Eeek! Nanny who was on maternity leave and said she wasn't coming back now wants to come back and we already have a replacement!

[AlFreshco]

Our nanny went on maternity leave last year. We arranged for another nanny to join us when she went on leave. The new nanny knew our other nanny had gone on maternity leave.

Old nanny met new nanny and told her she wasn't going to come back. She also wrote us a letter to say the same but that she'd like her maternity pay week by week (as she was entitled to).

I am still paying that now.

I have called her a few times to check how she is and there was no indication of her wanting to come back.

She has now called me, today, and told me she wants to come back to work. She says she will be flexible on dates but basically she wants to return in the next few months.

I have 3 months notice in the contract of new nanny.

I am pleased old nanny wants to come back but I do feel dreadful for new nanny who was under the impression this was a permanent job because of old nanny saying she wasn't coming back. I assume I can just write her a letter saying we are ending your employement and here is 3 month's notice but I do feel bad about it.

Also, can old nanny dictate when she comes back? Because the way it is looking like it will work is that there will be a month when both nannies are working for us (i.e. I will have to pay both as new nanny goes on leave for 2 weeks in March, pre booked ages ago and I was going to have to find cover then anyway so new nanny might as well start then which would, if I gave 3 months notice today, mean I was paying 2 nannies for around 4-5 weeks )

Sorry, wrong OP name...

Was v confused just then! I wasn't aware I'd acquired a nanny....

.

so AlFreshco what are you going to do

who are you going to choose

i feel you really want original no 1 nanny and her baby?

AlFreshco I think you should def being reducing nanny 1 salary if she returns with her child, you should also create that as a new job with a trial period.

Nanny 1 could perhaps come and do a 2 week "keeping in touch" thing whilst nanny 2 is on leave, I believe it is possible to do 10 days work "keeping in touch" work without it affecting your rights to maternity pay.

Nanny 1 could then return to the job after nanny 2 has left it will also help nanny 1 and you see how it is going to work with having her baby in tow.

AlFreshco - be aware that when a nanny brings her own baby with her, this is an arrangement that can work well, BUT, she is not going to be able to do as much for your children as before - you have to accept she will be spending a lot of time feeding her baby, changing nappies, comforting the baby, etc. and certain activities (e.g. swimming, etc) may not be possible.

I'd be v worried that nanny1 didn't really want to be a nanny any longer (and clearly didn't miss the kids that much if she continually said she didn't want to return) but is back purely for financial need. That would concern me as I wouldn't be confident the care was the same as before, even disregarding the issue of nanny's child complicating things for her in terms of doing the role well.

What happens when nanny2 has gone and nanny1 decides that she doesn't like it after all!?

Offer paycut and new start date for new role, if nanny2 will go quietly, and if you think nanny1 is really committed otherwise stick with nanny2.

Alfreshco, are you planning another baby? If so, when? Consider whether your nanny1 would be able to look after 3 children at that point. The advantage of having a nanny is she looks after your brood with no increase in costs. That is, provided she can and will.

Agree with facebook about the question over nanny1's commitment to the job and your family. It is nanny1's first child. A lot of things may have changed in her mind between the time she started her maternity leave and now that could cause ambivalence.

There is no way that the OP can stop nanny1 returning to work. All she can do to test that is whether nanny1 will return without her own child, which would be quite unfair if the OP has said she will already accept nanny1 with child back. The only possible test then is to decrease nanny1's salary.

IMO, OP, you need to find out ASAP how serious nanny1 is about returning to work. Then you can deal with giving nanny2 her notice, handover period, using nanny2's 2 weeks holiday as 'keeping in touch' time and negotiations about own child.

If you really want nanny1 but feel the own child thing is going to be an issue could you suggest to her that she does 3 days with own child and 2 days without to enable your DCs to do X activity which wouldn't be possible if nanny had her child too.

frankkin, the only way nanny1 can insist on returning to work for OP is if she goes back to the same job she had before she left on maternity leave ie withOUT her child.

As I have already said further up the thread.

