Oh bugger

[Mousey84]

I am a CM, and regularly bring a 5 year old boy to school in mornings. I stand at patrol man and he walks across and down to doors, into school (round a corner where I cant see him actually go in) and once he rounds the corner I go to the house just across from the school to pick up another mindee.

Since September, the doors have been open from 8.40 (prob earlier, but in the days I did walk him right down, we were never there earlier than that) We got there at 8.47, he walked in as normal. Except he didnt. He went and left his bags and went up into the playground, and I didnt see him do that. Mum just called, really cross (boy said he felt ill to a neighbour who was leaving another child in). I completely understand why she is cross and feel so stupid for not walking him right in - it only takes 2 mins. (But) since the doors were always open before... Anyway Ill be walking him in from now on and waiting to ensure he takes off coat and into classroom (actually, Ill prob just leave house later so we just get there before bell goes and doors are locked)

So now what should I do? Write an incident report to NICMA (our version on NCMA)? Write a formal letter to parent?

I posted cause I wasnt sure what would be best to do - I knew incident report and letter to mum, but wasnt sure if there was anything else I am expected to do as a formality.

I am not cross with the mum, or looking support for my actions.

I will be walking him right to door, and waiting until the doors are locked from now on.

Tell me she isn't still going to leave him with you?

I think she would have to be just as careless with the safety of her ds if she did tbh.

I am taking it very seriously.

The 90% bit was included because someone asked if many kids his age walk in by themselves - Im saying yes, most do.

I told the mum what I did, and she was ok with it. When school procedure changed, I walked him closer than I did before until very recently. It would have made very little difference to my view between the gates and the patrol man.

I am in fill sight of the school gate til after the bell goes. Im not in any rush to leave the school gates, and when I pick up other mindee, I am still in full view of school gates.

The fact it is a wee road was mentioned not because it means it is "safe" but as the reason why the school changed from outside supervised play at 8.45 onwards, to earlier supervised play indoors.

I've reported your post naming the child Mousey.

Am at this whole thread.

Where has she named the child I cant see it.

I note from your post you told the mum and she was ok with it, my DD is 5 and started school last Aug and the school is 1 min from my house but I still walk her every day and wait till I see her "line" walk in and the teachers come out at home time and see that every child is met. We dont get into the playground but teachers come out when the bell rings.
mousy please dont let these children out of your sight even if the mum says its ok they are still babies.

cut OP some slack - she has admited mistake, she only came on here for advice about what to do next & has not posted on AIBU for a flaming!!

It seems from her post that her actions are exactly the same as most of the other parents/carers at that school.

Thinking about it, it could have happened to me! Only difference being it's my own kids & not someone elses.

My kids school have similar routine, where doors are opened by staff member at 8.50 PROMPT then when most kids have gone through, the staff member goes back into the school to help kids with coats etc. The door is left open UNSUPERVISED until 9.00 PROMPT when it is closed. If parents are running late they stand at gate into playground & send their kids across playground to the door, then walk away - as door is not manned, there is a possiblity that my kids could of legged it out of school too before now!

Seems school is at fault too as they have duty of care for children on the premises.

think people should leave personal attacks to AIBU if they are not able to answer OPs question!

I did wonder why you posted the child name Mousey84!!!

NoChristmas, there's a MASSIVE HUGE different in doing this with yur own child (which is still negligent and daft imo( and doing it with a mindee as a childminder paid to be in loco parentis of somebodys child.

I'm shocked that she doesn't seem to mind, that she still want you as her CM says to be that she is just as negligent with her childs safety as you are.

Our school do not admit responsibility of the children until the bell goes at 8.50. Hence why we all stay. It is not the schools fault, it is the OPs fault.

Actually it would be possible for a child to do this at ds' school. The parents are firmly encouraged to wait at front of school, children go through the low gate, round the corner, out of sight, and inside into the cloakroom & classroom. Ds's CM stands midpoint (between the various exits of a morning for her various drop-offs) but technically it would be possible for ds to turn round and walk out once the lady at the gate had gone and before the door was locked for late-comers. He wouldn't, but he could. And with someone else's child you never know.

Mousey, I hope otherwise you have a good relationship with your mindee and his mother and you can work past this and learn from your mistake. It's quite easy to slip into a false sense of security, justifying that you are being sensitive to his needs, but the result is you have become lax on the most important one, the one you have to be most scrupulous about, his health and safety. And it's bitten you on the bum.

