Nanny Disaster - Stealing

[AnxietyOverload]

Namechanged. Nanny has been stealing from us . She has been with us three years and apart from normal titters has always been quite reliable and honest (I think!). Children adore her, references glow, etc. etc.

She has been taking cash from a hidden stash in the house and recently I've planted smaller bills around and she has taken the bait nearly every time. I know it's her, we don't have anyone else in the house and I'm a single mum.

We live very rurally and need the flexibility of a full-time nanny but literally can not find anyone to replace her. I really don't know how to go about this, apart from downing two bottles of red wine this evening (hence the late posting!). Any advice?

oh dear, sorry about your situation but you must do something, you cant carry on like this! she is stealing from you!!! you must confront her!

Please before you act, are you 100% positive it isn't one of the children?

Also if she is that good (in every other way), maybe you could keep her if you challenged her about the stealing, deal with it and then no longer leave money in the house?

If you are sure its her then get rid - what else could she be dishonest about?!

Firstly don't leave any money around the house. If you need to have some cash around, keep it in your purse.
How old are your children? Is there anyone else who ever comes to the house, could be someone coming for a playdate.
While you may be right that it is her, unless caught with a specifcially marked note, caught on video, then it's very hard to prove beyond doubt.
Have you talked to her about money going missing, not in terms of accusing her but in terms of letting her know that you are aware and warning her not to leave any money around?
Tighten up on any access to money your nanny has, for example the weekly activities budget. Insist on a log being kept on what the money is spent on.
Is everything else going ok, or is this just the tip of an iceburg?

nick, speaking as a host mother, Id say it is impossible to keep someone in the house once the trust has broken down. Stealing money implies a huge lack of respect, you dont know what else is going on behind your back.
If the OP is absolutely sure it's the nanny (and not one of the children, for example?), then she really has no choice but to lose her.

The big thing is, to be absolutely sure you are correct, because a false accusation would be too awful.

I agree but at the momentI don't feel there is sufficient evidence.
Are there other issues here, such as why 'quite reliable' 'normal titters' either someone is reliable, or they aren't, what are normal titters?
Theft can be hard to prove but if there are other issues as well, then the missing money is taken into account when deciding to dismiss someone, even if it isn't listed as a specific reason.
It is about trust, if you don't trust your nanny you need to look at replacing them.

Also as the op's nanny has been there for 3 years it's going to be more difficult to get rid without having a very good reason. Proven theft is a good reason but as nick pointed out it would be difficult to prove without catching her with a marked note (how? going through her stuff?) or video (illegal without her consent).

Theft is theft and if it is her taking the money and you don't trust her anymore then you should get rid but you need to be careful how you do. What terms of dismissal are in your contract? In mine proven theft or reasonable suspicion of theft is gross misconduct and warrants instant dismissal.

as others have said are you certian it is the nanny and not the children/childrens friends?

the only way you can prove it is to have marked notes or set up a video camera where you leave money

you cant sack her till you have proof, but once you do then yes sacking is the only way

the trust has gone and even if she is a fab nanny you wont be able to trust her