe it was something personal. Not sure about that one.

Tryharder · 30/01/2010 16:44

Agree with you on all counts: she should have had the courtesy to tell you beforehand and check you didn't mind. Presumably if it were a one-off, you wouldn't have! But as a general rule, if I were paying a childminder an hourly rate to look after my children, I would expect the needs and comfort of my children to take priority. I don't schedule personal appointments for when I am at work so generally wouldn't expect a CM to either.

nbee84 · 30/01/2010 16:50

Did your ds go in to the consultation with her, or did he sit outside whilst she saw the doctor? If the latter then as a registered cm she is not allowed to leave him alone.

thebody · 30/01/2010 17:18

my daughter broke her wrist last month and I had to take her and 3 littlies with me for a check xray..

I would have loved to have taken a siki and told the parents I couldnt mind that day but I didnt, I took them all with me, parents were aware, and had a nightmare 3 hour wait.

My daughter is 10 and needed me. I couldnt really support her as much as she needed as I had the mindees.

not complaining as its my paid job but just a quick reminder to parents that cms often have to put their own kids last.. its not easy...

TheFallenMadonna · 30/01/2010 17:46

I think parents who use childminders tend to understand the problems that come with being a working parent.

minderjinx · 31/01/2010 13:58

Is it possible she didn't mention it because she thought your six year old would tell you all about it anyway?

minderjinx · 31/01/2010 14:13

Oops - hit button too soon!

I think it is reasonable to take a child of that age to a medical appointment if it's unavoidable, or if the alternative would be to take babies and toddlers - and as others have said, you are not given the luxury of picking and choosing your appointment times in many areas. Maybe she genuinely thought that was more helpful to you than taking the day off. But I think she should have offered you that choice, rather than assuming, unless it was a very last minute or emergency thing.

She can hardly imagine that your six year old would not mention it, so is presumably not being underhand, so if it does bother you, I think you should raise it to make sure you are on the same wavelength about what is and is not acceptable, and what you would want to be consulted about

WeWantYourDoofDoofs · 31/01/2010 22:12

Just ask her - problem solved without needing to offend posters on here who were only trying to help.

WeWantYourDoofDoofs · 31/01/2010 22:12

Cheryl I think you've been very gracious considering the OPs comment to you, way to hold your head up high

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