The balance imo has gone wrong, as he needs to adjust to your CM routines that you put in place for his benefit, not you to his, as you are the grown-up and he is a little boy. Ds' CM is very good about talking and explaining why they do what they do and what to do if...? (Ds likes routines)

I'm not sure what the formal incident report route is (others will be able to say) but as his mother I would want to apologise for it happening but be totally reassured that my child was absolutely safe in your care, that he knew what he needed to do if he didn't feel well/didn't want to go to school (that needs probing further to find out if he has any worries imo) and that you had taken immediate steps to address this. I would perhaps ask the mother if she wanted you to formally record it with Ofsted and give her copies of the paperwork (unless of course this is a mandatory procedure?)

Sorry, that should say YOU apologize for it being possible to happen and that in future you will accompany him to the door and then give him a few minutes. You will also alert the teacher that this has happened to ensure a secure handover.

I think if you were to just ring your hands, I'd lose faith in you.

I drop off both Infants and Juniors. The Juniors are left in the playground with teachers supervising. We can stay there until they go into school with their respective class teacher, but we would not be thanked by infants in our charge who might be late if we don't walk them round to their part of the school. We are not allowed in the Junior buildings.

The infants I take to the appropriate door and watch them go in. We are strongly discouraged from going inside because it's just too crowded in the cloakrooms. When they start in reception we are allowed in to the cloakrooms for the first few weeks until they get into the swing of taking coats off, hanging them up etc. But so many parents take pushchairs in there that it is a nightmare in reception corridor in those few weeks. I dread it when one of mine starts school because of this. But, in all cases the children are there, either in the playground or in the corridors, with nobody to stop them escaping during the five or ten minutes before the doors are locked. I suppose it's different at all schools. However I'm pretty sure that none of the CM who go to our school would allow a child under eight to go into school unsupervised, let alone cross a road as well.

at the school i drop of at parents are not allowed in the playground or the school. this is so that teachers can keep track of who is on the grounds and would query any adult on the grounds as the could be anybody. you have to leave the children at the gate and the go round the corner and line up. the whol school line up at the same place so there are lots of children and less likely for some1 to steal any child without another noticing. also where they line up the mini bus round about parking is there so there are the bus staff standing about waiting to drop the children in there bus off when the bell goes so there would see any strange behaviour going on. luckly just now i have been driving to school and parking where the mini buses go so can see them line up and leave the minute the bell goes my mindee is in p1 but once he is in p3 he will need to be dropped at school earlier and be left or dropped off late everyday as my daughter starts school and she ll b at a different school and he will be older and more able to be left than my daughter who is younger

sorry, i've lost the plot a bit here, where did the op name the child?

Did the mother know you was leaving her child to go into school alone?

it was removed Simpleas

My children are 4, 6 and 8 and I take them in to school youngest to eldest. I don't leave the playground until I have seen my eldest go in to school. I can't understand how anyone would leave a 5 year old to go from A to B alone and the mother is also at fault for allowing this, unless she had no choice..

parents can do what they like but registered cm/professional nannys etc cant

i take my dc7 into playground and wait for her to go into line at whistle time then take dc4 into nursery

i didnt think cm were allowed to let their mindess out of sight, regardless of what they have said/arranged with mum, unless got in in writing

either way, make sure you learn from this - i dont know the policys of cm and ofsted reports but think you do need to have something in writing and mum to sign it saying what had happened

Mousey In answer to your original post i would do the following:

1. Complaints log
2. Risk Assessment
3. Review your school drop/collection policy's in light of what has happened.
4. Write letter to parent with a copy of complaint log stating what you will do to rectify the situation.
5. Incident Report.
6. Get in touch with school clarify arrangements and note this in your findings also.

I would not be surprised if the incident was reported to Ofsted. You will need to show how you will do things in future and re-assure this parent how you will care for the child. Bear in mind that mindees should always be within "sight/sound at all times" whilst in your care. When you have a mindee they fit in with you, they follow your rules and your policys end of - yes be mindful of individual feelings but at 5 they are much to young to be requesting indipendance of this kind. I drop / collect 10/11 yr olds I allow them to go into their playground but I stay until the bell goes and I can SEE a teacher taking them into the school, I don't care what anyone thinks when they are in my care they abide by my rules. I would also refuse to allow a child to travel independantly without written specific consent from parents and if I thought they were too young / sensible enough, regardless of parental wishes.