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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Childminders Club: Need advice!

6 replies

Fifi1976 · 05/07/2005 10:22

I am a fairly new childminder and I have recently started with my first child. I have been posting on this chat room for a little while now but have decided to change my name to this so I can keep my other name mainly for adverts .

Anyway, I really need some advice please. My ds is 2 and a bit and the mindee I have taken on is about the same age. They get on great a lot of the time i.e. when they are running about, at the park etc. but my ds is finding it very hard to get used to sharing his mummy and his toys . My mindee is very clingy with me (like holding onto my leg etc) and of course this is making my ds quite jealous. I of course get him to join in the cuddle etc. but mindee trys to stop him. Mindee is very used to childminders as been with them since a baby.

The problem I have is the mindee will get a toy and then ds wants it, sometimes snatches. I've told him that he has to wait and share but he goes mental and then when mindee offers it him, he no longer wants it - he wants the next toy she chooses. Nightmare when trying to cook dinner!

I know this is him being possessive and I'm sure it will pass but if anyone can offer any help or share their stories with me and reassure me this is a phase, I'd appreciate it! At the moment I am just taking him to his room for time out, not sure if this will work - hope so. I know he's being naughty but I can't help but feel sorry for him at the same time as this is all so new for him. She also likes to wind him up which sort of starts it all off - she's very bosy (think this is a girl thing) .

Any advice????

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kcemum · 05/07/2005 10:35

Hi if I remember correctly your son is an only child? I have found that the hardest part of minding is the relationships between my own children and the mindees.

As he's only two I'm pretty sure that he will grow out of it.. not helpfull now I know, but I feel that you are going the right way about it - encouraging him to share etc , this will help him in later years at nursery/school etc.

Can't give any more advice except lots of praise for your son and by the way girls are more bossy!! have 3 of my own and don't I know it!!

Original poster

Fifi1976 · 05/07/2005 10:38

Great, thanks for the reassurance. I do feel for my ds as it's so new to him but I know it will benefit him by having kiddies round, just need to give him time.

Most of ds's friends are girls and I have noticed the difference - girls bossy, boys boisterous.

Fingers crossed things will settle down soon. Just off out for a few hours now.

Thanks

OP posts:

feelingold · 05/07/2005 13:55

My ds is 5 but he still does not always like minded children playing with his toys so we bought toys from car boots, been given some by friends and these are the toys which are down stairs and belong to everyone. All of the toys belonging to dd and ds must go in their bedrooms and they are only allowed to bring them down if they are willing to share them.
I know your ds is a little young to do this but could you maybe put some of his things away when minding and buy some second hand alternatives for them to play with and then get his things out again when mindee has gone home.

lunavix · 05/07/2005 13:57

My ds is 15 months, and while he's a bit too young to know that stuff is 'his' and not the other childrens, he has more problems with sharing! If he's holding a toy, he doesn't understand why someone would have the nerve to pull it off him, and if someone's holding a toy, he is suddenly interested and wants it.

To be honest WE were more concerned with the other kids playing with his toys. I'm rather house proud and belongings-protective, so anything of his we love is in his room. He got lots of toys for his first birthday though which we share but I try to make sure the kids take good care of it.

Original poster

Fifi1976 · 05/07/2005 14:20

Ds has his special toys in his room and lots of car boot stuff downstairs so unfortunately that's not the problem. It's not the toy(s) that's the problem, more the mindee has something so he wants it ! For example, bought dolly stuff which has been put out for mindee and so he wants to play with it. I can understand this as it's something new so he's curious. HOWEVER, it's also any old thing that he really doesn't want that he causes a fuss about, just coz mindee has it!!

OP posts:

ThePrisoner · 05/07/2005 21:43

... oh the joys of childminding ...

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