is it normal in your experience?

[theory]

Wondering what nannies and parents think-
my little one is about 15 months now, has been with nanny 4 days/week since September, and she still cries and clings to me when I leave for work in the morning. It seems to have gotten worse recently, too. I assume this is pretty normal - and that these things go in phases - but was just wondering what people had to say about their experiences. Nanny is sweet and loving, but I wouldn't say DD seems happy to see her. She does still light up when she sees her previous nanny, who was with her 3 days/week over the summer and babysits from time to time.

I'm not very concerned about this, but there is a chance that we'll have to change nannies again (long story), and I'm trying to get a sense for how disruptive this might be, if it might actually be an okay idea. Is it possible that she simply hasn't bonded with this person? Nannies- I'm sure this is a difficult question to answer - but do you feel this has ever been the case with any of your charges? Parents?

Well this is the age separation anxiety does kick in and there was one little girl I babysat for who was funny with me around this age for about 3 months, but I saw her at most fortnightly so it's different. I would have expected that after 4 months they would have bonded.

It does happen that nannies and charges don't bond but I've thankfully never had that last. The longest was a month with an exceptionally shy older child. Babies IME adapt much faster. If they haven't bonded well then your DD will adapt quite quickly and it shouldn't be too much of an issue. Plus, tough as it may seem at the time, children are remarkably resilient creatures and do adapt within quite a short space of time.

Be aware that if your DD does have severe and quite extreme separation anxiety you may have the same problem all over again though.

Tbh I would be concerned if I was the nanny here. Have you tried talking to her? How does dd seem when you come home?

I am a cm not a nanny and I would be very worried if one of my mindees still seemed so distressed after 3 months. Maybe I have been lucky but all of mine have settled really quickly.

Does she settle as soon as you have leave though? if she doesnt then I assdume the nanny would be more upset??

It is possible that she hasn't bonded. Hard to tell without actually being there every day. What does your nanny say? Is your DD just creating at the time you depart, or does it last for longer than that? Children will protest as parents leave... that can happen whatever form of childcare you use, even happens when they go to school.

Could you ask the opinion of someone who sees them together when you're not around - neighbour, cleaner, other mother at a playgroup they go to or leader of a class they attend?

Thanks everyone for the input. I like the idea of asking someone else for their observations of how things are going.

I've talked to DD's nanny about it, and she says DD settles pretty quickly after I leave. (She usually has a bottle then, and that helps). But she's also quite clingy with her during the day, too, apparently - doesn't want her to leave the room, is jealous when she shows lots of attention to the other little charge, (we're in a share), and can be "sad" (the word nanny uses).

TBH, I think the thing that makes me wonder most is the comparison with her reaction to the previous nanny, now sometime babysitter. DD is very bubbly and "talkative" with her when she comes by and with us, too, and she seems so subdued, even flat with the nanny now. Perhaps this is unfair, though, as their personalities are very different. (The previous nanny is very bubbly and talkative herself.)