Child #2 nursery or childminder?

[emmajlh]

DD1 has been in nursery 2 days per week since she was 10 months old. She also goes to her grandparents 1 day per week. She is now 3 years old and baby #2 is due in April.

Reflecting on DD1s time in nursery over the past 2 and a bit years I?m having trouble deciding what to do with #2 when I return to work in 2011 ? nursery or childminder.

When DD1 was in ?the baby room? at nursery she would often cry when I left but I was always assured that she was fine as soon as I was out of sight. When she moved into the next room at around 12 months it was all fairly smooth sailing (no tears when I dropped her off), the next room was at around 18 months and was also fairly positive although there were some phases of tears they were all fairly short lived.

The room she is in now she has been in since she was about 2.5 years old. This is a much bigger room with a lot more children in and although she has been fine for the past couple of months the first 3 months were proper big tears and having to be peeled off me and lots of ?I don?t want to go to nursery?.

Throughout the 2 and a bit years of also going to her grandparents there has never been any tears. I know this is probably because they spoil her and she gets their undivided attention.

Whenever she has been crying when I drop her off I tell myself she?ll be fine in a few minutes and perhaps she?ll be more independent as she grows up (?!!). She is a wonderful child; happy, assertive, sociable, good at sharing etc and I think; is part of that because of nursery or would she be exactly the same had she been with a childminder?

Has anyone got any views? How do you ever know what is best? I don?t regret the childcare solutions I choose for DD1 I think she has learnt a lot of skills from nursery (not to say she wouldn?t have learnt the same skills with a childminder) and has always been happy when I?ve picked her up and has friends there and staff she adores. Thinking of #2 I wonder if there wouldn?t be the tears with a childminder. I know I could always go with one choice and then change but changes can be really unsettling for babies/toddlers so would prefer to make the right choice from the start.

Anyone had any similar experiences and made a different childcare choice for #2?

Also posted in nurseries.

I am a CM, so I am biased, but one point to consider is that if you put them both with a CM, they will be together (if you want that).

I have one child here who's sibling went to nursery but mum decided on childminder 2nd time round. I think she was thinking ahead to the older sibling being at school and of course a nursery can't do a school drop off/pick up and school holiday care etc (although there are lots of schools who have clubs now). Anyway, when I went on maternity leave for 12 weeks, the younger sibling did go to that nursery and I was told cried every time She was fine when back here so for HER, a baby room at nursery wasn't what she wanted but this doesn't mean the same for you. Just letting you know what this person said. You have to look at the whole picture and do what you think is best. If it doesn't work out, you can always change. Yes, it's best not to have to but it's also best to move them from somewhere they are not happy.

Sorry that probably doesn't help much, I'm rushing as the kettle has just boiled and I want to make a quick cuppa before the first of the kiddies wakes up

DD1 went to nursery as that seemed easier (I did originally try to find a childminder, but couldn't at that point). DD2 has been with a childminder since she was 5 months and I'm really happy with the choice (more so than I was with the nursery TBH). It suits us very well as she can be flexible in having DD1 after school if I need her to. DD2 is also a different character from DD1 and is not so outgoing / confident / sociable, so the childminder environment suits her well. She is starting at pre-school this week (she'll be 3 in March) so is now starting to socialise more with a view to going to school etc.