By frakkinaround Fri 22-Jan-10 08:46:37
It's not that they can't return, it's more than they don't have the right to bring their baby automatically

and

By frakkinaround Sun 24-Jan-10 10:52:57
There is no way that the OP can stop nanny1 returning to work

In my previous post I was pointing out that the OP may have already said she'd already accept nanny1 back with child so, although the OP could test nanny1's commitment by saying "will you come back without your baby?", she would then have to turn around and say "oh I was just testing, I'm happy for you to bring baby too". And nanny might then feel worried and unhappy about bringing the baby because she'd been given the impression baby was welcome, then the opposite and then that baby was welcome again. This is also why a new contract would be necessary, to reflect the fact the OP accepts the nanny back to a different job - with her child. It could get even more complicated if it was in writing anywhere that OP would be happy to have nanny with own child. But basically the above scenario would be quite unfair so not really a test of why nanny1 is coming back. Therefore the only test to see whether it's financial motivation or genuinely wanting too is to decrease the salary for having her own child with her. If she genuinely wanted to then she'd understand and take the paycut, if it was financially motivated she might reconsider. But then again some money is better than no money and it's much easier to take a paycut and stay in a job than try to find a new one for more money if you're a nanny with your own child, because you've got a big black mark against your employability.

Legally of course the OP is well within her rights to say nanny1 can only come back without her child but she needs to pick a position and stick to it, and if she's already said one thing it might be detrimental to turn round and say the other.

Sorry, real life keeps getting in the way of me updating this thread.

I am not at all concerned about any nanny bringing their own baby, especially a baby. I would be concerned if the child was older tbh because my children are all school age and any older child's activities would conflict with their activities (no doubt). A baby, probably the most portable age they are poses no issues for me. And if they end up being 10 mins late for swimming because the baby needs a nappy change, well that honestly does not worry me one bit . In fact, I think it will be good for my children who are all so close in age, they never experienced what it was like to have a baby around.

In terms of nanny 1's committment - I am meeting her today. What she said on the phone was that she thought, having nannied children for so many years, that when hers came around, she'd want to give the baby all her attention. She has been with us for many years. What happened was that when the baby was born, she loved the first few months but really missed us all. She thought it would wear off but as time went on, she found herself yearning to go back to her job. She didn't say anything because she wasn't sure if it was just a temporary thing but as time went on, she became more convinced she wanted to come back. She had also moved away, to another area, and things have not worked out at all for her. They were burgled, the landlords were just total pricks and they are desperate to come back to where we live and are moving back in the next few weeks. Tbh, I think she wants to just take off where she left.

Thanks for all your suggestions. I will talk to her about her rate. THere are lots of things we need to take into consideration, especially the health of my children (they have a tendency to get some v nasty chest infections) and the impact this might have on her little one etc. etc. There's lots to talk about.

I do want her back tbh. We love her and she loves us but I want to be honest with her (and her me) about the committment it means as my children are hard work, especially with a baby in tow (though she always made it look easy!).

I feel very sorry for nanny 2 who has done a great job and been wonderful with the children. Their school work has improved immensely and she's put a huge effort into their work and well being.

After the chat with nanny 1 today, I'll know better what we are going to do. I want to put the reality of what it will be like to her and see what she thinks. Having said all that, before us, she nannied for a family with newborn twins and 3 school aged children so I have a feeling she knows what's coming!

Anyway, I haven't made up my mind yet. When I meet her, I'll probably get a better idea of how she is and how she's feeling.

and btw, nanny 1 actually suggested the paycut to me on the phone. She mentioned that her rate would now obviously drop as she would be bringing her baby. I think she is serious but I need to see her face to face to see what's going on.

In a way, I do have sympathy with her. I always smile at the women at work who go off and have babies with the best intentions of being back at work in 3 months time and then never return . I think it's very hard to predict how you will feel. I was happy to come back to work but I know a lot of people aren't and vice versa and your feelings can change so much when you've got that precious little bundle in your arms!

Thanks frakkin, had forgotten about drawing up a new contract. Will look into that after the meeting if all goes well!

You might want to discuss contracts with her in the meeting so she knows what will/won't change.

AlFreshco - you sound a lovely boss and i hope chat goes well today

Yep, sounds like nanny1 really is returning with good intentions... Perhaps suggest nanny2 to a friend? Write reference on MN and see if anyone in your area wants to 'adopt a nanny'?! Good luck.

And hello blueshoes - same wavelength again!

It does seem slightly ironic that you have two good nannies to choose from when other s are struggling to hire just one. You are either very good at recruiting or you have been very luck!
Perhaps Nanny2 could go and help BoffinMum?

As others have said, you sound like a lovley employer, You wouldnt need a childminder instead would you?..lol

if she informed you by writting that she was not coming back then and you pay the maturity money and you have a replacement due to the letter and conversation then by law you dont have to have her back it like her notice. also it messes your and your children lives up and if you need someone for the hours she did before she had baby and now wants less you can give her notice as the job she orginally had has to be long hours so no longer would work .

How come their school work has improved so much with nanny2, can nanny1 continue this momentum with baby in tow? What happens as baby gets older and less portable?