Childminders WWYD? (not childcare related)

[ficam]

Hello, Im a childminder and I will be having IVF treatment in March. Our clinic is almost an hours drive away and I didnt realise until recently that treatment involves lots of very short notice appointments for scans and blood tests that might only be arranged a day in advance.

Everyone always says that the way to make IVF work is to be relaxed about it but the issue of having to take all this time off and what to tell the parents is really worrying me.

I dont want to tell anyone we're having this treatment as I feel it puts extra pressure on and dont want all the pity and awkwardness if it doesnt work.

Also I cant book a whole block of time off as I dont know the exact start date of treatment yet and cant afford to take 5 or 6 weeks off.

Please help.

I understand how difficult this could be.

In all honesty, I don't feel you can offer a reliable Childminding service if you're having to cancel the kiddies at a days notice.
I really think you'll have to prioritise and decide whether or not you can give the IVF 100%.

I can see how you don't wan tto tell the parents, but if you were cancelling my child at short notice, I'd be looking elsewhere.
Do you have a back up minder who could help out at short notice?

Sorry, not been much help have I?

Good luck.

I made the very hard decision to not have IVF because of this reason. I can't afford to give notice/lose my mindees to an infilling CM and can't afford unpaid time off.

Breaks my heart.

Tricky situation. I think you have to choose between the awkwardness of people knowing or the awkwardness of closing without explaining to parents why.

If you give parents no explanation, they will assume you are not the reliable cm they hoped you'd be. If you give a vague reason like "going for checkups" they might make assumptions perhaps thinking you are pregnant or that you might be gravely ill.

Personally, I would first find out if any colleagues would be able to offer temporary/ad-hoc care and then speak to each parent individually, in private. I think you have a better chance of people staying if you are open and honest. If they know what's going on and have time to sort out back up options you might keep everyone on board.

Good luck.

Thanks for your replies. It is such a difficult one and I think I am just panicking a bit prematurely at the moment as I wont know exactly what the treatment will entail til I have my set up appointment in 2 weeks time. I've heard of people taking very early morning appointments and getting back in time for work, so that could be a possibility, if not I will probably just tell the truth.

I think Im just a control freak and this isnt something Im going to have much control over so Im trying to plan everything else around it.

Wewantyourdoofdoofs- sorry you had to make that descision, it must have been very hard, and still must hurt. I am definitely doing the IVF as I have looked after other peoples children for 12 years, Im not letting the opportunity pass to have my own.

Thanks again.

Appts for IVF can be very short notice, a friend was often called at 8am to be there asap and literally had to drop everything and hop on a train. I think it has to do with if the eggs are ready to be implanted or not, so you may well have a call a couple of days beforehand to say when they think they may be ready, it was havoc with work for her but she was committed 100%, I get the feeling that you are too, would it be possible for you to take a few months off initially?

I agree that as a parent I would be a bit put out if last min appointments happend too often.

Good luck

Hi Ficam.

Do you know any other childminders who could help you out to cover your mindees if/when needed? Would you then be able to let your parents know what is happening and see if they would be happy with that? As a parent I would be very understanding and as a fellow childminder I would be happy to help.

I know you would prefer not to tell people your private business but think in the circumstances it may be the only way?

Good luck with the IVF.

The only way for us was to take a 6 week break from work but I simply cannot afford to do that right now so it's on the very very back burner - I don't ever see us being in a financial position to do it with having to self fund too. Plus our nearest centre is 2 hours away.

Sorry to hear that wewantyourdoofdoofs. We are lucky and are getting one NHS funded cycle so we dont want to let the opportunity pass.

I have got another minder I know just down the road, so could talk to her, I hadnt really thought of that but could be an answer if I will only be gone for 2-3 hours of the morning. The whole thing only lasts about 4 weeks with only one of the weeks being last minute scans, so its not too bad. I am going to book the final 2 weeks off as holiday as that is when you find out if it has worked so I would rather be stress and child free those weeks! I will be able to inform the parents in advance of that so it might not be too bad.

I will tell the parents if and when necessary, I know they'll be understanding but it just puts the pressure on a bit nore!

I'll wait now til my first appointment as they might be able to give me an idea of the timings and dates.

Thanks again for the replies and suggestions.