Oh b*gger all going pear shaped

[PhDMumof1]

Our lovely nanny is on her last 2 weeks with us. She and I seem to have lost the plot a bit: I think that she has become quite invasive / controlling with DS around me, while she thinks that she is following normal procedure for a handover to Mum. She keeps prefacing her sentences with things like "Basically at nanny school we were told to do X, Y, Z". These sentences are all about shared care. I have been working at home for the year and I think her frustration with having "had" to deal with that is coming out, as she keeps telling me that most of her nanny friends would never do "shared" care, ie while Mum was working from home, because "It confuses the child / Mum might want to use the kitchen while nanny did / Nanny might feel self-conscious" etc etc.

She has done a really good job with DS all year, but now I am thinking back to all the niggly things she did vis a vis us as parents, and I can't wait to see the back of her ... . Feel really ungrateful and also annoyed that she is being so pushy this late in the day ...

"she just didn't interact at all with the children"

That's the key... something else I hate about agencies is that they would tell parents to interview prospective nannies without having the children present! How daft... how can you tell how well someone is going to interact with your children, unless you get to watch it happen.
Ok, I know second interviews sometimes happen though as yet, I've never had one! First impressions is what counts and if a prospective childcarer does not interact with your children... they should be on the dump list very quickly.

I had an interview recently and I was interacting with one of the children even before I had got to the front door (well he was dressed as Robin Hood, aiming pretend arrows at me!). Once I had met parents and other children, I quickly interacted with baby (yes, even holding baby after only a short time) and gently persuading shy toddler to interact with me. Did it clench the job... sure it did - and it would have been very much different if the children were not there!

Alas Jura, I think you are back to square one... you don't want a childcarer who won't interact with your children, you want someone who will entertain them, teach them, guide them, be the big sister/brother perhaps.

I like your website nick, very professional.

Jura, sorry to say I have to agree with nannynick. If there is one thing I have learned as a nanny employer it is that some traits/activities have to be sought out in a candidate and can't be taught/instructed later. And being proactive about interacting with the toddler is one of them! If she doesn't do this when you are there, just how is going to be when you aren't there. And how would you ever know?

I found her on nannyjob.co.uk. No, I haven't met her in person, but we've e-mailed and talked on the phone a couple of times. Even after offering her the job we've kept in touch on e-mail. Sometimes about the job, but also just casual chatting to sort of get to know one another.

Yes, I think she's fab too.