Bad behviour - what to do when U work full time

[Lasvegas]

DD 2.5 going through normal phase of asserting her independance, eg I want to stay in my pyjama's, I don't want Daddy to talk etc etc. In the eve and at w/e I don't give in to her and give her time out if she goes into a tantrum. But in the am before work I cajole her, distract & give in. The alternative is for her to have no breakfast and be left at minder when hysterical. Which I cannot bring myself to do. Also it may seem to her that she is being left at minder as a punishment. I realise that there should be consistency but what else can I do on work mornings.

Sorry, might sound harsh, but I would let her go to the CM without breakfast. Presumably, she won't starve and when she calms down she could have something to eat there? I don't see how being left at the minder's house could be construed as a punishment as presumably she has been going there happily for some time and it's just something that would happen regardless of her mood on a particular morning. Otherwise, I think you are just sending her mixed messages about what is acceptable or not.

you're giving her mixed messages .. absolutely no tolerance at any time for this behaviour .. she will gradually realise that if she waits till before work she will get what she wants if she creates .. a really bad lesson i think

I have a ds of 2.8 yo and if he won't get dressed, eat his breakfast etc I tell him he won't go to play group and then he gets a move on. Of course if he called my bluff I would have to go through with it wouldn't I but so far so good. Does your dd see the CM as soemthing to look forward? I think you need to have consistency and if that means hungry and tantruming on arrival at CM then so be it. Talk to the CM about this before you do it so she's prepared

Unfortunately DD doesn't want to go to childminder, she wants me not to go to work. (Even though she has been in various care arrangements since 7 months old.) Occasionally tantrums are Mummy don't go to work but usually just random things that annoy her. She would like to sleep in but has to get up at 7.20am so grumpy to start the day off. Having said that she can be in a bad mood at w/e when she wakes up naturally. No pattern just her asserting her independence. Thanks for advise it is basically what DP said (but I ignored him as thought he was insensitive man!)

My ds tells me to go to work as he wants Granny to look after him